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Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 29, 2017 - 12:56 Reply with quote Back to top

The four game road trip was one the Archers of Avelon would rather forget. It opened with a humiliating defeat where they could not muster a point and ended with a draw and Kydeth suffering a nasty hip injury. Sandwiched in the middle was a pair of draws.

Someone once said that “A draw is like kissing your sister. Sure you can do it and there may be times it is even appropriate, but neither of you should ever get anything out of it.”

That sentiment pretty well summarized the Archer mood as their wagons rolled slowly back towards Avelon.

However, there was one highlight during the trip. Game 83, the first game of the road trip came against the Chaos team of Knopfler and Friends. While no one had yet figured out who or what Knopfler was, the game itself was a landmark. For 50 solid games the Archers had been more resilient than any dwarf in history. In fact in the history of the Fumbbl Confederation no one could remember a time that a team had been so long suffering. Over the course of 50 games not a single Archer had stepped off the Blood Bowl pitch and into retirement. Some had even struggled through what normally would have been career ending injuries for the glory of the Archers of Avelon.

After that match the High Elf team, The Archers of Avelon, was the first team in history to claim what should have been a dwarf Fumbbl Badge. They claimed the Mustn’t Grumble Badge and had it proudly hung in the Archer of Avelon Club House.


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 30, 2017 - 07:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Monsoon season was upon Avelon. The regular afternoon downpour made travel difficult, but it also dampened the number of patrons frequenting the Tarnished Crown. Most of the regulars did not want to risk being caught in the storm on their way home. Not only did you risk getting soaked, more than one drunk had been found dead face down in a puddle or ditch the next morning. In this weather, if you were going to drink it was best to drink at home.

Corbis took advantage of the situation to tidy up the place and catch up on a little maintenance work. As the gnome stood on the bar putting new candles in one of the chandeliers, the front door unexpectedly opened. Corbis nearly fell off the bar. Through the door came a team that was clearly from LUSTria.

No less than fourteen incredible amazon specialists casually walked in. They stood proud and tall in their full glory, soaked from head to toe in the storm.

Corbis sat down on the bar to take it all in.

It would be hard to find a physical fault with this group. Blond, brunette, redhead, blue hair, tall, almost midget short, dark completions, light completions, blue eyes, brown eyes, honey eyes, and a set of triplets. All were represented.

Coming from a land populated entirely by women, there was little need for modesty and they wore what was functional for the climate. In this unusually hot weather wore light thin attire the rain did what will do.

When the coach Eldrich Fox came in, Corbis did not even notice him. He had just noticed how the rain had caused the carefully applied war paint around the amazon eyes to streak down each one of their beautiful faces.

Helmut Wulf had also accompanied the team and he politely tapped Corbis on the arm. “If you could be bothered to take our gold, we would like lodging until our match with the Archers.”

At the mention of gold, the gnome started to pay a little attention to the males in the room. “What do you require? We try to cater to everyone.”

Eldrich responded. “I heard you are equipped for dark elf tastes. Those accommodations should do well. We have no equipment or wagons only two mules for the team, a horse, and saddlebags for each of us. We just need you to stable the mounts.”

Corbis mumbled his approval. “Dark elf accommodations.” He thought to himself. “I thought they were freaks.” Before showing the team around the establishment he went to the door and hung a “No Vacancy” sign on the outside of it. Under the circumstances he did not want any more customers.

When Kondor learned there was an Amazon team lodged at the Tarnished Crown all he could do was sigh in resignation. He had purposefully avoided amazon teams because it was the only race the Archers had not yet faced. After this match he would be sporting a new tattoo.

As could be expected at this time of year, the game was played in the mud and muck to the absolute glee of the spectators. It was inevitable that the fans would invade the pitch considering eye candy on the field. It was also inevitable that every fan who chose to set foot on the field was carted off on a stretcher as neither the Amazons nor High Elves found the behavior acceptable.

