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Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 04:44 Reply with quote Back to top


Yo, this thread is for match reports and bragging related to Secret League Americas - the US time-zone's #1 place for Secret League action! Very Happy

"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz

Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 05:08 Reply with quote Back to top

In a fiercely-contested and thrilling encounter, JellyBelly's Were team, Raining Cats and Dogs were handed their first defeat of the season, in a tough 4th round matchup against Lorebass' Skink team, Canukistan Feircerest GeckOhs.

At 1410 TV, playing up against 1890, the Were were out-gunned and the odds were stacked against them. As they lined up for the starting whistle, the darkening sky brought forth heavy lashings of rain, as if to herald their downfall. Things didn't get off to a good start, when on the first turn after the Cats and Dogs kicked off, Werebear Funzo was dealt a near mortal blow by the Kroxigor Secund Beaver, his life only being saved by the diligence of the team apothecary. Despite their disadvantage, the Were fought hard in defense, harrying the Skinks and putting the ballcarrier under some pressure. On about turn 5, the Werewolf, Rowdeh Dawg!, managed to find an opening to the ballcarrying Skink and brought him down to spill the ball. On the Skink's following turn, Rowdeh performed magnificently, riding blocks from several Kroxigors and staying on his feet to make it hard for the Skinks to get control of the ball. The Werecat, Marmaduke, then had a great chance to snatch the ball and take the initiative for the Cats; however, he fluffed the pickup and the resulting bounce put it right where the GeckOhs wanted it, where they picked it up and ran it in to make it 1-0.

The Were were then very fortunate to roll a riot on their turn 8 kick-off, and had a great opportunity to even the score. However, the Skinks defended well and the Cats weren't able to find the dice they needed to make it happen.

The Were then received in at the start of the second and were quickly put under pressure by the GeckOhs. Finding it hard to deal with the nimble skinks and the prehensile tails, they were forced into making a critical mistake, which left their ballcarrier completely exposed. The GeckOhs seized the ball and looked almost certain to score the winner. Fortunately for the Were though, they managed to scramble back and defend, blitzing the ballcarrying skink to the floor. After some back-and-forth maneuvers, the Skinks again looked sure to score the winner, when, amazingly, the skink, Deliciousness x2, fumbbled the pickup in the endzone(!). The ball bounced out of bounds and the throwback landed in a very nice spot for the Cats. They managed to get the ball into the hands of Rowdeh Dawg!, who sprinted towards the endzone and looked certain to score an equalizer. However, the Skinks again defended very well, managing to put two tackle zones on Rowdeh. All he needed was to 2D blitz through a chameleon skink and the equalizer would be in sight. However, he made a mess of the blitz, rerolling into a double skull, and wasting his chance. Following that, the GeckOhs quickly locked down the ball and held it to seal the win, 1-0.

Thanks for a very fun and crazy game, Lorebass. I think both teams played well and it could have gone either way, but the lizards won out this time. I'm sure we will meet again soon Smile

"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz

Joined: Aug 20, 2014

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 17:12 Reply with quote Back to top

The previous and following match report brought to you by Khorney Jokes
Khorney Jokes, slaughtering Cats and Dogs like it's going out of style

Mr. Licksy, Raining Cats and Dogs' Player of the Game killed by rabid fanboy on turn 12.

After stealing the ball and expertly launching it to Rowdeh to score in the first half, Licksy looked to have once again played well beyond his talents to seal an easy win for his team.

A moment later, a diehard fan was seen leaving the sideline's with the cat's head tucked under his jersey. Many fans in attendance were stunned to see a blatant reenactment of the Flealena concert murder, when the once in a life time singing sensation Flealena was killed by a crazed fan on stage.

In other news, Star Player Tweedledee was blatantly murdered by an Assassin by the name of Kreme'd Khorne, who later signed a permanent, lifetime contract with the opposing team, after carrying out the hit in the opening moments of the second half.

