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Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 04:23 Reply with quote Back to top

Damn. All this should be going on ESBN!

"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"

Joined: Oct 19, 2010

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 04:50 Reply with quote Back to top

Primarch wrote:
JackassRampant wrote:
Yes. Talk to mrt1212.

Thank you, will do.

make sure and get into the NCBB the college version and feeder system for this league while you wait

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Feb 09, 2018 - 17:32 Reply with quote Back to top

Hey Relezite, thanks for the report! Its fun to read it more from the spec's/oponents perspective.

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: May 11, 2018 - 12:17 Reply with quote Back to top

Ex-con's NBFL Season 20 Playoff Preview

Yeah, so I had this entire thing formatted and ready to finish, only for my computer to restart (damn updates) and take my half-completed article with it. So, barring a rush of inspirational fluff, this is going to be more matter-of-fact than usual.

Still, the NBFL playoffs are always a sight to behold. In the pansy-ass NFC, we have four elven teams, a god among frogs, and a vicious chaos team (the latter two being unbeaten this season). In the tough but archaic AFC, we have six ass-hats who barely finished ahead of me this season. Barely, I say!

Who wins? Who cries? Will we get the highly-anticipated 'Grue vs Baz II: Super Bowl Sequel, The Movie'? Or will a darkhorse emerge to steal the show? Keep on reading to see what won't happen:

NFC Wildcard Round

#3 Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers vs #6 Weaklington Frailskins

Two well-developed elven teams go at it here, with a combined eight stat increases to pull off the bullshit plays that elves are notorious for. Tampa has more armor, slightly more agility, and the two fastest players on the field. Weaklington has the strongest players in the matchup, including a revitalized Wilma Wildpuss [GGW], fresh out of ye old potion shoppe. Both teams have 15 players, including some rookies, while Weak will have about 200 inducements to work with.

Really, this matchup is more-or-less even, and will likely come down to a timely, or untimely, dice roll.

Prediction: Tampa 3 - 2 Weaklington (OT)

I want to pick the Frailskins, but in an elf-battle, Tampa has a huge ace up their sleeves with two Ag5 players and two potential OTS catchers. They'll find a way to outscore the opposition for at least one more week.

#4 New York Deviants vs #5 Minnesota High Kings

Another elf battle, though this being the classic rivalry of 'good vs evil' and whatnot. The Deviants are likely the underdogs with the oddsmakers, despite being the higher seed due to the division title. However, they bring two Ag6 weapons to the fight, who are capable of turning any game around. Minni counters with a well-rounded team, with just about every tool they can ask for. While it might be oversimplification to say this a philosophical 'star power' vs 'team bloodbowl' clash, the Deviants will not win without some epic plays from their stat-freaks.

Prediction: Minni 3 - 1 New York

The Kings are too well-balanced for New York to deal with, as they should have a tool to counter everything except hot dice by the Deviants.

NFC Divisional Round

#1 Arizona Kill Em All vs #5 Minnesota High Kings

Zona has been tested but not beaten all season, as they have literally and figuratively crushed all opposition. They have six tacklers to chase down whichever elven team greets them (everyone but Tampa is a possibility), in addition to three sets of claws to bloody. With four potential Ag4 ball carriers, they won't have the typical ball-handling issues of some chaos teams, though they are still vulnerable to those lucky 1d sack-attempts.

Their predicted opponent, Minnesota, has a decided speed advantage, but whether they can stay on the field long enough to use it will be they key to the game; if they can't force a turnover and score on defense, they will not likely win this contest.

Prediction: Arizona 2 - 1 Minni

The Killers will sweat this one out until the end, but they have enough agility to go with their bash to respond to just about anything that might happen. Elves can pull off some miracles, but not if they're injured, or worse.

#2 Green Ball Attackers vs #3 Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers

*insert cliche paragraph about championship pedigree and coaching acumen of Green Ball*

With that covered, we can focus on what really matters: the fact that none of you pansy-ass NFC coaches made a damn dent in the frog's lineup this year. Seriously guys, 920k in the bank?!! Unless Grue literally schemed his way to only taking one block per turn, you SOBs have failed miserably at your jobs.

