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Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: May 24, 2017 - 12:59 Reply with quote Back to top

Corbis and Kondor rode in the luggage wagon of the caravan as it bounced and thumped along the rutted dirt road that would lead the team back to Avelon. The Archers of Avelon had just concluded successful four match road trip and everyone was looking forward to comfortable beds and familiar faces.

Corbis could not restrain his curiosity any longer. “How did you choose these matches? They worked out but the choices were odd to say the least. I can’t even pronounce three of the team names. Fish Sauce Fried, Minor Surgery, Caustic Dregs, and Passing Pharaohs? That last one cannot be correct. I’ve never seen a skeleton throw the ball.”

Kondor laughed. “They were all from different countries with different languages. I have no idea how they should be translated. I think the first three are wrong, but the last one is correct. You got it confused because the lizard that coaches the skeletal team has a thick accent.”

While it was clear that he did not agree and equally clear that Kondor was not going to answer the question, Corbis decided to change the topic slightly.

“The elves played well this stretch. They even had a shot at beating the Dregs until Nuffle stepped in.” he said.

“Nuffle had nothing to do with it.” Kondor replied. “They earned the wins and the loss. I hate to say it but they are playing pretty well. The worst thing is that the opponents couldn’t really even hurt one of them. Sure Throthradir and Maylin missed a game but what did that accomplish? Here I thought I found some suitably nasty teams but all of the elves are still walking. Not even a pack of skeletons could foul anyone into retirement. Corbis….Sometimes I feel like I am losing my touch… that I am failing at my job.”

The old gnome did not know what to say. He had been successful at everything he set his hand to. Kondor leaned back against the wall of the wagon and closed his eyes in thought. Maybe. Just maybe. Things would change in the next game or two.

3-0 win vs Chaos https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3900659

2-1 win vs Dwarfs https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3900949

3-0 win vs Khemri https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3901243

2-1 Loss vs Chaos Dwarfs https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3901952

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: May 25, 2017 - 09:04 Reply with quote Back to top

The atmosphere in the clubhouse was electric. The Reikland Reavers were coming for a match in Avelon Stadium. Tickets to the match had sold out in hours. Today the Archers of Avelon would have a chance to play one of the most storied teams in Blood Bowl history.

In the background, Arcane Fire could be heard playing the Reaver theme song signaling that the visitors had taken the field. The elves took a moment to help their neighbors by checking to see that their shoulder pads and breastplates were securely fastened, but more importantly their hair was perfectly done and ready for the cameras. They lined up in the tunnel to the field and at the signal of the band rushed to take their places on the home team sideline.

Kondor and Corbis followed. The roar of the crowd was deafening, and Corbis was having difficulty concentrating on the opposing roster. Once the opening kickoff was in the air he voiced his concerns to Kondor.

“Something is not right here. This says the Reavers have less than 100 games to their record.”

Kondor answered flippantly as he watched the match. “It has to be an error. Just add a zero to each figure in the win loss and draw columns.”

Corbis was not convinced. The shade of the uniforms was slightly darker than he had seen in the Cabalvision games. Then there was the roster. The names were “Mighty Zug” and “Surehanded Gregor Meissen.” Who writes Mighty and Surehanded as part of the roster? Shouldn’t it just read Zug and Gregor Meissen? In fact, is Zug a first name, last name, or nick name? Reading the official roster should clear up that question.

“Kondor.” Said Corbis. “I think you have been duped. I don’t think these are THE Reikland Reavers.”

Kondor was startled and stooped to the gnome’s level to look him in the eyes. “No one has been duped. I don’t know if these are THE Reikland Reavers or not. Look in the stands. They are filled beyond capacity. This game is bringing a fortune. The league signed off and sanctioned the game. As far as I am concerned, these guys are legitimate.”

As he said that, “Griff Oberwald” was knocked off the field and lay stunned at their feet. A quick look showed that this guy still had most of his teeth, and his nose could not have been broken more than twice in his life.

Corbis shrugged. “Who knew Griff was so well preserved.” He said to Kondor as the Reaver medic squad loaded the star onto their gurney. “For your sake, I sure hope these are the Reikland Reavers.”

Kondor looked at the scoreboard which read 2-0 in favor of the Archers. With that in mind he was not sure how he felt about the Reikland.Reavers.


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: May 25, 2017 - 11:07 Reply with quote Back to top

At the Shining Bauble, Corbis and Kondor sat at the bar with their favorite adult beverages in hand. The match against the Norsican Norsemen had gone the way of the Archers and they gathered to celebrate. However, they would do so without their team captain Revwe due to the fact that an Ulfwerenar had nearly killed her. She was laid up in the infirmary with a cracked and swollen skull. The good news was that she would be able to return to the pitch. The bad news was that there was no way her swollen head would ever fit into a Blood Bowl helmet again.