Fortunately for the Archers, most of them did not have goolies to get. Rather Revwe single handedly took control of the match by injuring four amazons. Corbis was visibly shaken as he and the Amazon apothecary tried in vain to save Ann. In the days prior to the match she was one of several Amazons who took an interest in the gnome.

When both teams finally retired to the showers to wash the blood and grime away, the final score was 1-0 in favor of the Archers.



Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 30, 2017 - 10:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Kondor was frankly relieved to see Coach C98 accompany the heavy lifting ogres to the field and headed to the opposing sideline for a chat.

He did not mince words. “I’ve got to know. What happened after the match between the Titans and the Archers. In fact I’d like to know what had happened prior to the match.”

C98 looked at him. “Brother, you just would not understand. I don’t even know where to begin. I would say I’m never doing that again. In fact I never imagined doing what we did, and I have a fertile imagination. But to be honest I might just end up doing it again. I just don’t know if this old body could handle it. It went on and on, over and over, and then there were the tomatoes, badgers, and scrub brushes. I really freaked out when sprites and goblins showed up. I have the scars to prove it. No. I’d say I’m never doing that again but I might be lying.”

Kondor was terrified and intrigued. “Tomatoes?”

“I can’t say any more. If it got out I think I would be ostracized.” Said C98.

Kondor could not let it go. “I don’t understand. Tomatoes…..?”

“That is correct. TOMATOES! I’ve already said too much. But from now on you can pay me in tomatoes when you lose a match. Now that is the last I am saying about it.”

“Sprites and goblins…?” said Kondor absently.

C98 huffed angrily and left Kondor where he stood who then went back to the Archer sideline for the match.

The match itself turned out to be one for the ages. Elves were sent to injured dugout as if they were snotlings, and Revwe treated the snotlings like snotling. She terrorized the runts injuring five of them in an epic performance.

Prince Moranion even showed up to the game only to be carted off the field almost as soon as he arrived.

In the closing moments of the game, Eastwood decided he had seen enough carnage among the runts and decided to set Revwe straight. Today she would acknowledge his existence. The blow was a bit more than he intended. She went down face first and for a long while she did not move. Only a light groan proved she was not dead.

Corbis reached the field with his medical bag but knew immediately this was not something he was prepared to deal with. The medical unit carted her to the locker room to the cheers of the fans with Corbis following closely behind.

The final horn sounded with the score 2-2 but the Archers were more worried about their team captain than the score.

In the center of the locker room Revwe lay prone on a gurney. The stoic look from the gnome at her side conveyed the clear message that the situation was critical. He announced to everyone. “Broken neck. Her legs aren’t going to work right again.”

Everyone in the room had seen it before, but this was Revwe. One by one they chatted with her and encouraged her to keep her spirits up and then they left her in the care of Corbis. Kondor sat silently in a chair on the other side of the room struggling with his own internal daemons and staring at the broken body of his chief rival.

Revwe looked at Corbis thinking they were alone. “End this. End this now.” She said. “You’ve done it before on the field, but now I tell you do end this now.”

Corbis hesitated as Kondor silently watched. At last he took a scalpel from his satchel and placed it in her hand. “Not at my hand. I won’t do it.”

She nodded understandingly but before she could move Kondor’s voice came quietly from the distance. “No. Stop her Corbis.”

Without hesitation the gnome grabbed her hand preventing and pulled the blade from it.

“Kondor?” stated Revwe, and then with understandable vitriol. “Kondor! Now you are going to do something? Now you are going to gloat? Is this how you get even? You would deny me this? Do you want to see me go through an elven life time like this? You coward! You heartless creature! You HUMAN!!!”

Kondor walked over and looked down at her on the gurney full of anger and frustration. One by one he pointed at the tattoos on his body. Then in a flat menacing tone he spoke. “You gave me these. You made me the poster boy for the Archers and put me up for open scorn. You have led the Archer Kill Team and collected an untold number of heads. Seven bounties on the field if my count is correct.”

For once Revwe showed a hint of surprise.

Kondor continued. “Yes I know about the Kill Team. If I am heartless then yours is black and rotten. I have waited a long time for this moment, and I knew it would arrive if I was patient. I knew you would either end up like this or dead. I actually think this is preferable. Revwe Larereta, I… OWN …YOU.”