Luckily their opponent in the Divisional round will...do nothing about that because they are flippin High Elves. Moving on.

Prediction: Green Ball 2 - 1 Tampa

Even Oakland hits harder than you duckers.

NFC Championship Game

#1 Arizona Kill Em All vs #2 Green Ball Attackers

It's only fitting that the two unbeaten NFC teams settle things on the field. Fortunately for the fans, Green Ball finally meets a team that can, potentially, paint the field red with frog blood.

Can Zona overcome their championship-experience disadvantage by single-mindedly beating the hell out of their toughest opponent yet?

Prediction: Arizona 2 - 1 Green Ball (OT)

Probably not.

But I'll predict them to regardless to make my superbowl prediction less cliche.

AFC Wildcard Round

#3 Warpston Oilers vs #6 Baltimore Mavens

Despite claims by the Oiler's coach that his rats struggle with a DE matchup, fans will likely see these rats as the favorites to represent the AFC. If at the very least, they are the fan favorites, since their games always have the two things: blood (mostly their own), and epic plays (also mostly their own).

However this ELITE Baltimore squad will not be intimidated by a hostile crowd, as they have a solid squad with two +ST and two +AG players to wield. It remains to be seen how their defense will stop the double-trouble MA10 gutter brothers, if it is at all possible.

Prediction: Warpston 3 - 2 Baltimore

While I want to pick the upset, the decisive Oiler speed advantage will ultimately make the difference.

#4 Denvork Bronkorks vs #5 Jacksonville Jagâs

A decidedly different style of matchup to the previous game, Denvork is probably heading into this matchup at the perfect time; a year from now, Jacksonville might have enough claw to really threaten the beefy orc team. However, with just one blocker having grown claws, the only way the Jagâs likely steal this game is if they receive the ball and remove three orcs within the first two turns, letting them potentially start an avalanche of 2d blocks, leading to even more removal.

Prediction: Denvork 2 - 1 Jacksonville

Buuut that probably won't happen.

*fingers crossed*

AFC Divisional Round

#1 Cincinatti Bludgeoners vs #4 Denvork Bronkorks

This is not the Cincinatti team that I remember (christ, that playoff game was four seasons ago, damn droughts); they have three relatively new Pestigors, but are still carried by one goat (the G.O.A.T.?). They also seem less tentacle/diving tackle heavy than I remember, moving away from a suffocating style of defense to a more traditional 'bury them in the ground' style defense.

But you know who's even better at that? Deez orcs.

Prediction: Cincinatti 1 - 2 Denvork

It won't be easy. It won't be pretty. In fact, it'll be pretty ugly (neither team will win a beauty contest). But Denvork will find a way to prevail thanks to their tougher armor.

#2 New York Wrecks vs #3 Warpston Oilers

The Wrecks, perenially lead by stud Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW], have yet to find post-season success that matches their regular-season promise, as they have lost their playoff opener (wildcard then divisional) in the past two seasons. Does "Broadway" actually fear the lights of the bigger stage? Perhaps he needs a running mate to help him carry the load (and not die mid-season)?

They only have two tacklers for this matchup against rats, and the effects of their claws are essentially neutralized. Can they overcome their past failures and avenge last year's playoff defeat to the exact same team in the exact same round?

Prediction: New York 2 - 1 Warpston

Yes...I think? Honestly I don't think this is a good matchup for the Wrecks, because, despite their record, their roster is missing some essential tools (seriously, only two tacklers?). Thus I think this victory more comes down to the dice favoring them, as Warpston will have a hard time dislodging the ball from the beefy Bryant, and they simply won't get the timely rolls they need.

AFC Championship

#2 New York Wrecks vs #4 Denvork Bronkorks

But this! This is a much better matchup for the Wrecks. Not only do they (currently) have three claw players to slice up the orcs, the greenskins would have already played both Jacksonville and Cincinatti just to get here. Thus, the odds are they'll be beat up even before they arrive for this game (despite only taking an absurdly low twelve casualties all season).

With the playoff monkey off their backs and a claw-vulnerable, beat-up orc team in front of them, everything sets up perfectly for Joe to become something Moe!

As in, more, but you say it to rhyme with Joe.