After a deep kick of an illegally spiked ball put Twinkletoes to sleep, the Khorne team took the opportunity to down, surround, and then murder Tweedledee in cold blood.

If you ask me, the only travesty in this case was that the killer was not named MVP. In the end, the match ended in a 1-1 tie, leaving both teams unbeaten going into week 4.”


“Was a good and eventful game. In the first half, with his team down several players and his back against the wall, surrounded by half the Khorne team, Mr. Licksy managed to pull off an amazing play. Donning the magic Fawndough's Headband, he deftly dodged past several Khorne players and laid down a fantastic long pass to Rowdeh Dawg, who had broken free of his marker and was in the clear to score.

The Cats & Dogs took the initiative, going in 1-0 up at the half and receiving at the start of the second. However, things didn't go quite to plan when Twinkletoes got KO-ed on the first turn, after clumsily fumbling the spiked ball on the pickup. Losing players fast, the Were managed to fight and dodge their way into a commanding position, when everything suddenly fell apart. Despite only needing a 3+ dodge (with reroll) to achieve a very likely surf on Khorne Tortilla II, the blitzing wolf tripped, leaving Mr. Licksy horribly exposed near the edge of the pitch. Unfortunately for him, the crowd were a little too ravenous today, and brutally tore him limb from limb, after he had been shovelled off the side of the pitch by the Khorne team.

With only a few cats left, it was an easy job for the Khorne team to walk the ball in to seal a 1-1 draw.

Joined: Mar 11, 2012

Post   Posted: Feb 01, 2018 - 22:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Kadrin Doom is undefeated this season so far /flex. Crazy what decent rolls can get you. Didnt have very high hopes for the team, just wanted to have fun.

Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Feb 05, 2018 - 03:31 Reply with quote Back to top

@Buu88: Slayers are a good team Dude. Seems like you're handling them pretty well. But ... are they ready to face the big boys in the final playoffs? Wink

"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz

Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: Feb 05, 2018 - 04:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Raining Cats and Dogs faced their second defeat of the season last night (and second defeat in a row), in a very tough game against Sigmar1's Daemons of Slaanesh, Ecstasy and Agony.

It was always going to be a hard match, playing up 300-odd TV against a top coach with a healthy team that has featured in the final playoffs in the first two SLA seasons. Anyway, the cats gave it their best shot and came away with their heads held high.

The Slaanesh received first and set up a holding position in the middle of the pitch. Mistress of Razors failed to find anything better than a push on her first couple of blitzes (a pattern that would stick for most of the game). After tussling for 2 or 3 turns in the middle of the pitch, the Slaanesh made a break for it down the left flank. However, the cunning Were spotted a chink in their formation, which allowed the star player, Setekh, a blitz on the ballcarrier. Using his Strip Ball, he managed to dislodge the ball, sending it bouncing into the crowd. The resulting throw in landed deep in the Were half at the feet of several of their players. Things were suddenly looking good for the cats, until Sigmar's Greater Daemon, Deves'tatyll, blitzed through to snatch the ball. It seemed as if nothing would be able to prevent the towering daemon from scoring; however, the werewolf, Rowdeh Dawg!, tried his luck with a -2db blitz anyway and amazingly managed to roll a pow/defender stumbles. The monster crashed down hard and again it looked as if the Were might seize the initiative, as the ball bounced loose. However, the Slaanesh, fast, nimble and backed up by the hypnotizing daemonettes, dashed through to again secure the ball. However, yet again, the Were refused to give in and Setekh managed to pull off another amazing blitz to spill the ball for a third time. However, again, the cats were unable to get it under control and, on the last turn of the half, the Mistress of Barbs didn't have too much difficulty collecting the ball and running it in for the score.

On turn 8 of the first, the Were might have had a chance for a 1TTD, if not for the fact that the Slaanesh rolled a perfect defense on the kickoff, which denied them the opportunity.