Kondor continued a conversation with the team apothecary Corbis. “The coach calls himself ‘Antithesis of Time.’ He’s a good chap and he always seems to have a team ready for a match. We have probably faced each other fifteen times and you never quite know how it is going to shake out. Last time we met, his chaos squad dropped four on my goblins…you know…the Pocket Hulks. So, anyway, there was a good chance his team would give the Archers a thumping.”

Corbis had been only half listening to Kondor and did not much care who won any of the matches. “Antithesis of Time? What does that even mean?” He quickly regretted that he had asked the question.

“Great question Corbis.” Said Kondor. “To ask what is the opposite of time you have to ask what time is, and that is not easily answered.

Time is to some extent a construction of the human mind. Our minds interpret the universe in a certain way and to us time is a flowing continuous movement from the past into the future. Take for example this definition. Time is a human perception defined as the length of an interval separating two points on a nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future. The intervals are measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, years.

Therefore, at the level of theoretical physics and mathematics time has different meanings but even physicists have difficulty with time as this liitle joke illustrates: A man who has lost his watch walks up to a stranger on the street and asks, "Please, Sir, what is time?" The stranger replies, "I'm sorry, you'll have to ask a philosopher. I'm just a physicist."

So with this in mind, I'm not certain we can truly define time, so perhaps for the opposite of time we must turn to some Zen philosophy and simply state that the opposite of time is no-time.”

Corbis just stared with crossed eyes at Kondor. A throbbing had begun deep in his skull and only a large bottle of alcohol was going to make it go away. Ironically, with that large bottle of alcohol, his addle brain my come to believe that it understood what Kondor had just said.

“Couldn’t you just tell me the coach is another necromancer?” asked Corbis.

Kondor laughed. “That is exactly what he is. He thinks that he will outlast time itself. Foolish really but he is a good coach and more interesting to chat with than most people. I asked him once what the Antithesis of Time was and he told me what I told you. I still have no clue what he meant so when you figure it out please explain it to me. Or you can ask him to explain it next time I schedule a game against him.”

Corbis took a long swallow of clear potent liquid.

“No.” he said. “I think I will just take your word for it.”

2-1 win vs Norse https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3902507

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 17, 2017 - 11:28 Reply with quote Back to top

Good evening Archer fans and welcome to the post game show. My name is Rhys 'Sidearm' Gilrois and I am accompanied by one of the original Archers Neesha Aludra. So let's just jump into an analysis of the travesty of a match you just watched. It was awful! Somehow, the Archers simply did not show up to play. Considering the fact that they were playing the former E.L.F. Champion Slim Chance Brigade, the effort was inexcusable. The 3-1 score is sure to give the Brigade an advantage in this E.L.F season. Neesha, what are your thoughts?

I concur Sidearm. There is simply no way to spin this one. It was a full domination and it is something Archer fans have rarely had foisted upon them. The 3-1 scoreboard is bad enough, but having lowly city elves kill a pair of your rookies and seriously injure one of your team stars is completely unacceptable.

Neesha, how much of this debacle can be attributed to the fact that the team captain, Revwe, was not on the field today?

None Rhys. Unfortunately none at all. This should fully be attributed to the Slim Chance Brigade imposing their will and bullying the Archers all game long. The archers were sent to the casualty section of the sideline more often than goblins during a dwarf game. At least in those matches the goblins will at least bring a saw or some bombs to keep the dwarfs at bay. No. This is indefensible.

But Neesha, some fans may point to Nienna Neharma as a bright spot in the match. She registered the 100th pass completion of her career. That should amount to something.

I suppose Rhys. But Sidearm, Nienna is a great player. If she had not hit the completion mark today, it would have come at some point. Besides, 100 completions does not even put her on the top 10 active high elf thrower list. Get back to me when she puts up another 100.

I think you are just bitter about the match Nienna. 100 passes puts her in the to 15 high elf passers of all time. There is no limit to her potential.

You may be right Rhys. At least we get to see Kondor and Nienna sporting new tattoos for the next match, and Revwe will be back on the field. I also expect Revwe will order the team to a week of two-a-day practices. That alone should motivate better performance.

I think you are right Nienna. The Archers will bounce back. Well, we are out of time for this segment. Thanks to all the Archer fans for joining us today. Join us next week when the Archers take the field against Nachtogen's chaos team Cult of Shadows. It is sure to be a match to remember. Until then, so long Archer Stadium and remember not to take strange smelling sandwiches from halflings you don't know.”

3-1 loss to Slim Chance Brigade https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3902668


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 19, 2017 - 11:32 Reply with quote Back to top

“After practice, Revwe called a meeting of the Archer Kill Team to discuss the upcoming “game.”