Prediction: New York 1 - 2 Denvork (OT)

Baby steps, robo. Baby steps. Bryant won't let you down in your first playoff game, but he will in this one. I wouldn't mind trading for him in the offseason if you don't want to deal with his big ego, though.

NBFL Super Bowl XX

Arizona Kill Em All vs Denvork Bronkorks

Boy, the Bronkorks are looking more and more like masochists during this playoff run: CDs, Nurgle, Chaos, and more Chaos.

Will Nuffle finally allow them to take damage?

Will the Ag4 ball carriers on both sides have to run for their lives as their blockers fall left and right?

Will their be any players left standing at the end of this game?

Just one.

Prediction: Arizona 1 - 2 Denvork

That's right folks, a California graduate will literally be the last player left standing on the pitch on turn 16, with a 3+ pickup separating him and eternal glory.

Naturally, due his skink-background in college, he'll roll a 2 at first, but the orcs wisely saved one final reroll, and Jack Austin, despite his underwhelming college career, rolls the 3 he needs to become a hero in Denvork.

And with a second Super Bowl trophy in hand, JAR decides to accept a new GM job with a yet-to-be-determined franchise, and start the quest all over again.

A heap of dead orcs from this playoff run may, or may not, have influenced his decision.

NBFL Super Bowl XX Champion: Denvork Bronkorks

And a three-year long plan in the making (Jack graduated 9/1/2015) by the shadow-commissioner ex-convict finally bears fruit, as Oakland's biggest obstacle is removed, allowing us to once again return to the playoffs every season and lose in the first round like we used to so long ago.

I'd call that a win-win.

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Last edited by ex-convict on May 11, 2018 - 16:47; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Oct 19, 2010

Post   Posted: May 11, 2018 - 12:40 Reply with quote Back to top

good read as always and putting the bad mojo of the prediction on JR lovely

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: May 11, 2018 - 18:30 Reply with quote Back to top

yeah! nice prediction! most likely though it will end with "...but then came grue...", but it fuels some hopes for now. Smile

Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: May 11, 2018 - 20:09 Reply with quote Back to top

This would also be a great time to remind folks that we will be starting season 21 around September 6th but the Draft will begin about August 1st. So there will be signups before then and if you've ever wanted to play in the NBFL hit me up any time between now August and I'll give you the lay of the land and whats open and other opportunities like the NCBB.

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Oct 25, 2018 - 13:40 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Season 21: Halftime

We're halfway through another epic season in the NBFL, with seven weeks down and seven more to go. Some teams are already dreaming about next year, while others still have much left to play for. Here are the current division standings:

NFC East
1. PhilaWAAAGHphia (3-1-2; 31 pts)
2. Weaklington (2-2-3; 20)
3. Foullas (2-1-3; 17)
4. New York (1-2-4; 13)

The WAAAGHphia have a decent lead so far, around a game and a half points-wise, along with a win over 2nd place Weaklington. The Foulboys do have the best net CAS rating with +15 in six games, while all of the teams have between 8 and 10 scores on the season. Thus there really isn't a whole lot separating these squads; odds are that the Iggles have just enough of a lead that they'll end up taking the division.

NFC North
1. Green Ball (4-2-1; 34)
2. Destitutes (4-2-1; 34)
3. Chicagovania (2-3-2; 23)
4. Ministers (2-3-2; 23)

Easily the best division in the league, the North also features two of the top teams with very differing styles; both Green Ball and Detroit sport +7 TD differentials, but the Desti's are +23 in CAS net while the Grues' are -20. However Green Ball scored the only goal when these two met this season, giving them the early tiebreaker. Both teams are likely headed towards the playoffs, with the result of their next meeting being crucial for the division crown. However both Chicagovania and the Ministers could make a wildcard run if things break right for them.

NFC South
1. Buccaneers (3-3-1; 30)
2. Nawlins (2-1-3; 17)
3. Atlanta (1-3-2; 16)
4. Carolina (1-2-3; 13)

Right now the South looks to be the Buc's to lose, with the other three division rivals curled up together in a ball of 'meh'. With +4 TD and +8 CAS nets (before taking a whooping in their final game), they are clearly the favorites going into the second half. However, they keep losing their invaluable Bull Centaurs, which could give one of their rivals a chance at a late run.

