Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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 Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:31 |
 
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Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw--
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime--Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no on like Macavity,
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime--Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air--
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square--
But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!
He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair--
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!
And when the Foreign Office finds a Treaty's gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair--
But it's useless of investigate--Macavity's not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
"It must have been Macavity!"--but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macacity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibit, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place--MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
ah ahhh! And now we got it!!! Guard catch him
(yeah right like if he was a pokemon... ) |
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MrMojo
Joined: Apr 17, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:33 |
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cardiff makes one mad, don't it? |
_________________
My post count
Jesus loves me this I know, 'cos my Bible tells me so. |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:37 |
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"Sanity goodbye"
by Dr. Ironik, PhD
 |
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Last edited by JanMattys on %b %30, %2005 - %12:%Aug; edited 1 time in total |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:40 |
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| MrMojo wrote: | | cardiff makes one mad, don't it? |
I suppose it should be <b>drives</b> one mad, <b>doesn't</b> it
a literate Ironik
:p |
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MrMojo
Joined: Apr 17, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:44 |
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You and your presciptive grammars and whatnot... English is a living entity, yeh gadda led id flow, mon. |
_________________
My post count
Jesus loves me this I know, 'cos my Bible tells me so. |
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OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:45 |
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TS Elliot wrote about william street and it's hookers... also some poem about dead bodies in the surf while he was a photographer during the war..
ahh highschool english coming back to me |
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MrMojo
Joined: Apr 17, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 12:55 |
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Miss Lou wrote:
so yuh a de man me hear about!
Ah yuh dem seh dah teck
Whole heap a English oat seh dat
yuh gwine kill dialec!
Meck me get it straight, Mas Ironik
For me no quite understan
Yuh gwine kill all English dialec
Or jus Jamaica one?
Ef yuh dah equal up wid English
Language, den wha meck
Yuh gwine go feel inferior when
It come to dialec?
Ef yuh cyaan sing 'Linstead Market'
An 'Water come a me yeye'
Yuh wi haffi tap sing 'Auld lang syne'
An 'Comin through de rye'.
Dah language weh youh proud a,
Weh yuh honour an respec -
Po Mas Ironik, yuh no know se
Dat it spring from dialec!
Dat dem start fi try tun language
From de fourteen century -
Five hundred years gawn an dem got
More dialec dan we!
Yuh wi haffi kill de Lancashire,
De Yorkshire, de Cockney,
De broad Scotch and de Irish brogue
Before yuh start kill me!
Yuh wi haffi get de Oxford Book
A English Verse, an tear
Out Chaucer, Burns, Lady Grizelle
An Plenty a Shakespeare!
When yuh done kill 'wit' an 'humour'
When yuh kill 'variety',
Yuh wi haffi fine a way fi kill
Originality!
An mine how yuh dah read dem English
Book deh pon yuh shelf,
for ef yuh drop a 'h' yuh mighta
Haffi kill yuhself! |
_________________
My post count
Jesus loves me this I know, 'cos my Bible tells me so. |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 13:25 |
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| OldBugman wrote: | TS Elliot wrote about william street and it's hookers... also some poem about dead bodies in the surf while he was a photographer during the war..
ahh highschool english coming back to me |
I thought Pogues treated more then abundantly the theme |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 13:38 |
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has anyone seen Macavity? |
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Cloggy
Joined: Sep 23, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 13:40 |
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Macavity did a big GOODBYE kinda thing a couple of weeks ago, so think he's gone to spam another forum into server overload  |
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Proud owner of three completed Ranked grids, sadly lacking in having a life. |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 13:46 |
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is it? Blimy one takes an holiday and ...
Ah well...
He found a better server to infest? |
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sk8bcn
Joined: Apr 13, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 13:59 |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 14:08 |
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to conclude Macavity disappeared before he could be caught ... |
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LurkingGrue
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 14:16 |
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William Carlos Williams wrote:
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold |
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"It is very dark. If you continue you are likely to be eaten by a grue." |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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| Posted:
Sep 30, 2005 - 18:39 |
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huh, whadda ya know... my poem..... |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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