“Ooh, a return customer. Lovely. We welcomed back the Norse who last beat us, intending to show them what real flings are made of, with plenty of casualties up for offer.

Feeling confident, they gave us the ball. Frozen Shoulder couldn't handle the big furries and went off for the day immediately. From there they set about pressing the big timber and smashing into our little fortress behind, Paininthe Neck tried a quick punt, but little hands struggle there and soon enough they had it back, had Lief fouled off via the replacement, and our little blitzers simple couldn't fetch it back. Still, top sales work, casualties everywhere. They surrounded young Ed and knocked him out the same way, then gave us the ball again by scoring with it.

The kick was tricky, so Smash D'Ankle got it to Creaky Knee, Ed back on his feet put him over the top, and he was just a little short. Not bad. Their stripper took the ball away into the crowd, but they threw it back nearby and what if Creaky Knee didn't just dodge through the tackler and pick it up to score! Ha!

A little short for the second, we put the keen sales crew on the front. Ed tied up half the team, and as they ran for the line little legs swarmed over and stole the ball, which the crowd threw over to Ed. Huh, with all their team too. They fumbled it, so we sent one of theirs to the crowd and Luckier Break picked up and hurled it back ... to the crowd, who sent it back to Ed again. Hmm.

They tried a pass to score, but it scattered and we had another go. Post Trauma over to Paininthe Neck, who ran it up and got stripped again, but he picked up, off to Cracked Ribs, all in traffic, and he sprinted to ... the bench for the day. Bit much for his little heart, but a good wee trier.

We hoped they'd spill it again, but this time the passes stuck and they went ahead once more. What's a fling to try but our special magic. Foot Crushed to Post Trauma who flew over and went in at a canter. Just 8 left, two turns, and just four proper sales done, we decided to put it all on the line with a Perfect Defence, and what do you know if Post Trauma didn't grab an intercept!

He ran it deep, fumbled the punt, but it was too much for them and we got the tie, not to mention three more sales! Good day at the shop, that.”