| Poll |
| KPL |
| Oh, yeah, Iam in. |
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46% |
[ 70 ] |
| Iam outta here |
|
17% |
[ 26 ] |
| PIE: is this a pointless poll or what? |
|
36% |
[ 54 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 150 |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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 Posted:
Jun 04, 2015 - 23:13 |
 
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Tomb King Settra sits on his golden throne. He is very annoyed and wishes to inflict bodily harm on the first minion that approaches him.
His wait is not long.
A red shirted minion from the dungeon comes running up to the throne, bows and hands the king a message from the internet dungeon that Rah-ma has spent millions of gold crowns on.
Settra reads the message and rips it 14 ways.
"What does this mean? CPOMB nerfs?"
"Well my King, there are other leagues that are attempting to attract coaches by offering nerfs and alternate ways to play Blood Bowl."
"What da hell? Why would some one wish to gimp this most glorious game?"
"Well my King, the rabble do not have the stomach for a high CAS rate offered by traditional, manly and kingly Blood Bowl. They wish to play a softer more gentle nature of the game."
Faster than a striking lightning bolt Tomb King Settra's back hand strikes, the offending Red shirt's head is sent flying 78 ft. across the throne room. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 05, 2015 - 01:28 |
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KPL playoffs are looming on the horizon.
The pinnacle of league play playoffs and awesomeness. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 05, 2015 - 01:34 |
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The onlookers in the crowded back alley in the slum district part like the red sea as Tomb King Settra marches with his imperial guard to the front door of some low rent back alley dive. The HQ of the Blood Bowl team, Blood of the Prophet. It has been used for the last 2 months as a temple to the prophet.
Settra looks around and wonders how many of these rabble have converted? Maybe he should just kill the lot of them and let Old Gods sort them out.
Settra’s mind is brought back to the present by a loud roar and the sounds of broken furniture in the dive. A severed head comes rolling out of the front door, the head of a vampire.
Settra kicks the rolling head down the alley, a pack of stray dogs picks it up and the head vanishes into the slums like all the other trash.
Settra pulls out his mighty two handed sword, nods to his guards and they rush into the temple of the Prophet, CARNAGE!!!!!
The prophets followers are all dismembered, hacked into little kibble bits, blood all over the floor and walls. Sitting on a alter at the far side of the common room is a mutant of extreme proportions.
Coach Cowhead has drank too much blood from the prophet and he has mutated into a slug looking creature, tentacles all around him, razor claws for fingers, his eyes are dark red and ooze blood.
Cowhead raises his head and looks at Settra, a smile forms on his deformed, mutated face. He stands up and charges Settra and his guards.
The rablle outside hear what sounds like a titanic thrown down of epic proportions. Bricks are starting to crack in the walls, the foundation seems to be moving as if a earthquake is happening. The Rabble starts to back away from the low rent dive, in fear of their lives.
Suddenly the wall explodes and coach Cowhead comes flying through the brick and mud wall, crashing into the alley. Tentacle are severed off, he has multiple slash wounds on his chest and one of his arms has been severed and just dangling on his side.
With puma like reflexes Settra leaps through the hole. His sword moving so fast it is just a blur. Cowhead stands up before settra and charges, they lock in place. Settra using his Demi God strength to push Cowhead backwards, he crashes against the wall across the small alley, the bricks crack, the wall is about to collapse. Settra advances and impales Cowhead on his sword, his body goes all the way to the hilt, Settra moves the blade sideways and cuts Cowheads bloated, disgusting, mutated body in HALF.
The two parts flop in the alley and then stop. A green ooze, like acid is eating up the cobble stone path.
Cowhead, wannbe Lt. of the Prophet, lays there dead, mutated and damned for all eternity in HELL.
Rah-ma comes up to Settra, holding what looks like a chalice, markings of the prophet on its side.
“My King, it is what you and I feared. The offering cup for the blood is laced with warpstone. There are traces of it at the bottom. My priests will analyze the warpstone but I suspect this is not from the north. Its source is much closer. You can see the pink and yellow flakes in the warpstone, look right here, this is interesting.”
Settra looks at Rah-ma and gives him a irritated look
“yes, rah-ma, very interesting to a alchemist or an “egg head”. I do not need someone to tell me that warpstone comes from the fortress of Nagash.”
Farther down the alley the Prophet and his minnions sneak back into the crowd.
“That idiot Cowhead. Such a fool, now Settra knows of our plans. We must win the KPL championship or else our sponsor will be very displeased. His anger most likely means our deaths my friends. We must redouble our efforts.” |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 20:21 |
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END OF SEASON #4 IS THURSDAY NIGHT, MORNING OR WHEN SETTRA GETS BORED AND JUST HITS THE BIG BUTTON TO END THIS THING.
So, if you still care about making the post season I would suggest you make at minimum a feeble attempt to finish your last game of the season. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 22:26 |
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Current Standings in the KPL headed into the Playoffs
Reminder on the playoff format.
#1 and #2 seeds in each conference get a BYE
#4 VS #5: winner takes on the #1 seed
#3 VS #6: Winner takes on the #2 seed
NFC: Europe Conference
#1 Zandri Scurvy Dogs (Necro: Prophet
#2 Numas Nummulites (Khemri: Settra)
#3 Quatar Nobnibblers (Necro: Prophet)
#4 Beremas Bone Shakers (Khemri: Settra)
#5 Lahmia Impalers (Vampire: Settra)
#6 Bhagar Dune Raiders (Khemri: Settra)
KFC: North America
#1 Ka-Sabar Bedouin (Undead: Settra)
#2 Quatar Heretics (Khemri: Prophet)
#3 Rasetra Reavers (Khemri: Settra)
#4 Lybaras Wolves: (Necro: Settra)
#5 Numas Night Terrors (vampire: Settra)
#6 Ka Sabar Conquerors (Undead: prophet)
So, that is where we stand right now.
