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 Issue 6 - February 27 2506
FUMBBL's Spotlight Match

Jim: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls and monsters! I'm Jim and this is Bob, and were delighted you could join us for another exciting matchup! Today we're watching the Wood Elves of Farwoods Revenge team wrestle in the mud and rain against the skaven Weapon Masters. These two teams have got a bit of a history against each other, so what's your prediction on the outcome of this one, Bob?

Bob: Well Jim, I think there are going to be patches of fur and ponytails all over the pitch!

Jim: We can only hope, Bob.

The Wood Elves win the toss and elect too receive. The Weapon Masters set up in their popular reverse arrow head formation, with 3 demoralized linemen facing up against Farwood's Revenge's towering treeman. As soon as the whistle blows Farwood's Revenge's snaps into action. They secure the ball in seconds, a player hanging back deep in their half with it, waiting for an opening or a passing oppurtunity. They make it look like child's play, with shoving match ensuing over the line of scrimmage. All that shoving is paying off as a hole appears down the right hand side of the pitch. The ball carrier has seen it and is racing off towards it to capitalize on the oppurtunity, before the skaven defenders can plug it up again.

Jim: Did you see that, Bob?

Bob: I sure did Jim! Farwood's well-known powerhouse Zen Nightbringer just thundered into the skaven half, landing a tackle on the skaven thrower so hard that even my teeth shook. I don't see any blood, but the poor rat's not getting up and is being dragged off the pitch with what looks to be a concussion.

No sooner has the action started than it's stopped again. Farwood's Revenge delivers the ball into the Weapon Masters' endzone in under one minute. But will their defence be as sharp? The set-up they are employing is best described as "a bit of a blob".

Bob: Look at that, Jim. The Weapon Masters are sending Tonfa out on the pitch, a renowned player of questionable talents! Out of all his games this season he has only finished 2 without being ejected!

The ball is kicked and the offence flies into action, barging down the left hand side of the pitch.

Bob: Blimey, Jim, look at all that blood! It seems that Wakizashi of the Weapon Masters has sprung a leak. And it looks like Zen Nightbringer is the culprit again! Brutal play for an elf.

Jim: And there's the Weapon Masters' apothecary, sprinting onto the pitch, dodging those battle-worn players with such finesse that he's sure to have the scouts out there drooling! A few steroids and Wakizashi is back on his feet in no time! Let's hope that doesn't happen again, Bob, as the apothecary is only allowed on the pitch once per game.

Bob: I'm going to have to butt in here, Jim, but Falor Mistrunner is being dragged off by the stewards as we speak. It seems the Wood Elf Blitzer lost some teeth! Wow! There goes another one! The apothecary must have put something extra into Wakizashi's steroids, as he's showing that he's no sissy. I cuold hear that crunch from here! Avate Mistwalker's jaw has got to be broken!

Jim: All this blood is whetting my palate, Bob.

The ball is still far back in the Weapon Masters' half while the skaven blockers are trying to fend off those dancing Wood Elfs so they can get a pass off. The pass is made eventually, and Gutter Runner Xbow goes charging down the pitch. It's a race to the endzone, where Tonfa is waiting for the ball, but the Gutter Runner has a clear lead over all of the Wood Elf defenders. It's up to Tonfa as Xbow hands him the ball, but he drops it!

Jim: Tonfa was miles away! Day-dreaming in the endzone of all places! The obscenities that Xbow is now treating him to are making even Bob blush. But he seems to have forgotten about the two Wood Elf defenders in his anger and is now ploughed head first into the ground! What a tackle! The elfs are quick to recover the ball, which is hurled down the pitch and received by an eager lineman, trying to make his name as he drives into the skaven half.

Bob: I certainly don't recognise him.

Jim: Have you ever seen something so graceful, Bob? Look at him dodging past the Weapon Masters hurried defence.

Bob: Not often, Jim, not often, but he's got a ratman coming in from either side now. Yup, they've got him and he's gone down hard. Save's me the bother of looking up his name.

The Weapon Masters recover the ball and it's lobbed back down the pitch. It's quickly forced into the hands of Xbow, who is just regaining his senses in the endzone.

Jim: Touchdown Weapon Masters!

After a few seconds, the players run, or in some cases limp, back into their starting positions. The Weapon Masters kick the ball high and it lands squarely in the hands of the Wood Elves' receiver. Farwood's Revenge start their drive with unusual strength, powering their way downfield.

Bob: Well, this is boring, Jim. Are the Weaopn Masters even still out there? Looks like the elves have given the ball to one of the team's nobodies and hauled him bodily into the endzone.

Jim: Well said, Bob, thank Nuffle for the half-time whistle. Time for a Blood!

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Jim and Bob had more than just a single Bloodweiser, and ended up missing the second half entirely! However, from what we've heard, there was a lot less blood in the second half, so they didn't miss much. Farwood's Revenge managed to hold the Skaven offence back and scored again to go 3 - 1 up. The Weapon Masters, however, snuck one back in the dieing seconds, and so it all ended at 3 - 2 in favour of Farwood's Revenge.

 
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