“Well Jim, we’ve all seen it coming but…. it’s official now: Flash Rip'nsmasher , star blitzer and heart and soul of the Smashington Greenskins, is now officially the biggest orc star in the incredibly tough Black Box league.”

“Yes Bob, and of particular note is of course the way he achieved this feat: rather than trying the true and tested orc way of gaining fame by beating an ungodly amount of opponents to a pulp, he did it by, wait for it, scoring lots and lots of Touchdowns!”

“Right, and you have to hand it to him. While his style is, ahah, unorctodox, it was very successful in gaining fame and recognition.”

“Unorctodox”. Well, let’s just say it’s an improvement over your ‘unorthokrox’ joke from yesterday Bob. But back to the topic at hand. As you recall, we celebrated Flash for being the most scoringest orc in the dreaded Black Box league a while ago. Now, he’s continued to amaze and just became the biggest Star Player ever in that very same environment. So, how did he score all these touchdowns without getting beat to a pulp?"

“It’s a good question Jim, which many of our viewers have asked us about. That’s why we invited the famous goblin player agent 'Honest' Gorblum Yellowtongue to be with us today. For those that are not familiar with mr Yellowtongue, he was voted one of Spike! Magazine’s top 50 of most influential persons in modern day blood bowl.”

“But most people will know him as the business mind behind Flash Rip’nsmasher’s ascent, Bob. So we’re really grateful to have him with us today. Welcome, mr. Yellowtongue! It’s an honor”.

“Of course it is, Jim, Bob. Of course it is. And great to be with you today for this festive occasion. Flash is a really special talent, but not everybody saw that in him right away. And I had always thought that is was uncanny how much money those silly elves made for just catching a ball and running it in. Sure, they tend to break easily so it takes a good amount of gold to get them on the pitch, but it also got me thinking. What if an orc could play like that, but then without the being stomped flat part of the deal?”

“Great insight, very well put. So, what Jim and me are most curious about: how did you convince Flash to play a bit less traditional and a bit more, well, elvish?”

“Bob, you know we at Yellowtongue Agency prefer ‘flashing’ over ‘elvish’. But semantics aside, it wasn’t very hard. Flash was a bright young orc and of course he dreamed of smashing his way to glory like any other orc. And he showed promise, which is why Smashington hired him in the first place. But I had a bigger vision, one in which he would earn enough gold to have Halfling for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and he bought into it. He trained a lot on his speed. He watched other scorers and copied some techniques and of course he became quite agile through all of that.”

“Amazing. Talking an orc out of hitting someone. Me and Bob are very impressed Gorblum. Can we say Gorblum? Anyway, what would you say was the biggest challenge on the route to stardom?”

“First of all, that’s ‘mr. Yellowtongue’, thanks. But to your question: the biggest obstacle was the coach. We all know longtime coach Joost is a bit set in his ways, and prefers his orcs to hit things and just to stand firm in the way of the opponent. The man despised the idea of a more flashing style of play! He wouldn’t have it, and even hired a thrower for ball handling duties.”

“That would be Russell Killson, mr Yellowtongue? Didn’t he trip and die during a game?”

“He sure did. Purely an accident. I know, I know. There are rumours that we at Yellowtongue Agency placed that tripwire..”

“… and the spiked pit, mr Yellowtongue…”

“…right, and the spiked pit. But there is no truth to any of that. But back to Joost. The hardheaded nincompoop had Flash doing line duty game after game. That is, until my assistents Throgg and Gorth had a word with him and upgraded his tactical acumen. Believe me, that wasn’t easy. It’s a miracle he still holds the job but Bam Snyder, the owner, seems to like him.”

“As I said to Jim: very clever mr Yellowtongue. Throgg and Gorth are not the same two trolls as those Dankhold monstrosities that just now accompanied you into the studio as your bodyguards?”

“They are indeed. Very persuasive. Tactical thinkers to a bone. Other people’s bones, often. Shortly after that meeting Flash got more ball carrying reps and my plan of maximising his skills and monetizing them to an obscene amount worked like a treat. Did you see my new golden carriage by the way? The one pulled by 6 unicorns, with the Warpstone Speed Booster? All the rage with the girls nowadays.”

“Fantastic. Thanks so much for joining our show mr. Yellowtongue. Quite the story, eh Bob?”

“Absolutely Jim. What a run, what a player. And what a carriage...”