Going into the Playoffs here are some Factoids
Bedouin have won the KPL twice (Undead)
Heretics have won the KPL once (Khemri)
Both of those teams play in the KFC
Nobnibblers have been the runner up in all 3 KPL championship matches from the NFC: Eruope (Necro).
So I leave you with this question. Since Necro have never won the KPL are they chumps in this format
? Or is it the coaching of the necro teams that is the problem?
** Note**
The rules for Playoffs was amended in the KFC due to so many drop out. That is why we will have 2 undead and the one necro team in the playoffs. |
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WhatBall
Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 22:40 |
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Do the bye games get a click through to reg players? Can't remember from past playoffs. Thanks. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 22:41 |
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| WhatBall wrote: | | Do the bye games get a click through to reg players? Can't remember from past playoffs. Thanks. |
They do not
Only click through game is the preseason match before kick off of new season. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 22:51 |
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WhatBall
Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2015 - 23:31 |
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Thanks, thought that was the case. I will live without my blitzer it seems. Gitka's strength bit him in the ass, playing ST2 for part of the second half.  |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 12, 2015 - 23:52 |
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KPL Season #4 Playoffs are set!!!
Let the battle begin to see which team can battle its way to the top and claim the trophy, glory, fame and the coveted Elixir of Immortality!!!!!!
Over in the NFC the Dune Raiders were knocked out of the playoffs on a last day forfeit by the Outlaws and the Tomb Guardians move up to the 5th seed in the playoffs and send the Dune Raiders back out into the desert to pound the sand.
Dune Raiders got nobody but themselves to blame, they spit the bit in the last week and blew it on a quad skull at the key moment of the game.
Playoffs are set, all the optional rules for regular season play are in effect for the playoffs. Good luck, kill, maim and destroy all before you!!!! |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 12, 2015 - 23:59 |
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KPL Playoff Teams by Seed in the tournament
KFC: North America
#1 Ka Sabar Bedouin (Undead)
#2 Quatar Heretics (Khemri)
#3 Ra Settra Reavers (Khemri)
#4 Lybaras Wolves (Necro)
#5 Ka Sabar Conquerors (Undead)
#6 Numas Night Terror (Vampire)
NFC: Europe
#1 Zandri Scruvy Dogs (Necro)
#2 Numas Nummulites (Khemri)
#3 Quatar Nobnibblers (Necro)
#4 Beremas Boneshakers (Khemri)
#5 Barnsley Tomb Guardians (Khemri)
#6 Lahmia Impallers (Vamp) |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Jun 13, 2015 - 00:07 |
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NOBNIBBLERS!~ |
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Beerox
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 13, 2015 - 01:37 |
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| PainState wrote: | | ...they spit the bit in the last week and blew it on a quad skull at the key moment of the game... |
Sounds dirty. You're creeping me out, to be honest. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 24, 2015 - 19:49 |
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KPL playoffs are off the chain now!!!!
** Breaking news from the KPL **
Ka Sabar Bedouin: Defending Champion, undefeated in regular season play is DECIMATED!!!!! Taken down by the Lybaras Wolves. The Bedouin were going for back to back championships and battling their way for their 3rd KPL championship trophy. DENIED!!!!!!
Over in the NFC the Quatar Nobnibblers, 3 time runner up, LOSER, in the KPL championship match has had their streak ended by the Nummulites. Accusations of a itching powder laced magic codpiece were thrown around after the match. Coach Pythrr was very agitated as this low down trick had his star wolf rubbing and scratching his crotch to open up the match and did not see the blind side chainsaw blow that sent him to the BH box on the opening turn of the match.
So, now that the two power house teams of the first 3 seasons have been vanquished what does that leave us?
Well in the NFC we have the new and upcoming necro team the Scurvy Dogs and they will take on the Nummulites, a up and coming Khemri team that has been taking names and numbers all season. So we have Necro VS Khemri in the NFC finals.
Over in the KFC we have the wolves, necro, waiting to see who wins between the Heretics, winners of KPL season #2 and the new hotness in Vampire teams the Night Terrors. It should be a close match and a lot of fun.
As we get closer and closer to the KPL championship UNDEAD has been sent packing and possibly 2 Khmeri teams could be in the conference finals. Barring those Vamps rising up it is looking like a Necro/Khemri final in both brackets.
Heretics are looking to win the KPL once more and become our second two time champion.
Right now in the KPL Undead have 2 championships and Khemri has won one of them. IS this the time that Necro finally live up to all the bitching and moaning all the crying and wailing from the masses that they are to OP for the lowly chumps of the KPL?
Only 4 matches left in the KPL season #4 all 4 of them should be gripping affairs of drama, blood and the glorious sound of a Chainsaw revving in the background.
Also what is at stake is the pride of the Euro coaches. 3 Times the KPL has handed out the Championship trophy and all 3 times those Yanks over in the KFC have run off with the prize. Can the Euros finally buck up and make a stand? actually win the KPL and bring the Trophy back across the pond? Because it seems the KPL Championship trophy belongs to the North Americans.
DO NOT MISS ANY OF THESE MATCHES!!!! |
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badger89
Joined: Jun 03, 2014
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| Posted:
Jun 24, 2015 - 23:33 |
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Anyone got the link to Khemri Premier League: KPL Season #4: Chat, fluff please. |
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