“As you know, Kondor has booked a match against the Cult of Shadow.” Revwe began. “This is no coincidence. To most of the Old World, the Cult of Shadow is a legendary yet moderately successful team with a healthy fan following. However, I am here to tell you that the rumors are true. The Cult of Shadow is an assassin guild with the audacity to declare their existence to the world through a Blood Bowl Team. This means that tonight’s match will be particularly treacherous. They will play to win tonight in order to keep their cover, but be warned, if you give them an opportunity they will kill you.

Luckily for us, every one of them has a bounty on their head. For example, the Killer of Queensbury will be on the field, as will the Stalker of Lamont. Through my source, I have established a value for each head, and a mechanism for payment through back channels. This is a chance for the Kill-Team to make a very public statement as bounty hunters.”

Nienna spoke up. “It is a chaos team. Are they beastmen?”

Revwe shook her head in response. “No. You will know their rank based on the furs they wear, but they are mostly men. The ‘Minotaur’ is an ogre draped in a mino pelt with a horned helm, and the ‘beastmen’ are neophyte assassins in skins and horned helmets.”

A few hours later, both teams took the field with murder on their minds. The Archers were very aware of the dangers they faced and did a fair job avoiding the Cult’s slashing blades and punishing gauntlets. Yet, their caution opened too many opportunities on the field. As a result, the Archers could manage no better than a draw resulting in understandable jeering from the crowd.

Still, not all was lost. The assassins did not realize the dangers they faced. More than once they dropped their guard while playing the ball, and the Kill-Team did not hesitate. Revwe lead the way. As the assassin called Grizzly Bear screened the ball carrier, she saw an opening and smoothly slid a stiletto blade between his ribs. Expertly placed, the assassin knew exactly what had happened. As he slumped to the ground he nodded to his foe in acknowledgment of a job well done.

Yet it was Throthradir that would collect the largest purse of the day. The lightly armored catcher looked like an easy target for the frenzied “Minotaur” named Rottweiler. As the ogre lowered his head to utilize his makeshift horns, Throthradir expertly side stepped the blow and buried a blade in the fellow’s midsection. This kill was not clean. The ogre writhed in agony knocking the medic unconscious that had been sent to tend his wounds.

When the final horn sounded to end the game both teams left the field unsatisfied with the result. However, while the Cult of Shadows was now shorthanded, The Archers of Avelon were a bit richer. At least the entire Old World had seen the match. With any luck, the result would bring further contracts to the Archer’s doorstep.

1-1 Tie vs Cult of Shadow - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3902782

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 20, 2017 - 12:24 Reply with quote Back to top

The Archers of Avelon wagon train rolled into the city center of Ladriford on a sweltering summer afternoon and came to a stop in front of the pub and inn simply called Paddy’s. The owner of the establishment was the Blood Bowl coach called Paddy Mick. On the morrow, they were schedule to meet his Causeway Giants on the pitch. However, tonight they were scheduled for some polite conversation with their future opponents over dinner and drinks.

The wagon train had arrived early so the Archers rested in their rooms before descending to join their hosts. As the Archers entered the room, the four Giants stood to greet their guests. Dressed in formal attire each extended a hand to the Archers and welcomed them to Ladriford. With formalities out of the way each found their assigned seat at an appropriately ogre sized table with ogre sized plates and cutlery.

From a side entrance to the ballroom, the host, Paddy Mick entered with the other guest of honor.

“Archers of Avelon, allow me to introduce you to the illustrious Morg.” He said.

“We’ve met.” Stated Morg abruptly and he moved to the head of the table.

Paddy looked a bit confused so Meldalf spoke up as he was the nearest elf. “Morg took the field against us twice. Our record against him is 1-1-0.”
Paddy took his own seat at the table and addressed Kondor. “For the game tomorrow, will there be standard weapon rules?”

Revwe answered. “He does not speak for the Archers. No. There will be no weapons at the match. An ogre dagger is equivalent to an elf sword, and an ogre mace is several times as deadly as any elven weapon. No weapons. Ogre fists are formidable enough.”

Kondor grimaced, and Paddy nodded.

Dinner opened with runts serving a first course of roasted terrier followed by a second serving of grilled stallion on a bed of greens. Morg quickly became frustrated with the cutlery while the others at the table sipped their chosen adult beverage and enjoyed a salad of leeks and rhubarb. Giving up, he dropped the utensils to the floor and picked the steak up with both hands.

Nienna glanced across the table at Giant Team Captain Wilhelm and blinked in astonishment.

“Mr. Wanderer.” She said, “You simply must provide me with the name of your manicurist.”