NFC West
1. San Foulcisco (6-0-0; 45)
2. Los Angeles (4-1-2; 31)
3. C'Attle (2-1-4; 17)
4. Arizona (1-0-6; 7)

The only unbeaten, untied team in the league resides right here: the 69'ers. Everything has worked beautifully so far this season, with +7 TD and +23 CAS nets (five CAS caused per game, oof). The defending champs, who moved to Los Angeles in the offseason, have likewise been impressive, though they might be forced to settle for a wildcard birth at this rate. The rest of the division has had miserable seasons so far, with nothing going right for C'Attle and the late new-comers in Arizona never having a chance thanks to their infinite list of injuries.

AFC East
1. New York (1-5-1; 22)
2. Miasma (1-2-3; 20)
3. Dead England (1-3-2; 16)
4. Buffalo (1-2-4; 13)

Easily the worst division in the league, the East will eventually have to be won by someone. The current favorites, the Wrecks (defending AFC champions), recently got bamboozled and had perennial MVP candidate Broadway Joe pick up a niggling injury. How this incident affects the team, and ultimately the division, will be interesting to watch. The rest of the games involving these teams, though? Not so much.

AFC North
1. Baltimore (4-2-1; 34)
2. Blittzburgh (3-2-2; 27)
3. Khleveland (2-4-1; 26)
4. Vigilante (1-4-2; 19)

This may be the most entertaining division to watch in the league, with two elven teams who can score with the best of them (9 in seven games each) and a Khemri team that can bash with the rest of them (32 caused in seven games). These underdogs have turned former NCBB scrubs into All-Pro players, churning out a 1 TD/ 1 INT / 3 CAS performance in their recent contest. One team from this division is obviously guaranteed a playoff spot, yet it is not out of the question that another will get in (Blitz and Khlev are sitting 7th and 8th, respectively).

AFC South
1. Jakesonville (5-1-0; 41)
2. Warpston (3-1-2; 31)
3. Indy (2-0-5; 14)
4. Titansee (1-0-5; 7)

The week seven Game of the Week lived up to its billing, with Jakesvonville and Warpton having an epic contest where the elves took an early lead and the rats scratching their way back into it, only to fall just short. However the toll that the Oilers may have crushed any realistic hopes they have had at another long playoff run, with two vital gutter runners getting permed and retired. You never, ever, count sneaky rats out, but it will take some good fortune and then some for Warpton to shock the world and make it to the AFC championship game yet again (sneaky way-too-early ex-con playoff prediction)

AFC West
1. Denvork (5-0-1; 42)
2. Oakland (5-2-0; 41)
3. San Dogo (2-1-4; 17)
4. Kansas City (0-2-5; 6)

The resurgent Raiders have had a surprise season so far, feasting on expansion and/or banged up teams and pulling off an upset over rival Denvork. However it took a ton of favorable dice plus armor saves, and Oakland still barely managed to hold on the final turn. Thus the odds are that the Bronkorks will end up winning the division, thanks to their mercilessly efficient play (+7 TD and +35 CAS nets, including only five CAS taken). It is certainly possible that both make the playoffs, though, with most of the conference being either 'very good' or 'very bad'.

The Big Picture

The race for the top two seeds in each conference means more than ever: not only do you face one less bloodthirsty opponent, an offseason rule change finally lets a team with a bye get any injured players back for the divisional round games. Thus this advantage could prove critical to some of the more 'breakable' teams that litter the league.

In the NFC, the South looks like a one-team show (Bucs), and the East will likely be 'who sucks the least'. It can be assumed then, that the wildcard teams will come from the West and the North. As far as the byes go, you can pencil in San Foulcisco for one, and our money is on the North winner taking the other.

In the AFC, the East will have one victim, I mean representative in the playoffs, while the wildcards will be hotly contested all season long. With five teams currently above 30 points, the race for the top two seeds could come down to the final weeks, with conference wins proving to be a key tiebreaker.

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 25, 2018 - 14:06 Reply with quote Back to top

Discount the AFCE at your peril.

