“The Red Star Strikers were somewhat nervous following their promotion to the Conferences. Their first game was cancelled when the Orkland Warriors were unable to get to the game due to a Communist inspired bus drivers' strike. Their Round 2 clash saw them come up against Calico Monkey, a Wood Elf outfit wh had regained some key personnel after losing 3-0 when undermanned against So We Are Lifeless, and Undead powerhouse. The Dwarven side were relatively inexperienced compared to the Elves. Reports that the Wood Elves were experiencing a virus were false, and a dodgy batch of juice planted in the Elven dugout was only consumed by arguably their weakest player.

Both teams started slowly, with the Strikers receiving. Klaus Fuchs eventually gained possesion and tried to hide behind the Dwarven wall. However, it was the Elves that were doing all the blocking early. When the Reds were able to lay a glove on their opponents they seemed to lack any sort of force, making their usual brusing game seem impotent. Epic Hurt had been knocked out. Meanwhile, Kliment Voroshilov, the Reds inexperienced Troll Slayer, decided that the crowd might be more dangerous than the dwarf attack and promptly pushed Seven Lengths in to meet the fans. A chink in the armour allowed Howling Force to make an unlikely block against Fuchs, and the ball spilled clear. The ball incredibly bounced back to Force, who attempted to get out of Dodge (ironically, by dodging) and avoid the slower Dwarves. Shadow Hand attempted to provide cover, but tripped over a pothole and knocked himself out, leaving Force exposed. Ho Chi Minh, until now quiet, made the vital blitz and protected the ball for Vyacheslav Molotov to waste some time before scoring. He needn't have bothered however. Thanks to some well thought out pushing around of Matyas Rakosi, Storm Flyer was in a position to receive the Lone Chimp pass and go the extra distance around Mao Zedong to score an equaliser just before the half. Calico Monkey fans directed a chant at Mao afterwards referring to the Chairman as a 'Witches' Hat'.

The Monkey had a full strength lineup going into the second half, somehting that even they may not have predicted. Seven Lengths had escaped unhurt, and both concussed players made a recovery. The Elves started down their left side, with the Strikers moving quickly to pin them. A Chimp pass to Flyer was dropped by the Catcher, but luckily his teammate Seven Lengths, by now enjoying being back on the field, made a miraculous catch and was able to feed it back to Storm Flyer. Flyer was then able to run in the quick touchdown. The Reds meant business on the restart. Ho Chi Minh, deciding enough was enough, smashed Sand Fort and put him out of the game as Fuchs gained possesion. Voroshilov's attempt to introduce Red Sky to the fans failed only because Red Sky couldn't keep his feet. The Woodies tried to back off the Dwarven huddle, hoping to slow them rather than engaging. The Dwarves managed to open a hole in the centre of the pitch. The Reds had underestimated the ability of the Elves to reach Fuchs, but a well placed block by Howling Force was ruined when Force followed up, blocking access to the ball. Force looked more than a little upset as his teammates berated him. From there the Reds were able to get on top. Vladimir Lenin decided to check into the game by putting Epic Hurt out of it. He then made things a little easier by knocking out Force. Crashing Boar knocked down the rampaging Lenin, ho was then fouled by Red Sky. The soft foul was penalised by the referee, who sent off Sky much to the anger of Elven fans. The Dwarves were able to clear away the remaining defenders, including Chimp who was badly hurt, before Fuchs ran in the touchdown for a 2-2 draw.

The draw was a bit of a disappointment for the Strikers. They were perhaps victims of Storm Flyer's incredible luck. The Wood Elven catcher seemed to do the impossible, with an incredible touchdown to end the first half. Even when making mistakes he was lucky, with Seven Lengths miraculously saving the ball to give Flyer his second touchdown. The Reds' attack seemed impotent, and their coach will no doubt be asking his players why they couldn't hurt anyone before the score was already 2-1. For Calico Monkey, I would not want to be Howling Force in the changerooms after this match.

Twahnlow Votes
3 - Storm Flyer

The Calico Monkey catcher made the impossible look easy. Even when fumbling, he couldn't fail.

2 - Lone Chimp

Consistently nailed the passes which ensured good supply to the star catcher.

1 - Crashing Boar

The most prolific blocker for the Elves was always a threat. Howling Force may have got in the votes except for his appalling mistake which may have even cost the Elves the game. It took the shine off two brilliant blocks, a great blitz n the first half and the block immediately preceding his moment of infamy.”