“Grotty Little Tournament X - Old Teams I Qualifier: Round Three

"Miracles by their definition are meaningless, only what can happen does happen."
-Dr. Manhattan

For the second match in a row, Watchmen Philosophy took to the pitch against a superior coach and in many regards a superior team. The Ultimate Superheroes have speed, agility and a great defense going for them, while Watchmen Philosophy was forced to rely on the brute force and positioning for which they were built.

At the opening kickoff the wood elves received deep and went with a spread offense, splitting their receivers to the left and right flanks. Sally Jupiter saw an opportunity to take out a key player on the first blitz of the half and succeeded in doing just that. The leaping Daredevil was sent packing after managing just one block. Completely undeterred, the handoff was made to Iron Man III. With a clear path to the goal line and only one go-for-it necessary, he sprinted for paydirt. Unfortunately, Nuffle had other plans. Iron Man III faceplanted on the goal line, coughing up the ball for the chaos side.

Ill positioned for recovering the ball, the heroes of Watchmen Philosophy did their best. But brilliant combined play from Spiderman II and The Thing II led to a beautiful touchdown by the elves. Curses were heard from Watchmen Philosophy's bench, as their coach knew that not many opportunities like that arise in a game against a team of this caliber.

Watchmen Philosophy 0, Ultimate Superheroes 1.

Watchmen Philosophy received on turn 3 and Rorschach lined up deep as added protection for Ozymandias. Evander Whitebone was badly hurt on the line and The Thing II was knocked out of play for the remainder of the half. Mothman finished turn 4 with an ill-planned blitz against Captain America, completing forgetting his boosted super strength. A lucky dodge and go for it kept Mothman in the clear.

The turns continued to evaporate with Watchmen Philosophy making strong blitzes and knocking out more and more players, while the fouling game of Ultimate Superheroes wasn't having the desired effect on the numbers game. Turn 6 saw a beautiful defensive seal on the part of the wood elves, but Ozymandias managed to elude the defense with a dodge and a go-for-it, while Sally Jupiter cleared Iron Man III from the pitch for the remainder of the game. The Ultimate Superheroes were down to six players, but with PeteW directing traffic that's an advantage in most situations.

Captain America blitzed the ball free from Dr. Manhattan, leaving him pinned along the sideline. While Sally Jupiter was again able to come to the rescue by knocking out Captain America II with a blitz, Ozymandias was uncharacteristically poor with his ball-handling skills. Fumbling the ball twice, he left it on the pitch and in range of the exceptionally nimble Bishop II. Rorschach had held Bishop II once already with his enveloping tentacles, but this time the spellcaster hired by Ultimate Superheroes left nothing to chance. Lightning rained from the skies upon Rorschach and he was injured to the point where he would need a few nights stay with the local apothecary. No Qualifiers Final for the big man this time around.

Bishop II, now freed from his chains, dodged into the path cleared by Edward Coldstream and picked up the elusive ball. He heaved it deep to Yorick Quickshield and with that the Ultimate Superheroes had a commanding lead.

Watchmen Philosophy 0, Ultimate Superheroes 2.

The final turn of the first half led to a decision. Inflict further damage, or attempt a one-turn touchdown. Seeing that the only potential for sending the game into overtime was by inflicting more damage, Watchmen Philosophy sent their killers to the line. They did not disappoint, tacking on another casualty to the growing total.

With only six players left to take the field for Ultimate Superheroes, a touchdown seemed a foregone conclusion. But the huge problem that Watchmen Philosophy had to address was the fact that they needed two. A rowdy fan from their side helped matters a bit, placing a solid rock squarely between Ozymandias' eyes on the kickoff. That left the ball out of reach, though the killers on the line did their duty by knocking out all three players on the line of scrimmage. Bishop II and Spiderman II advanced on the ball and on turn 2 Bishop II gathered up the ball on the right flank and heaved it across field to the left flank, challenging Ozymandias to a foot race. Hollis Mason handled Bishop II by knocking him out on the very next turn, while Dollar Bill put a boot into Spiderman II at midfield. With Gambit left as the only remaining defender, the main problems to be solved were time and distance - neither of which was in Watchmen Philosophy's favor.

A beautiful pass from Ozymandias to Mothman, followed by a handoff to Dollar Bill brought the ball into a safe cage. On turn 5, Dollar Bill finished the drive by walking the ball into the endzone.

Watchmen Philosophy 1, Ultimate Superheroes 2.

Despite the fact that they had only four players remaining, the Superheroes were as dangerous as a cornered rat. They had the ability to punt the ball deep at any given time, plus the savvy to protect the ball with their most agile ballcarriers.

Turn 6 saw Hollis Mason put a hit on Captain America II that carted him off the field. With the ball securely in Spiderman II's grasp though, the daunting task of prying it loose still remained. Watchmen Philosophy cautiously advanced, playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the master.

Yorick Quickshield and Gambit held a loose screen for Spiderman II through turns 6 and 7 and only the unskilled Dollar Bill was able to reach Spiderman II for a blitz near the goal line. On the very first try though, Dollar Bill sent the wardancer crashing to the ground and the ball lay tantalizingly close in the endzone. Dollar Bill stumbled as he broke free from Yorick Quickshield, then righted himself and plowed into the endzone, landing on top of the ball as he scored the game-tying touchdown.

Watchmen Philosophy 2, Ultimate Superheroes 2.

Gambit gave a good go at scoring a one-turn touchdown for the Ultimate Superheroes, but tripped as he dodged free from the line of scrimmage. This game was going into overtime.

On the overtime coin toss, tails was called and for the first time in team history Watchmen Philosophy won a coin toss. They opted to receive and set about determining their destiny. Spiderman II was knocked out on the first turn and Gambit followed on the second. Only Bishop II and Yorick Quickshield remained, so The Comedian attempted to collect a few star points by passing the ball around the field. With Rorschach missing for the finals, having another warrior to provide some additional muscle was sorely needed.

Sadly, the fouls on Bishop II did little to help the cause and The Comedian did not get the points he needed to increase his star power. In the end Ozymandias leapt into the endzone in turn 7, sealing the deal for Watchmen Philosophy.

Watchmen Philosophy 3, Ultimate Superheroes 2.

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PeteW, thanks for such a great game. It was a pleasure to play against both you and Qaz in successive rounds and I'm glad that I finally got to cross playing against you off my FUMBBL bucket list - and in a major no less! Here's hoping that next time around we're both playing in the championship. All the best to you and yours, mate.

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