Wilhelm chuckled. “I tell you what. If we both survive tomorrow’s game, I will introduce you to my pedicurist as well. That runt is a master with a grinder.”

Desert turned out to be the top portion of the meal. It was a crème brule smorgasbord with the dairy for the crème provide by buffalo Paddy lovingly milked himself each morning.

By the time the night ended, the game was forgotten. No one cared that the Archers would win the match, or that the injury caused to Ortalion would cause her to miss her first game in 75 matches. No one would even care that Kydeth’s two scores would raise her to legendary status among the fans.

What mattered was that a friendship and perhaps a rivalry had been formed….. Oh, and the Archers were still undefeated vs Morg.
3-0 win vs ogres - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3903552

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 21, 2017 - 09:33 Reply with quote Back to top

The Archers left Ladriford early in the morning a couple of days after the match against the Causeway Giants. Ortalion and Maylin each nursed serious injuries and would not be able to play in the next match. Still, that had to be expected after a game against ogres.

Fortunately, this road trip was well planned. From Ladriford, the team would travel to the coastal city of Philly Yelphia, and then on to Mangurraine. Philly fancied itself as a resort city where the wealthy could enjoy the beauty of the sea. The sun seemed to shine every day except game days.

However, this was not a natural phenomenon. Rather, the city leaders paid a wizard of the Violet Order significant gold to pool the sparse clouds. Several decades ago, Coach Ice Smooth had strolled into town with quartet of fellow vampires and a proposition. In exchange for a reasonable amount of gold, protection from vampire hunters, and thralls from the lower rungs of society, they would play professional Blood Bowl for the tourists. As the vampires wanted their nights free for their own nocturnal activities, most games were scheduled during the day thus necessitating the wizard.

Several miles from Philly, the convoy made a scheduled stop and picked up an unusual traveler. While in Ladriford, Kondor received word that Zara the Slayer was in the area and looking for an excuse to go to Philly Yelphia. He immediately dispatched a courier with a contract and instructions to meet the team outside of the city. Now, Zara climbed into the baggage cart with Kondor and handed him the signed contract.

“Thanks Kondor. This is another favor I owe you.”

A few minutes later the caravan reached the guard station on the outskirts of the city. A tall, lanky, middle aged guard inspected the caravan. When he reached the baggage cart he immediately recognized the Slayer.

He addressed her directly. “Zara slayer, you are persona non grata within the city of Philly Yelphia. You may go no further.”

Kondor stepped in. “I am the coach of the Archers of Avelon and we have a binding contract with this individual to participate in the Blood Bowl match tomorrow. The city of Philly Yelphia has a contract with the Archers to play a Blood Bowl game tomorrow against this city’s professional team. Please inform your mayor that if all of my players are not allowed to participate I will file a complaint with the commissioner granting a forfeiture of the match by Sunny in Philly. I will further request that the city’s Blood Bowl charter be revoked.”

“Wait here.” Said the guard. “I will dispatch a courier and await instructions.”

Several hours later the courier returned with a message for the guard. After reading it several times he addressed Kondor and Zara.

“Zara Slayer, you will enter the city in my custody and under my care. You will not leave my sight, but you will be protected. You must leave all weapons outside of the city, and you will spend every moment until game time in the Philly Arena Dungeon. Do you agree to those terms?”

Zara nodded and held out her hands for the guard to fit her manacles. As he led her away she shouted back to the team. “See you at game time.”

When the game arrived, the entire Archer squad was shocked at how overhyped and ineffective Zara turned out to be. In this game Nienna was the force to reckon with. She started by hurting Charlie early in the match and sending him to the bench. Later she injured the behemoth Dennis and forced him to the showers early.

As the game wore on the Coach Ice Smooth became more and more vocal. He cursed Nuffle each time a vampire bit a thrall or could not beguile an archer. When Dennis was carted from the field he shook his fist at the clouds in the sky. On this day the Coach Ice Smooth was not as cool as ice.

When the final horn sounded to end the game, the Philly fans pummeled their own team with rocks as they retreated to the locker room.

Zara politely returned to the Archer bench where she met the same guard that had taken custody of her the previous day. The entire team was then escorted to the border where she retrieved her weapons.

Zara shook hands with each of the Archers as they prepared to part ways.

“Thanks for the contract.” She said. “Perhaps I will join you another time. But this time I will bring my stakes.”

2-1 win vs vampires Sunny in Philly - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3904380

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 22, 2017 - 08:30 Reply with quote Back to top

At the edge of the Mangurraine Forrest, a giant ruby finch stood on a moldering log cracking long legged snail shells to reach the delectable innards.

Nearby, Kondor quietly read the scroll the finch had delivered. The Archers had pulled off an unlikely win against the resident Chaos team and this was the first chance Kondor had to get away from the team and receive his ruby messenger.


