“No insult to DrDeath - who won comfortably here - but I really wasn't trying in this game. That's not to say I would have won if I'd been trying, I just mean that with sun streaming in through the window and the kids off school and trying to engage me in interminable discussions about Mordheim, City of the Damned (which is their current obsession), my concentration level was at about 10%.

And basically, with Sensation in the condition they are at the moment, any game against a coach with a rating of 170 and a team with more skills and fewer journeymen than us is likely to end in my defeat anyway, whether or not I concentrate.

I did perk up for a few seconds at the kick-off, when my first block resulted in an injury, but oftentimes, to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths, win us with honest trifles, to betray us in deepest consequence.

That's a quote from Macbeth, by the way, but it seemed appropriate. I've often injured an opponent on the very first action of a game and then suffered the following sixteen turns of terrible dice and more injuries than you can shake a stick at. And this was kind of what happened here, as the following couple of turns provided DrDeath with a BH of his own and three, or was it four, KOs.

And an interception. With so many of my players leaving the field I was running out of downfield targets, and realising that it was now or never, I planted the wardancer in the endzone, went for it twice with the thrower to put him in range and hurled a long bomb half the length of the field. Although actually, it only went about three yards before it was caught! And then, because the wardancer didn't have side step, he quickly disappeared out the far side of the endzone.

Oh yes, and the tree fell over, and then took root.

And then he took root again on the high elves' first drive of the second half...or was it on their second drive? Or both? Anyway, he was useless today. Three blocks for no effect. Pathetic.

Somewhere in there I scored, and I did manage to get off a long bomb in the process, but that was about all I have to show for the entire game.

A slight senior moment prevented DrDeath from scoring on his final turn, coming up one yard short. In theory I could have pulled an equaliser out of the bag, with just four dodges, four gfi, a one-dice blitz, a long bomb and catch, a hand-off into a TZ and a further dodge...

...but I failed the first dodge, and then failed the second dodge after a reroll. So that was that.

And now I think I've spent about as long on the match report as I did playing the game, and certainly more concentration (the sun has moved round and the Mordheim questions have morphed into a tedious monologue which is a lot easier to ignore), Now I need a nice cup of tea.

And after the game... still no new players, but probably enough gold to buy a second catcher after the next game. The wardancer picked up mighty blow, so I expect him to be fouled to death in the not too distant future, and the FF went down again.

As for DrDeath, hopefully he'll get to see me at my amazing best at some point, when I show him exactly what it feels like to be humiliated by a coach with a 146 rating, but my advice to him for the moment is, don't hold your breath :-)”