Many teams have made it to the big leagues of the CFFL - some have persisted, some have folded, while others have been decimated and sent back to whence they came to contemplate life. What follows is a history of all the teams that have proudly stepped onto the pitch to vie for the Grey Cup.
BC Felions Season 1 - present (joined s1w4)
Calgary Vanquishers Season 2 - present
The glorious gals of BC have been a constant presence in the league since almost the beginning. These 'zons have had many great players take to the pitch, but none figure as prominently as the legendary Azar
. She has carried the team to two division titles (season's 1 & 2) and hoisted the Grey Cup for the team in season 2.
Hamilton Tomb Cats Season 4 - present
A team that has arisen from the ashes and broken bones of the Calgary Slayers. Several of their players turned - others taken as pets, ...they planned and plotted for an entire season; and when the time was right - they struck. They are now ready to terrorize the rest of the CFFL - looking for more thralls to swell their ranks! The Vanquishers were the season 3 champions.
Hope Hop-A-Longs Season 4 - present (joined s4w9)
North York Bears Season 4 - present
Quebec Black Carnival mid-Season 1 (joined s1w13) - season 4 (left mid-season)
When the Tiger-Pact folded, many Hamiltonians feared they would not get another club, or worse yet, they would end up with Elves. Thankfully, a new owner with deep pockets was able to import an entire team from Khemri and the Hamilton Tomb Cats were born. While the team continues to adjust to the frigid temperatures of Canuckistan, the crowd still loves their bashing and fouling ways.
Riverdale Greyskins Season 4 - present (joined s4w13)
With Winnipeg pushing the CFFL's debt column deep into the red, the league allowed it's first franchise relocation to Québec City. Rumours persist the move caused the craziest of Winnipeg's fans to go mad and turn into monstrous creatures. That being said, the Black Carnival amazed "La Belle Province" with playoff runs every year. They earned their first CFFL badges in season 3, with two prestigious awards: the Canadian Walk of Fame and Royal Canadian Air Force.Their number one enemy is, and will always be Montreal, and all local TV shows report on "La Série". Unlike typical Elves, the Black Carnival fools their enemies with fake plays and count on their brutal enforcer, Sandrine Malamut
(S3 player of the year). But the path of glory is always risky and several Carnies are now below us, especially the franchise's first two captains, Noryhlik Madhand
and Idaak Clawwarper
. Since then, the team is known to be run without any "official" leaders.
Rottawa Rough Risers Season 1 - present
Rumours have been circulating about the origins of the Riverdale Greyskins, and we might never know the whole truth. Fact is that they are - despite their only recent addition to the league - one of the oldest teams in the CFFL. It was during recent excavations at the mouth of the Don river, performed in the process of housing constructions, when workers uncovered an ancient Indian burial place. To the delight of the quickly summoned archaeologists, it turned out to be a graveyard of a kind they had never seen before. Highly decorated tombs were covered with ornaments displaying an hitherto unknown sport, vaguely resembling the ancient ball game played by the pre-Columbian peoples of Central America. The researchers soon realized that they must have stumbled over the remains of a participating team. Likely sacrificed as a reward for winning a tournament of any sort.
Toronto WAARGHonauts Season 4 - present
The Rough Risers are one of the original teams in the CFFL, some even argue the league was built for them. This rumour has been fuelled by (baseless) claims that the team has special status with the league commissioner and receives kick-backs to support their lavish habits.
Rottawa have established themselves as the black-hatted villains of the league, possibly due to their penchant for fouling. One of their greatest foulers being Abe Alofmygutz
, who was sadly killed by saw-for-hire Max Spleenripper. The necros are also alleged to have brought doping to the league with Russ Hackson
and Gory Organ
. Sadly, both have been forced into retirement.
Vulcan Face-Eaters Season 5 - present
Winnipeg Claw Bombers Season 2 - present
Once again green returns to Toronto. This time however they are gathering under the banner of a new War chief. When readying the team to take the pitch Chief Wraan "Blitz" was heard to be coaching his players oh how to best maim each race they could expect to see in the upcoming season.
The WAAARGHonauts followers keep amassing and are expected to number in the tens of thousands by the start of season four. A few weeks into their practice schedule, one particularly ambitious fan brought a ball for the green-skins to practice with. The WAAARGHonauts quickly added the ball to their game plan. Grunts about its potential to improve armour penetration when used like a club on a prone opponent were most frequent.
Yellowknife Perpetrators mid-Season 3 - present (joined s3w7)
Azure Airstrike Season 1 (12 games)
Enraged at the sale of Winnipeg's Season 1 team Azure Airstrike to Quebec City and the indignity of their renaming to the Quebecois Goth Mime Clowns (or some such nonsense), a secretive Ownership cabal resolved to bring the CFFL back to the coldest city on earth. They sent emissaries to the viscous Choas Warriors of the North End and Beastmen of the Transcona Wilderness offering blood and spoils in return for learning to play.
The Claw Bombers are two time winners of the CFFL's 'The Wall' Award. They have proved they could hit...and hit...and well - hit. Moving the odd shaped ball type thing over the painted white line thing waaay down the field has proven more difficult. Lesser teams have attempted to implicate Buck Pierce, Milt Stegal and Steve 'Iron Man' Morely in the CFFL doping scandal, but all allegations have proved baseless.
Bunibonibee Cree Leaping Lions Season 1 (3 games)
Bunibonibee Cree Leaping Lions
Brandon Cheat Kings Season 3 - 4
Calgary Slayers Season 1
Drumheller Dry Bones Season 3 (6 games)
Dumpsville Inuit mid-Season 1 - Season 2 (joined s1w11)
Dumpsville Goal Miners Season 3 - Season 4
The Drumheller Dry Bones
are undoubtedly the worst team to ever stagger onto the pitch in the CFFL. They struggled through six games at the beginning of season 3 and lost all of them, managing an anemic four touchdowns. The city of Drumheller quickly realized it had been duped, and catching wind the ruse was up, the head coach and owner fled with taxpayer money used to fund the team. The players who had been raised to form the team were put out of their misery a second time and buried so deep that even the archaeologists in the area wouldn't discover their whereabouts.
Edmonsrock EskiRos Season 1 (10 games)
Halifax Hrungnirs FC Season 1 (6 games)
The blue-collar Dwarfs of Dumpsville were always formidable on the pitch, and even won the West Divisional title in season 4, but could never put all the pieces together in the playoffs. They were replaced by a team of professional Elfballers for season 5.
Halifax Hrungnirs FC
Halifax Hrungnirs FC II mid-Season 1 - 2 (joined s1w7)
Halifax Hrungnirs FC III Season 3 (9 games)
Hamilton TigerPact Season 1 - mid-Season 3
Mississauga Misfits Season 3
The Misfits were a skilled team of Elves who could score touch downs almost at will, except when they had no one left to score them. They endured a painful season in the CFFL accumulating all manner of injuries and many fatalities. In the end the mounting hospital bills and inability to secure insurance coverage for season four lead them to fold the franchise.
Mo`real Als Season 1 - 3 (missed first 7 games of s3), Season 5 (3 games)
Sasquishywan Gophers Season 1 - season 4 (left mid-season)
Toratno Rapscallions Season 3
The high flying Mo'real Als bring an all-out aerial passing game to the CFFL. Lead by fan favourite Mike Pringle, they are always dangerous. After sitting out season 4, the demands of the fans were met with their return in season 5 to make another attempt at the championship that has seemed to always be just out of their reach.
Toratno Rapscallions' bio
Toronto Orconaughts Season 1 - Season 2
Waterloo Bulls Season 2 (played 1 game of s3)