Kondor ran his hand through Revwe’s auburn hair, and the emotion that crossed the elf’s face was another new one. It was a hint of fear.

She shuddered, then composed herself and tried to talk her way out of it.
“Kondor, be reasonable. You have made several fortunes as coach of the Archers.”

Kondor scoffed at her feeble attempt. “Don’t worry. You are correct. You have made several fortunes for me. That is not what I want. I can buy as much elf flesh as I desire in the brothels of the Avelon Violet District. In that aspect you do not interest me. No Revwe. I am going to heal you and put you back on the blood bowl pitch to suffer and hopefully die eventually.”

Revwe looked confused.

“Long ago.” Said Kondor. “Long ago a coach named Christer gifted me with a draught that he said would cure any ailment, injury, or disease. It is priceless, and I have carefully guarded it in case I ever needed it for myself. I was advised that it was meant for me and if anyone else used it they would lose some of their free will. That I would have a measure of control over them.”

Kondor grabbed the hapless and now terrified elf by the jaw. “After today, you will do nothing to harm me and everything to protect me. You will do nothing to harm yourself. You will maintain the façade of our rivalry but you will pay me 90 percent of your bounties.”

Revwe forced her head to one side and blurted “Death is better.”

“That is not your option. I OWN YOU.” Said Kondor and he forced the liquid content of the potion down her throat. Then turned and walked to the door. “Make sure you are at practice tomorrow Revwe.”

“Yes sir.” She stated and pushed herself into a seated position.


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Sep 11, 2017 - 11:16 Reply with quote Back to top

Three days after the encounter with the ogres, Kondor scheduled a match against the Halfling team from a town a day’s journey South of Avelon.

To the shock of everyone on the high elf team, one of the “Flings” that came to play did not fit the mold. It was obvious to everyone except the referee that a human had infiltrated the team. As the ogre referee inspected the teams the poorly disguised human squatted to avoid attention and the ogre only glanced at him before shaking his head and walking away.

Kondor recognized the imposter immediately and chuckled. The gold front tooth and red leather cleats with a matching red choker gave the horrible disguise away immediately. Somehow, Coach C98 managed to register himself as a player on the Halfling team. Coach Kondor was certain that it would not be long before the entire team identified the fraudulent fling and took their frustrations out on the rival coach.

Fortunately for C98, the Archers had more to worry about than identifying the human on the field. Esmeralda’s Apron had hired Deeproot in addition to their normal pair of formidable trees. The elves maneuvered around the field avoiding the trees and hitting a fling wherever the chance presented itself, while the human hid in the shade of the wooden guardians.

It was not until he ended up with the ball that he drew any attention. The tree thought he saw a fling with the ball and tried to pick him up and toss him downfield only to drop the unexpected weight back on the ground near his own roots.

Adresin thought she finally found a favorable angle to jar the ball loose and blitzed the player she had momentarily confused for a Halfling. Unfortunately for her, C98 was no pushover as he had chiseled himself into a stone wall through untold hours in the gym. Adresin hit her target but the target did not move except to lower its shoulder and deliver its own punishing blow knocking her to the ground and knocking her senseless.

Unfortunately for C98, Deeproot decided to step in. He had never met a fling he could not toss so he grabbed C98 by the jersey lifting him a few inches of the ground into a face down prone position. Then with a grunt and a swing, with an underhand motion he tossed the ball carrying human as far down field as he could.

The elves had never seen a flying human, and C98 had never intended to fly. He did not fly far, and he was thoroughly unprepared to stick the landing. To his credit he did at least try to land on his feet. As he hit the ground his ankle twisted and the ball popped loose. Grabbing his ankle all he could do was watch as Kydeth picked up the ball and passed it to Revwe for the score that insured the win.