/me extends a middle finger in ex-con's direction

"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"

Joined: Jan 22, 2009

Post   Posted: Oct 25, 2018 - 18:11 Reply with quote Back to top

Khleveland faces Baltimore in a wicked back-to-backer to start the 2nd half of the season. Jury is out on who that favors... but should set a decent tone for the fight over the division championship.

**EDIT** That game will be this Saturday, at 5pm Eastern Daylight Time / 1pm Eastern Pacific Ocean Time

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 12, 2018 - 16:10 Reply with quote Back to top

"The rest of the division has had miserable seasons so far, with nothing going right for C'Attle".

We located the problem. We took care of it. Yes, it was the cow. Put her on the LOS, first hit against her by a Glam-high elf killed her, coach ordered apo to stand down. But, just to be sure, we also fired the QB - it's always the QB's fault. Adios, goat with ag4, block, sure hands, 2 heads, etc...

Now we are on our quest to ruin it all, including our high draft pick. Razz

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Dec 15, 2018 - 17:41 Reply with quote Back to top

Ex-con's NBFL Season 21 Playoff Preview

Once again folks, it's time for the most brutal, heart-stopping, 'will he snake the GFI on the endzone'-exhilarating spectacle that is the NBFL Playoffs. Season 21 was bloody, surprising, and generally awesome; the playoffs multiply that by a number so large, that I can't even fathom it.

So two. It multiplies it by two.

I can, however, predict how these playoffs will go. If we look back at my mid-season predictions, I can highlight a few places I was right and a few that I was wrong:

NFC East
"Thus there really isn't a whole lot separating these squads; odds are that the Iggles have just enough of a lead that they'll end up taking the division." WRONG

NFC North
"However both Chicagovania and the Ministers could make a wildcard run if things break right for them." Half Correct

NFC South
"However, [the Bucs] keep losing their invaluable Bull Centaurs, which could give one of their rivals a chance at a late run." Spot on

NFC West
"The only unbeaten, untied team in the league resides right here: the 69'ers. Everything has worked beautifully so far this season" WTF happened they missed the playoffs??!"

AFC East
"The current favorites, the Wrecks (defending AFC champions)" Good

AFC North
"One team from this division is obviously guaranteed a playoff spot, yet it is not out of the question that another will get in (Blitz and Khlev are sitting 7th and 8th, respectively)." All four teams were eligible through week 12

AFC South
"You never, ever, count sneaky rats out, but it will take some good fortune and then some for Warpton to shock the world and make it to the AFC championship game yet again (sneaky way-too-early ex-con playoff prediction)" They ALMOST squeaked into the playoffs

AFC West
"It is certainly possible that both make the playoffs, though, with most of the conference being either 'very good' or 'very bad'." Literally came down to the final two turns of the season

Needless to say, it was quite the second half. However we must look forward, so let's take a look at the teams that will (mostly) grace us with their playoff presence:


1. Green Ball Attackers (10/3/1, North)
2. Los Angeles Glams (10/2/2, West)
3. Weaklignton Frailskins (6/2/6, East)
4. Nawlins Lost Saints (4/3/6, South)
5. Chicagovania Provocateurs (7/4/3, North)
6. Detroit Destitutes (7/4/3, North)

Green Ball is back to their dominant ways, only dropping one contest wayyy back in week 5. The team is a bit dinged up, with five players having some sort of permanent injury, but otherwise they are deep (15 frogs), talented (2790 value), and well-coached (grue). The only thing that can stop this team is untimely dice on their sack-attempts, because they will absolutely give themselves a chance at all times.

Los Angeles are the defending champs and showed why, overtaking an unbeaten division rival after the halfway point and taking a top seed as well. They have likewise picked up a few injuries along the way, but still have six players with at least four earned skills (must be nice). If there is an opportunity to be had, you'd best be sure that the Glams will do their damnest to take advantage.

Weaklington did what they had to do and made the tournament with a .500 record, but anyone who overlooks them will be making a mistake. With a dynamic duo of Wilma Wildpuss [GGW] on defense and Justin Conzemius [MIN] leading the offense, they have the power to turn any game around in an instant.

The Nawlins Lost Saints won a bad division with a bad record (4-3-6), but they will make no apologies as they try to trounce on these playoffs. Led by...this guy, I guess, the Saints will try to pull one of the biggest upsets in NBFL history.