SUBJECT: Official Dossier – Nimue “Kydeth” Sylstina

FOR: Client – Name Confidential

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Race – High Elf, Complexion – Pale, Hair – Blond, Eyes – Hazel, Height – 170 cm, Weight – 62 kg, Age – 143 years

BACKGROUND: Born in the elven port city of Ors Anore from the house Sylstina. Mother Eirina Sylstina and father Odresin Fairanin are successful merchants and the owners of at least 18 Icon Class trading vessels.

STORY: Kydeth was born to Eirina in the first year of the Decade of Tranquility. Her formative years were uneventful as she enjoyed the luxuries of a life brought to her in the holds of her parents’ ships arriving weekly from every corner of the world.

However, eventually she began yearning to ride the waves on the ships that came and went. In her forty eighth year she secretly arranged passage on one of her mother’s ships bound for the Cathian Islands. Onboard she fell in love with a ship hand named Wyn Valsys. They were married and soon they had a trio of elflings who traveled with them from port to port.

Unfortunately, Wyn was a sailor with a passion for strong drink and a temper to match. One evening, he and Kydeth had a domestic altercation that turned physical and he fell overboard while at sea. There was no moon that night and the ship’s crew was unable to find and rescue him.

Several years later, Kydeth met Goren Leodove in the human town of Castle Point. They too were married, and once again Kydeth produced a trio of offspring. Goren was a braggart who took pride in the fact only he had successfully swum the channel between Castle Point and New Bridgeland. Eventually, someone goaded him into proving it. When he tried to duplicate the feat, he drowned before reaching the mainland.

Eighteen years ago, Kydeth was once again living in Ors Anore with her parents and raising two small children. The three from her first marriage were grown and married themselves. Ors Anore is where she met Braern Lorajoen. A couple of years later they married and she has produced a pair of offspring for him.

Braern was the first mate on the trading vessel Magdala. With five children to rear, finances were tight. While Braern was at sea, Nimue took a job as a journeyman line elf for the Ors Anore Crusaders. She took the name of Kydeth to hide her involvement from her family.

It turned out that Kydeth was talented. The crusaders asked her to take a full time position with the team. When Braern returned to port, they decided the income was worth the risk. Two seasons ago she tried out for the Archers of Avelon and has quickly risen in status and ability. The financial success of the Archers brought a measure of financial stability to the family.

At the end of the last season, Kydeth purchased the Magdala and three smaller trading vessels. Mentored by her father Braern has proven to be a wise and steady businessman. He operates the business.

POINTS OF INTEREST: Few members of Kydeth’s family know that she is the legendary Archer of Avelon blitzer. She refuses interviews with the media, and on the field she wears a custom made helmet to obscure her features.
With strong family values and commitments at home, the analysis is that she is unlikely to play Blood Bowl much longer. Rather, once she determines that she does not need the game she will retire.

This analysis is strengthened by the fact that she is a devout pacifist. Having been suspected in the death of her first two husbands, she has striven to raise a peaceful façade and put the rumors to rest. Thus far, two players have died on the field at her hands as a natural consequence of the game. She personally paid for the funeral expenses of both individuals and gives generously to the Widow and Orphans Guild.

SCOUTING REPORT: At the time of this writing, this elf has no current weaknesses. In fact, she is the most agile member of the team. Additionally with her ability to leap into a fray she has proven to be a nightmare on defense as she regularly strips the ball free from the opponent. She is also on pace to be the first High Elf Blitzer to log 50 completions.

HOBBIES: As a dedicated mother with little free time, Kydeth came to the Archers with no hobbies to speak of. She has since picked up the bow but she shows no naturally ability or flare. Rather than shooting to kill, she shoots as a stress relief. She is an elf so most shots wind up near the bulls eye, but the grouping is sloppy and shows a lack of dedication.

When she is not with the team she travels with her younger children to visit her three grandchildren produced from the offspring of her first marriage.


Kondor folded the parchment and put it in his knapsack. He then placed payment for the intel in a small pouch and fixed it to the ruby finch which immediately flew towards home.

Kydeth. Mother of 8 and grandmother of three. With her body and skill at the game, the concept was simply unfathomable to him.


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 22, 2017 - 11:17 Reply with quote Back to top

On the way back to Avelon, the Archer Caravan detoured slightly to the town of Esbjerg. Kondor had heard a rumor that the legendary Coach Emphasy had put together a young orc squad and was entertaining challengers.
It was a chance Kondor could not miss.

“Who is this Emphasy fella?” querried Nopos. “Does he coach any teams I might have heard of?”