When the final whistle blew Kondor crossed the pitch and spoke to Coach Big F. The chunky Halfling smiled with a huge toothy grin. A few moments of conversation revealed that C98 had lost a bet to the Halfling Coach and had been required to play a string of games for Esmeralda’s Apron. This game marked the only time he had even touched the ball. Ironically, in this match he would be credited with scoring a casualty without even officially throwing a block and added to Esmeralda’s weekly newsletter for cracking Adresin’s skull.

Returning to the locker-room, Kondor shook his head. Even in a game against flings, the Archers could not escape C98.

2-0 win vs Halflings https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3912128

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Sep 12, 2017 - 12:01 Reply with quote Back to top

The game had been a complete snooze fest yet now Kondor sat in the corner booth of the Shining Bauble watching the Archers celebrate after a draw. The visiting Chaos Dwarf team Shining Force coached by Hrothgor had been unable to do any damage, and the elves had only managed to score once. The fans from both teams went home frustrated and unfulfilled.

Yet they celebrated. Fame is such a fleeting thing and in the world of Blood Bowl even life is uncertain. With today’s score, Throthradir had been named a living legend within the league. The catcher joined Revwe, Kydeth, and Nienna on a platform that only a few players would ever reach. As a catcher she was one of the most well rounded players in the game. She blocked, dodged, tackled, and stripped the ball as well as anyone and her speed made her a constant threat to score.

As a testament to her skill she was a clear fan favorite having been named most valuable player more often than any High Elf currently playing the game.

Yet, if the celebration was not enough to turn Kondor’s stomach, the creature that sat next to him would do so. The changling spy, Xolaxlexa, had chosen today to pay him a visit. As always, the monster did the best she could to toy with his emotions. Today, the mostly hooded visage was that of his maternal grandmother. It was a face he had not seen since his childhood but it was one he could never forget. Somehow the imitator even managed to channel the rasping voice caused by decades of chain smoking titan weeds.

Kondor glowered over his glass of pomegranate juice directing an obvious look of disgust at his companion. The harsh voice from beneath the hood taunted. “Kondor my Pet Aardvark, haven’t you missed yer grams? Why in the world did she used to call you an aardvark? And since when are you a tea tottler?”

The glare continued and so did Xolaxlexa. “No matter. I have come on business to bring you the last dossier you asked for. This one was fun. I think you will find it very useful especially since the Archers seem to be prospering.”

Xolaxlexa passed him a scroll tube, but Kondor did not say a word.

“My…It looks like I struck a nerve this time. Don’t hold it against me. You know you are my favorite client.”

Having tired of the game and growing disturbed at Kondor’s silence Xolaxlexa let her features change. The age melted from the old woman and the white hair and skin darkened until the figure at the table took the form of generic looking twenty something attractive Westerner.

Only at that point did Kondor pull the small purse filled with painite crystals from inside his jacket. With Throthradir’s promotion he figured Xolaxlexa may make an appearance. He set the purse next to the woman and with an obviously pained inflection said, “This time you have gone too far.”

The woman tilted her head almost sympathetically and then reverted to a mocking smile. “You’ll get over it.” She said. “Contact me when you want my services again.”

Kondor watched her as she stood and walked to the door. Once she was gone he opened the dossier and read what was truly some enlightening information.

SUBJECT: Official Dossier – Throthradir Falavoul

FOR: Client – Name Confidential

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Race – High Elf, Completion – Pale, Hair – Platinum Blond, Eyes – Blue, Height – 190 cm, Weight – 75 kg, Age 79 years

BACKGROUND: Born in the slums of Fathnore to the house of Falavoul. Mother Anarzee Falavoul was a maid in the house of Larereta. Mother deceased 59 years ago. Father is unknown. Raised by human step-father Maxim Lamplighter now aged 73. Lamplighter is the head gardener of house Larereta. No known siblings.

STORY: Throthradir childhood took place largely in the Larereta manor. To say he grew up in the shadow of Revwe and her siblings would be to understate the facts. Rather, he was relentlessly tormented and beaten by Revwe’s brothers and forced into the most menial of tasks. The fact that his high elf family had fallen so low as to be servants in their home made it easy to justify their cruelty. Of the Larereta household, only the patriarch Captain Castien showed any compassion.