Against the Chicagovania Provocateurs, that is. Coach Relezite revamped (no pun intended) the roster in the offseason, and clearly has them on the right track. With six studly players and six not-so-studly players as fodder, Chicago will lure you to sleep and take the ball before you know what happened.

Lastly the Detroit Destitutes are probably the easiest team to figure out in this bracket: they will smash your face in, go pick up the ball, and then come back to smash your face in again with the ball. With +7 TD and +23 CAS ratios in the 2nd half, it seems to be only a matter of time before they win the numbers game. Mayhaps this is as dangerous a 6th seed as we've ever seen.

Wildcard Round

#3 Weaklignton Frailskins vs #6 Detroit Destitutes

Key to the game: However, Weaklington caught a HUGE break when Uhtoxtlo Peters[Philly] was injured in the season finale, as he is easily the best player on the 'Tutes roster. Can the 'skins stay on the field long enough to outrun the evil beards?

Prediction: Weaklington 2 - 1 Detroit

They will, but it may prove costly.

#4 Nawlins Lost Saints vs #5 Chicagovania Provocateurs

Key to the game: the dice. Moreso than most teams, if Chicago ends up flailing around with failed gazes and bloodlust due to Nuffle's whims, even a underdog like the Saints can take advantage and emerge victorious. The coaching for both sides will be top-notch, so a critical, unforced error can likely decide this game.

Prediction: Chicago 2 - 0 Nawlins

And the Saints will be the unlucky ones.

Divisional Round

#1 Green Ball Attackers vs #5 Chicagovania Provocateurs

Key to the game: can Relezite use his big-brain and find the solution that unlocks the Grue-bix cube that has perplexed the NBFL for years? As in...how the hell do you protect the ball for the entire game against these frogs?!

Prediction: Green Ball 2 - 1 Chicago

Error 404.

#2 Los Angeles Glams vs #3 Weaklington Frailskins

Key to the game: Weaklington will have a puncher's chance in this elf-battle, if and ONLY if, they somehow emerge unscathed in the wildcard. If any of their key players miss this contest, they won't have the horses to keep up.

Prediction: Los Angeles 3 - 2 Weaklington

And they'll still probably lose even if they did.

NFC Championship Game

#1 Green Ball Attackers vs #2 Los Angeles Glams

This matchup is synonymous with ordering the same thing every time at your favorite restaurant: its the boring choice, but there are no complaints. This is one hell of a matchup between the defending champs and the five-time champs, who are eager to regain the crown. Likewise, a combined 20-5-3 record suggests that these are easily the best two teams in the conference, and perhaps the league.

Key to the game: Unfortunately someone of my coaching ability cannot fathom what strategeries would be necessary to win a game of this magnitude. After all, in my ONE championship game appearance in 17 NBFL seasons (and we used to run two teams for several of those), I lost to ducking Khemri in overtime.

Prediction: Green Ball 2 - 3 Los Angeles (OT)

So naturally I think this game will go to overtime, with the champs earning a shot at a repeat!

AFC Playoffs

1. Jakesonville Jortles (7/5/1, South)
2. Denvork Broncorks (7/1/4, West)
3. Khleveland Khrowns (5/8/1, North)
4. New York Wrecks (4/9/1, East)
5. Oakland Elf Raiders (6/5/3, West)
6. Baltimore Mavens (5/7/2, North)

Jakesonville earned the top seed by simply not losing, dropping only a single contest. With a balanced and talented team, they also have the greatest gift an AFC team could hope for: avoiding Denvork until the championship game at the earliest.

The aforementioned Broncorks suddenly look vulnerable despite their 2-seed status, with a measly 2-1-3 record in the second half. However, there is a mighty short list of teams who would volunteer to play them, as they are usually a model of brutal efficiency. Did Miasma, New York, and/or Kansas City give teams a blueprint for defeating them? Or is this a clever orc ploy for getting the AFC's collective hopes up?

The fan-favorite Khleveland Khrowns also refused to lose for most of the season, dropping one contest while tying another eight. With the mountain of 2d and even 3d they can throw at you, it's usually only a matter of time before things avalanche on the opposition. Now, however, they won't be able to simply settle for tieing the Khrowns...