Kondor openly scoffed. “Who is Emphasy? Unbelievable! Do you watch any Blood Bowl that does not involve pointy ears? …. The guy has coached teams to nearly 5,000 wins. 1,000 orc games. 800 chaos games. 700 Human games. 500 Chaos Dwarf, 500 Necromancer, and 500 OGRE games. Who coaches Ogres and still maintains a respectable image?”

Nopos was unimpressed. “Then why haven’t I heard of him? Can’t be much to him.”

Kondor palmed his face and shook his head. “His specialty is taking scrubs and turning them into a real team. Once they have a strong foundation, he turns the reigns over to more….orthodox….coaches. Currently he does not coach any teams with 100 games under their cleats.”

Nopos shook his head unconvinced. “If you say so.”

In Esbjerg, Kondor asked the local sports journalist where he could find Coach Emphasy. He was directed to the leper colony situated in caves on the outskirts of town. A few moments later he stood on a boulder by the first cave and yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Coach Emphasy. Let’s Play BLOOOD BOWWLLLLL!”

Something stirred within the furthest cave and the handful of lepers outside of it scattered. The largest troll Kondor had ever seen lumbered out and came to the rock.

“Out of the way Kloggs.” Stated Kondor. “I came to see your boss.”

Kloggs looked at Kondor closely, shrugged and pointed to the cave.

Taking care to steer clear of the lepers, Kondor hustled to the cave where he found the orcs he had been looking for. The fact was that, while the humans would flock to watch a Blood Bowl match in the arena, they could not tolerate orcs within the city limits.

Coach Emphasy was a rather run of the mill orc. He was larger than a goblin but smaller than a black orc. His legs were strong but squat suggesting he was no runner, and his arms were not sculpted enough to be a thrower. In his playing days he had simply been a line orc with a passion for the game. Today he coached players that reminded him of himself.

Currently, in the dirt he was diagraming a complex two dodge, two block, hand-off and pass play. His orc pupils nodded understandingly.

Kondor waited patiently but finally spoke up. “I have brought some high elves to town. Care for a game?”

Emphasy did not even look up from his work. “Friday morning.” He said and gestured for Kondor to leave.

With the game scheduled Kondor returned to the stadium where the Archers were waiting.

On Friday, the Archers pulled off an unlikely win, but Nopos found himself in a pine box.


2-1 Archers win over Orcs - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3905157

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 22, 2017 - 11:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Corbis came into Kondor’s office without knocking rambling incoherently.

The few words were slightly intelligible were “Conspiracy…Nightbreed….Bunny…Revenge….Badges.”

“Calm down Corbis. Tell me what is going on.” Kondor said.

The gnome took a large breath and said “The elves are going to make you Nightbreed’s Bunny, then at some point they will win one. Nightbreed gets the My Bunny badge, and then they get to tattoo you with the Revenge badge.”

“Nightbreed is 3-0 against me. He needs to win 10 in a row to beat me.” Kondor thought for a moment and shuddered before he spoke. “He could pull it off. I don’t think anyone else has ever won three straight against me. He could really pull it off. Corbis. We can’t let this happen!”

1-2 loss to Nightbreed's High Elves - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3905675

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 23, 2017 - 09:23 Reply with quote Back to top

The Avelon crowd was prepared to jeer and taunt the visiting skaven team, but as the visitors took the field the crowd was in stunned silence then they burst into a round of cheers. The fourteen rats galloped to the field astride massive alligators. As headgear they sported a variety of sombreros, ten gallon hats, and bandanas. They whooped and howled swinging lassos over head as they tormented the archer cheerleaders and hogtied a backup referee.

The Archers had been warned of the spectacle and chortled at the pregame entertainment. However they did so behind shoulder high concrete bunker that had been built specifically to keep any loose alligators at bay.

After conducting a number of roping and riding drills to warm up the Sewer Cowboys safely locked their mounts in holding pens and came to mid field for the coin toss.

Corbis could not help but wonder how a skaven would go about bridling and saddling the hungry reptiles.

As usual, Kondor pretty much ignored what was happening on the field and crossed the pitch to chat with his counterpart. He and Coach Rbthma had met in several encounters and each was memorable. In fact Rbthma was instrumental in helping Kondor earn the Griddled Fumbbl Badge.

“Hello Coach Robthorman.” Stated Kondor.

Rbthma smirked and shook his head.

“Rubthemen…Rubenthemar…Hubthumb…” Kondor tried but Rbthma simply shook it off.

“I know your name was Rabi Thomas!” Said Kondor.

Now Rbthma laughed heartily. A 12 year old lad at his side stood by his side to translate. “Sorry, you are not even close it is Rbthma” the lad tried to translate as the slurred speech mumble from a deformed jaw.

Kondor gave up for the moment. Rbthma is a rotter. In fact, it is possible that Rbthma is the oldest rotter in existence.

