“No-one was more surprised than the coach when his team reached the final, but that was nothing on the shock that reverberated around the locker-room when Ugroth Bolgrot walked in. Earlier in the season, Bolgrot parted from the Outlaws in bad circumstances, but he walked back in for the final. No-one knows where he came from or why, but sources close to the chainsaw wielding maniac have pointed to large shipments of NAF sponsored gold.

Although the very first block of the game saw Girrt Paart leave the pitch on a stretcher, the Outlaws set a strong defence. Beau Nidles began their drive, but were swiftly forced to reverse it in the face of strong blitzing from Eruurt Kirt. The Tomb Guardians showed good teamwork to push their ball carrier free, demonstrating incredible displays of agility. However, the greenskins kept up the pressure, forcing the Khemri team to score early.

With one injured, another knocked out and Bolgrot refusing to come back to the pitch, the Outlaws set up their first offensive drive a man down. However, before long, several skeletons were kncoked unconscious, including the star throw-ra, Waterlooser. Brort Eralg, that elfin Orc, ran the ball in to draw the Orcs level at half-time.

Feeling pretty confident, Rark led his players out after the break. Although the 'star' had now left the ground, the shaman, Oddgit, was still awake and, thanks to their lack of nostrils, the smelling salts were ineffective on the Khemri. The Outlaws continued their good run of luck, as they managed to remove a few more skeletons from the field at the start of the half.

Still, the Tomb Guardians continued to prove their worth, toppling the ball carrier even within a cage. As it bounced free, the Outlaws managed to recover, but Eralg was hit once more. The ball was mired deep in the Orc half, with Khemri players swarming towards it. Fortunately, Oddgit had eaten the right mushrooms today. A pair of tweezers sank from the sky, selecting a blitz-ra, before throwing him out of the stadium. The captain lead the way in flooring a few more Khemri players and Brort Eralg regained his feet, retrieved the ball and spied Kronk Vugduush lurking down-field. The ball flew straight and true, and the lineman raced for the endzone, out of reach of all. Or so he thought.

With the help of a shove from a Guardian, Zubble the Narked sprinted after the Orc with the ball. Running, stumbling, he landed face-first on the astrogranite. As Zubble lay there stunned, the Outlaws number 2 waltzed towards the touchline. As Rark Snotling-Muncher screamed for him to run out the clock, the head coach waved him on and Vugduush scored, giving the Orc team the lead.

With the seconds ticking down in regular time, the two teams set up again. The smelling salts were still not working and the Outlaws read the kick, blitzing forwards while the Khemri were still blinking; it looked bad for the Beau Nidles. However, with some outstanding coaching (and a little assistance from our lord and master, Nuffle), the replacement throw-ra Nubble was able to retrieve and move the ball. Couple with the sudden distraction from the Orcish cheerleaders and a skeleton with glue on his hands, the Khemri team scored a shock equaliser, taking the game into overtime.

Nazgob was unprepared for this. The Outlaws hadn't trained for this eventuality. Beau Nidles won the toss, and elected to receive. It started to snow. The only ray of hope was that the Khemri team lacked a decent doctor; they were still trying to use those pointless smelling salts. Waterlooser was still out.

The Outlaws took their punches well and the armour held. Standing once more, they struck back, breaking skeletal bones. The Beau Nidles players tried their hardest, but, outnumbered, had their work cut out for them. Still, the Tomb Guardians continued to prove their worth. A lucky blitz popped the ball loose and, in the scrum that followed, performance enhancing drugs proved their worth once again as the number 4, Vice-Captain Brort Eralg, made off with the ball.

Unfortunately, the dogged defence and ticking clock worked against him. While the rest of the Outlaws screened, Eralg ran forwards, hindered by the thick snow. Punched to the floor just short of the line, he saw one last chance. While Splurgle and Bar Goblin-Drinker moved into place, Kronk Vugduush headed for the endzone to receive a pass. As he looked over his shoulder for the ball, he tripped, ending up on the floor, as the chrono-wizards sounded the buzzer for the end of the game.

Confused, everyone looked to the referee for instuctions, but he was missing. After five minutes of frustration, he reappeared and awarded the match, and the trophy, to the Badland Outlaws.

Suggestions that Rark Snotling-Muncher threatened the referee's family have been hotly denied by the Orc team.

After the match, the captain had this to say, tears running down his face, "Oiz ovacum. Da boyz az dun uz prowd an we az da trofey. Still, oi mus say dat trollz shud nevva be fed skwig meat; Splurgle spent arf da match in annuvva world."

Commentator's note: the troll spent one third of the match distracted by the invisible gremlins that were running over his squig-addled body.”