Which is something the New York Wrecks have been doing all season, as they likewise have eight ties on the year. Can the now-gimpy Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW] finally carry his team through the playoff gauntlet?

But if you want to know something about gauntlets, look no further than the Oakland Elf Raiders, who have been beaten down so badly that they look like a damn NCBB team. Two blitzers, both witches, an Ag5 runner, two St4 linos, and probably some lesser-known fodder as well...and most of them were lost in the second half. It took some poor dice by their arch-rivals in the season finale to give the Raiders a playoff spot; whether or not they do anything with it is probably irrelevant.

Finally the Baltimore Mavens round out the playoff teams in the manly conference, who have the look of a dangerous wild-card team. With seven stat increases and some cool fluff behind them, Baltimore will be glad they can finally play some teams that aren't in the hotly-contested AFC North division.

AFC Wildcard

#3 Khleveland Khrowns vs #6 Baltimore Mavens

Or so they thought. These rivals fought back-to-back games in Week 7 and Week 8, with both resulting in 1-1 ties. Ultimately, the slow methodical beatdown of 2d and 3d blocks wore down the Mavens, who weren't able to elf their way to victory.

Key to the game: can Baltimore force THE turnover? You know the one: when their back-line is about to break and this will be their LAST chance at a relatively clean shot on the ball. There won't be another opportunity, especially since strength teams always seem to win the OT cointoss...

Prediction: Khleveland 1 - 2 Baltimore

My heart wants the Khrowns, but ma brains tells me that elves will finally elf the third time around.

#4 New York Wrecks vs #5 Oakland Elf Raiders

This is a game between a team that finally learned how to win (3 of 4 wins came in the 2nd half for NY) vs a team that forgot how to (Raider win #5 was in week 5...win #6 was in week 14).

Key to the game: more than anything, the Raiders desperately need a Blitz kickoff result to go their way; these elves aren't proficient at quick defensive scores, but the more time spent in the Wreck's backfield, the better their chances. However...

Prediction: New York 1 - 0 Oakland

This ain't it, chief.

AFC Divisional Round

#1 Jakesonville Jortles vs #6 Baltimore Mavens

Ah yes, the battle of the fluff. Nothing more needs to be said.

Key to the game: Who's gonna get this bread?

Prediction: Jakesonville 2 - 1 Baltimore (OT)

"Don't say Jortles."

#2 Denvork Bronkorks vs #4 New York Wrecks

Denvork has a chance at revenge against a team that beat them earlier; New York has some juicy targets for their claws.

Key to the game: Who's damager-dealer pops off the most?

Prediction: Denvork 1 - 0 New York

One-and-done for robo, as per usual.

AFC Championship Game

#1 Jakesonville Jortles vs #2 Denvork Bronkorks

Speed vs Strength, good vs evil, blah blah blah.

Key to the game: Whether Denvork rolls 8+ or not on their armor rolls.

Prediction: Jakesonville 2 - 1 Denvork

"Don't say Jortles."


Los Angeles Glams vs Jakesonville Jortles

Can the league commish stop the Glams from winning back-to-back titles?

Will this be the highest scoring Super Bowl in league history?

Which team is about to be placed under the Ex-con Curse, something NO ONE has yet been able to overcome?

Somewhere, mrt is reading this article saying to himself:

"Don't say Jortles."

"Don't say Jortles."

"Don't say Jortles."

Prediction: Los Angeles 2 - 3 Jakesonville

Congrats to the Jortles for winning the Super Bowl!!!

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.

Joined: Sep 25, 2016

Post   Posted: Dec 15, 2018 - 18:59 Reply with quote Back to top

Great read, Ex-convict. Although you were all right in our division. Things did not break "right" for the rats.(more like right quick) Coach fail, team fail, and then finally armor fail.

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Dec 15, 2018 - 19:46 Reply with quote Back to top

Nice prediction! And I believe in the curse - glams or grue, thats the question, imho.

Joined: Mar 06, 2008

Post   Posted: Dec 15, 2018 - 20:54 Reply with quote Back to top

An elite report.

Why play the rest, I can live with that.

There is always Sneaky Git.
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