More than a century ago he had played for a High Elf team called the Hixelpuggers. He had the misfortune of playing against the Rotten Luck Rovers in an exhibition match. An unfortunate gouge from the teams’s Beast of Nurgle turned septic. Within hours it became clear that the future coach would soon be a mindless rotter.

But this elf would not quietly go to the Nurgle cesspool. As a young elf he had studied alchemy and medicine and in desperation he put together a conglomeration of chemicals. With the last of his strength he consumed the noxious liquid and ordered a friendly shaman to pull the tourniquet tightly around his neck.

It is not clear what exactly happened, but the coach woke up with the tourniquet still tightly in place and a solidified mass in his intestines. Over the years that followed, it became clear that the Nurgle Rot had been slowed considerably but not completely stopped or cured. Slowly the coach’s movements slowed to resemble that of an average rotter, but most frustrating was the loss of speech. The rot ate away at his tongue, jaw, and vocal cords until his speech was unintelligible to everyone except rotters and a hand-picked child trained to translate.

In the background, the game was underway and thankfully, the Archers were losing. Kondor nodded his approval. He noted that even though the Sewer Cowboys walked strangely, they were sure handed and skilled.

“So tell me Rabitharmer. Where did you get your new choker? Red leather and spikes suit you.” Said Kondor.

The rotter coach’s hand went to his throat and pointed to town. On the field a horn signaled a third Cowboy score. Kondor listened politely and tried to understand the explanation he was given. Kondor glanced at the translator who haplessly shrugged. Kondor nodded and when Rbthma’s mumbling stopped he found a way out of the conversation.

“Well, I may have to go there and get one for myself. Congratulations on the win. I look forward to our next match.”

Rbthma waved goodbye and Kondor headed back to his own sideline only detouring slightly to avoid the alligators.


3-2 loss to the Sewer Cowboys - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3905983

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 29, 2017 - 10:28 Reply with quote Back to top

Back to back home games against Skaven. Sure their gold is as good as anyone else’s gold, but the mess they leave is always horrendous. Corbis was starting to doubt if it was a good idea to advertise that any team playing against the Archers in Avelon could stay at the Tarnished Crown Tavern. He looked at the lodgings and grumbled. The clean nests he had provided were now filled with skaven droppings. The little menaces could not even bother using a chamber pot. Think of the common rat droppings you find around the nests and then imagine a nest with a dozen human sized rats. No wonder they always stank. Between droppings and the musk they emitted, it would take several bleach scrubbings to get the odor out of the basement rooms.

Corbis ordered a chamber maid to simply open the trap door to the sewer and sweep the entire mess into it. Flood season should start any day and the light weight straw and debris would easily be washed away.

At least this crew did not red sewer alligators. Putting alligators in a stable had proven more of ha hassle than he had imagined. Once you finally got them out of the sewers one by one and prodded them through the inn and out back to the stables you had to deal with feedings. That skaven team lost a couple of slaves in the endeavor.

Today, the best thing Corbis could say about the Flashrats is that they had easily beaten the Archers of Avelon leaving Coach Kondor in high spirit. A close second was that they had vacated his establishment.

3-0 loss to skaven. https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3906116

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 29, 2017 - 10:48 Reply with quote Back to top

“By Nuffle’s ‘Dice!’” Shouted Corbis.

Skaven were bad enough. Now followers of Nurgle had come to Avelon for a game against the Archers. This is where he drew the line. If he let them in no other team would ever stay at the Tarnished Crown again. The fear of plague and fever would keep everyone away. This is where he had to draw the line, but he had to think fast.

He went to the carriage in the front of the parade where he found the coach. Coach Yyrrkoon thankfully showed no signs of infection so he struck a risky deal. The coach could stay in the basement lodgings now that the rats were gone. (He coached rotters so there was no way the stench would bother him.) The remainder of the team would be housed with the leper colony near the refuse heaps. There they would have time to regenerate and build the potency of the rot they carried. They may even find a new rotter or two among the colonists.

The only hitch was that no one could ever learn that a Nurgle coach had stayed in the Tarnished Crown. It would be very bad for business.

Thankfully the coach agreed and everything seemed to go off without a hitch. The Archers finally managed to win a game and the Rejects managed to infect one of the journeymen only realized the game was against Nurgle after the contract was signed.

Corbis thought he was in the clear until a chambermaid screamed in horror from the basement. She had found a putrefied toe between the sheets of the bed. Perhaps Coach Yyrrkoon should have stayed in the leper colony after all.


