DreadsMistress
Joined: Mar 08, 2006
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  Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:42 |
 
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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a rel sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. |
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*My English sucks... But okay, I do too! |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:45 |
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DonTomaso
Joined: Feb 20, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:46 |
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Hahaha...
Wot ar joo zinking abaoot? |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:48 |
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That sounds more like Orchish anyway. |
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DreadsMistress
Joined: Mar 08, 2006
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:48 |
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| DonTomaso wrote: | | Wot ar joo zinking abaoot? |
Now it's even more fun!! |
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*My English sucks... But okay, I do too! |
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Wolfskin
Joined: Jan 21, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 16:49 |
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Reminds me of the reformation of the german language few years ago. Horrible. I still use old spelling and rules. They can reform my furry ar**.
And as i like the english language, even such mindplays can me at my furry, you know....
Yuk.  |
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Gitzbang
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:00 |
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Nice joke, until now every official language of every EU-country has been official language for EU, doubt that'll change |
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Altheus
Joined: Sep 16, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:01 |
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To Quote from the Lord of the Rings movies
"We's not goin no furver 'til we's 'ad a breaver". 
English (London accent) = Orcish.
Altheus |
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Emphasy
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:03 |
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eyeslikethunder
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:15 |
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ha ha |
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StarBreeze
Joined: May 17, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:21 |
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Jesus I hope thats a joke, otherwise we will look like dislexical nerds. |
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eyeslikethunder
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:29 |
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yeah it an old joke
anyway welsh should be the official language of europe
then we all sound like elves |
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Proud Member of E.L.F.
There was this disturbance in the water, then suddenly this giant testicle came out and grabbed me |
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MiBasse
Joined: Dec 04, 2004
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:31 |
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| eyeslikethunder wrote: | yeah it an old joke
anyway welsh should be the official language of europe
then we all sound like elves |
Not much into Tolkien but I do know that he based elven language on Finnish which has roots in Mongolian, so if you want to sound like a Tolkien elf I suggest you speak Finnish  |
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Fama
Joined: Feb 09, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:39 |
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Ok, I don't know a lot about fonetics but my friend has taught me the letters and such. And if I'm right, for example, the english word "house" is written in fonetical letters [haus], more or less. English is spoken very differently compared to how it is written (or at least that's what I've been told), while Finnish is spoken pretty much like it's spelt (although there are some differences). Of course this could be just the way they teach English around here  |
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DanTheMan
Joined: Apr 24, 2005
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2006 - 17:53 |
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That's because the written finnish language is a comparatively new "invention". It was solely a spoken language until the 16th century when a finnish bishop created written finnish, basing it on swedish, german and latin. |
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