“Coach Gozer faced the throng of reporters at the post-game press conference, and took a sip from his glass of Kroxorade.

"Our guys got greedy in the first half trying to stall with the ball, and the Vampires made them pay a heavy price. They opened up a path to the ball using their Hypnotic Gaze and knocked down the ball carrier. We weren't able to recover it again and the whistle sounded to end the half with the teams deadlocked. Les Vents Pires were down three men though, and I got the guys fired up in the locker room with a rousing speech during halftime, so we went after that ball like it was prize-winning cheese. Eventually we got our grubby little fingers on it, and even ended up clearing the pitch. With nobody left to stop us, we crossed the goal line and scored the winning touchdown. I'm proud of the job we did, but there are still improvements to be made on protecting the ball when we have it. That's all folks, have a great day."”