3-0 win vs Nurgle - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3906797

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 29, 2017 - 10:52 Reply with quote Back to top

c9805222 walked through the spacious hall, towards the dais that Cronus sprawled in an obnoxiously large bejeweled throne. throughout the hall, whispers and groans were heard from the shifting silks hanging at the sides, whilst aromatic spices filled the air.

c9805222 took a deep breath, yes the self styled Titans did decadence and hedonism like no others, as several of the scars on c9805222's frame attested from several parties with Hera and Hestia.

Cronus looked down at c9805222 with indifference, his daughters Hera and Hestia perched upon his throne with him watched c9805222 as lioness may watch a gazelle, Hestia proffered Cronus a plate from which he drew a line long of powder.

Settling his gaze once more on the coach before him, so what brings you here, to interrupt our pleasure?

c9805222 came quickly to the point, "you lifestyle needs funding and your coffers are running dry" Hestia and Hera sat up their gaze chilling, before they could pounce c9805222 continued

the gnome Corbis aide to Kondor the plaything of the Archers of Avelorn has been in contact, they have been causing him some problems, problems that he thinks you may be better equipped to deal with than your typical thugs...

Hera sat forward, Revwe's eyes, I want her pretty eyes...

"I take it you will play them then" c9805222 said, taking two steps onto the dais and helping himself to the plate of powder before pulling Hestia to her feet.

"then I will see you in the morning at the match."

Oh yes these dark elves did decadence and hedonism like no others...”


This portion of the write-up is contributed by Coach C9805222 himself.

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 29, 2017 - 11:42 Reply with quote Back to top

“Do you think they are the actual Titans of legend?” asked Ortalion as the two teams warmed up for the match in.

Nienna snorted. “I don’t believe in Nuffle, and I certainly don’t believe in Cronus. They are dark elves with an even more inflated ego. They will bleed just like any other inbred dog.”

Kydeth shrugged. “I hope the only place I see them is on this field. If there is an afterlife I hope that elf Hades is not in charge.”

“Maybe.” Chimed in Revwe. “I will tell you I don’t like the way Hera keeps staring at my face. It is creepy. I don’t know if she wants to kill me or take me home.”

Nienna poked her. “You already know the answer to that. Both is the correct answer.”

As they chatted, the mobster coach C9805222 stood proudly but slowly stumbled across the field leading the witch elf Hestia. Both wore matching leather studded collars, and the collars were joined by a six foot long bronze chain. As always, C98 was dressed to excess. This time he wore slightly more clothing than his companion. In the nice weather he was shirtless but sported a tweed ivy cap and matching tweed slacks. Thick gold chains hung around his neck and in his hand he carried gold and ivory gentleman’s cane for flair.

When he reached Kondor, he offered a vile of the white powder that he had not bothered to wipe off of his speckled face.

Kondor politely declined the offer but stared intently at the collars worn by Hestia and C98 before it finally dawned on him.

“You must shop at the same merchant as Coach Rbthma. I shall have to visit him. Clearly I am behind when it comes to Blood Bowl coach fashion trends.” Said Kondor. “Is she going to take the chain from you before she starts playing, or will you be participating in the match today?”

The clearly euphoric C98 simply shrugged and it was obvious that he frankly did not care. His normally beady steel eyes were soft, and while the jaw was still set, chiseled, and hard, it was obvious that he had not shaved in days. Hestia had taken on at least a week long joy ride that did not seem to be at a conclusion.

The horn sounded for the teams to take the field and Hestia hesitated only a moment before unhooking her end of the chain and lovingly placing it in C98’s hand. She hissed something quietly into his ear, then blew a kiss to Kondor and jogged to take her place on the field. Looking at C98, Kondor found that in the place of his normal hard set jaw was an ear to ear smile.
Silently Kondor wished he had the courage to follow a witch elf back to her den.

The game itself was a close affair. These two teams knew and despised one another. Blades crossed and boots rained as the referee simply got out of the way. In the end, the scoreboard read 3-2 archers but only the Titans had inflicted 5 injuries to zero by the Archers. The teams would deem it another split decision.

As soon as the final horn sounded Hestia came back to C98, took the chain from his hand, and refastened it to her collar. C98 had not moved an inch but when she gave the chain a little tug he stood. Hestia then extended a hand to Kondor invitingly.

Kondor looked at Hestia, and looked at the chain. It took every ounce of will power his mind and body could muster but he looked her in the eye and simply said “No.”

Hestia smiled, shrugged, and handed a small leather pouch to C98. He opened it, smiled more broadly, and then the two of them jogged back towards the visitor locker room.

Kondor managed to pull his eyes away from the witch before she disappeared through an open door. One day a dark elf would lead him down that path. However, he was certain that if he ever went down that road he would never come back.

“Good luck Coach.” Whispered Kondor then he walked back to his stadium office alone.


3-2 win vs dark elves - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3907069
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