While Castien did not treat Throthradir well, he still demanded that every elf in his home should be trained with a blade and bow. Throthradir made the most of the requirement and excelled at both. Upon reaching the age of maturity he immediately joined the City Guard Force.

If the young elf believed his time in the Larereta manor would afford him an advantage amongst the guards he was mistaken. He was nicknamed Revwe’s Boy and tasked with the worst details. The fact that Revwe never recognized Throthradir had joined the guard force was irrelevant.

At last Throthradir could take the humiliation and scorn no longer so he resigned from the City Guard and picked up a job as messenger and equipment manager of the Nandorians. With the Nandorians, he was allowed to practice with the team from time to time and found the game enjoyable. He was able to vent his frustrations at life and pummel unsuspecting elves that clearly considered themselves to be his betters.

In time Throthradir was shocked when Revwe appeared on the practice squad of the Nandorians. He kept to himself and if Revwe ever recognized him she did never let anyone know it. When the Archers of Avelon were formed, Throthradir took a risk and tried out for the team. He was shocked when Revwe and the other founding menbers of the team pulled him aside and offered him a job as the second blitzer on the field.

As a blitzer, Throthradir’s career lasted 27 games with 6 scores and 10 casualties. Unfortunately in his 27th game he was niggled by an orc lineman on the opening play of the match. Due to his error on the field, the ball was freed and the Archers lost the match. Throthradir did not take the loss or the injury well. He took some time away from the field to recover and revamp his career. With the niggled shoulder he would never be a quality blitzer and without drastic measures he knew he would never be trusted on the team. He decided to transition. He would transition from Blitzer to Catcher and from male to female.

Eight months after leaving the Archers in disgrace he returned and applied for a job as a rookie catcher. With long flowing blond hair and a complete female appearance his commitment was beyond question and the Archers welcomed him to the field.

What is unknown to the Archers is that things with Throthradir are not as they seem. At the elf transition center in the town of Foggy Bottom Throthradir met Saraline Galwyn. He the depressed and unloved elf fell for human cleric that administered his transition potions. Due to the new found emotion and justified fear of the final procedure, he never completed the transition. Saraline now lives in the Merchant Sector of Avelon and is expecting his second child, while Throthradir lives in fear that Revwe will one day learn that he is not the complete female he purports to be.

SCOUTING REPORT: Throthradir’s only weakness is that of all High Elf catchers. He choose to take the field more lightly armored than his colleagues making him more fragile and opening him up to targeted attacks. Fortunately he has spent more time in the training room than most catchers and recently opposing players have learned that he is fully capable of delivering punishing blows.

HOBBIES: Throthradir has no real hobbies. He is dedicated to his family and his craft. On non-game days he will be found on the practice field or in the training room. However, his late afternoons and evenings are spent with his 6 year old son and adoring wife Saraline


Kondor looked took his eyes from the parchment and looked at the table of elves celebrating Throthradir's accomplishments and could not help but feel for Throthradir. The buxom blond had clearly suffered at the hands of Revwe more than anyone else. It may be a sign of weakness but Kondor knew that he could never reveal the secrets in the scroll to any of the other Archers of Avelon.


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Sep 15, 2017 - 11:36 Reply with quote Back to top

Now that is was a well schedule match.” Thought Kondor. Sure the Archers pulled off a win but they had paid for it in pain. Coach Jorj certainly chose his cattle well. Biquette proved that they were a team of more than pretty bovine. Bizou impressed with two of the teams five casualties inflicted while Bada made her presence known with four flagrant fouls before being caught by the referee. By the end of the match four starting Archers were seriously injured with broken bones and concussions.

Kondor shook hands with Coach Jorj at midfield, patted him on the back, and said “If your team plays like that regularly, I would love to arrange games regularly.”

Jorj just snorted and pointed at the scoreboard. “I don’t know, but at the very least we need a rematch.” He said with a smile.

The two shook hands and parted ways. This one could turn into a great rivalry.

2-1 win over chaos. https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3912585
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