So, the Were received at the start of the second with a big job to do. The Slaaneshi good fortune with the kick-off results continued, with them rolling a Blitz!, which could have effectively ended the game. However, the kick was deep and they were unable to reach it. Still, the Were's first two turns were not very kind and they found themselves under pressure early from the speedy daemons and their hypno gaze. On turn 3, the daemons used their gazes to expose the ballcarrying cat, but Barbs was unable to find a pow to bring Twinkletoes down. At this point, the daemons had committed to surging forward and the cats sensed it was their chance to get behind their line. With some favourable blitzing and dodging, Twinkletoes handed it off to Johnny Five, who ran the ball deep into the Slaanesh half. The Slaaneshi tried to scramble back, but were just too late to prevent the TD.

The Daemons received with 4 turns to play and by this point were surely favorites to win the match. The Were defended valiantly and, at one point, Rowdeh Dawg! had an outside chance to blitz the ballcarrying daemonette. However, he tripped and the daemons made it 2-1 on the final turn. On their last turn, the Were again had an outside chance for a 1TTD; however, Setekh failed to roll a push and that was it.

Thanks for a good and hard fought game, Sig. Amazingly, very few injuries were scored, even with all the AV7 and Tackle/MB. Slaanesh wasn't happy with the lack of carnage, but should at least be pleased with the result Smile

"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz

Joined: Jun 04, 2010

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 16:41 Reply with quote Back to top

With 2 games to go, the only way that Kzarik's rats wouldn't walk into the division title is if I got 2 consecutive wins while they somehow lost both games against teams 500k down. After Two and a Half Elves went 0-0 against Darkwood Dwellers, Kzarik has officially clinched the division.

The game started with Darkwood kicking; finster5 tried to leverage his ST advantage by going all in with a strong line, and was rewarded for his pains by getting 2 of his 3 remaining zoats knocked out right away. With such an amazing start the elves were feeling confident, but the skulls and 1s started flowing fast and furiously for both sides and nobody on either side could get much done. The half elves tried to charge up the sideline but the zoats were just too fast for them and they got pinned down. Erendiel Johnson muffed a Sure Hands sideline pickup and got surfed; Eldariel Williams managed to scoop up the ball and dodge out courtesy of a well-placed pie, but Darkwood sprung their pit trap card and got the ball loose again. The half elves went into murder mode with a couple quick casualties and managed to bottle up most of the remaining zoats with a catcher in scoring position by turn 6, but their rerolls were long gone and with their thrower out they just couldn't get the rolls to pick up the ball and get it downfield.

The second half started with the zoats doing what zoats do best: fumbling pickups! With both teams at 9 players, the zoats just didn't have the manpower to stop the half elves from charging the backfield and getting on the ball. Several times they managed to scoop it up and get into scoring position, but they didn't have the manpower to screen the ball either--and zoats don't really care about screens anyhow. The last third of the game saw the elves making a series of increasingly desperate lunges at the ball while the zoats locked it down with more and more big guys on the ball, demonstrating why Darkwood handily leads the league in drawn games.

Overall it was a fun, frantic, chaotic mess of a game. Definitely one of the more fun 0-0 matches I've played. The half elves are still bashing above their weight and managed to win the casualty war 3-2 despite a strength deficit. A feat which I commemorated by finally adding the team's first Mighty Blow to Theolophon Roberts, thereby ensuring he will never actually score any more casualties.

Joined: Aug 13, 2008

Post   Posted: Feb 19, 2018 - 03:10 Reply with quote Back to top

The Ecstasy and Agony finished out the inaugural Upper Tier competition by beating the Knights of the Precious Blood 2-0. They remained undefeated in the Upper Tier and continuous holders of Bejewelled, Fur-lined, Half-brassiere of Studmandudebro thru the entirety of SLA seasons two AND three.

To put some icing on that cake, Mistress of Thorns reached Star and statted up a second +ST! In addition to the team's Keeper of Secrets, Devas'tatyll, Harbinger of Vengeance (who remains cas-less in eleven matches!), the Agony now feature TWO ST5 Claw demons.

Now, off to the Playoffs as the presumed number one seed.

Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!
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