“A bruising game for the 'Glory, in which we bade a sad farewell to the Palace Chef. I wouldn't say it was exactly fun to have the team destroyed, but for the most part at least it wasn't frustrating. We had plans. The dice were equally cruel to both of us. Only one valuable player was lost.

We'd lost the coin toss and kept him in the dugout for the first drive. With only one bribe, we didn't use it on the fanatic and somehow arguing with the ref made a difference, so after the first touchdown I wasn't too concerned.

But by the end of the second half, when our incompetent apothecary could do nothing with a fatality, we were down our doom diver, out a chainsaw and picking the remains of a dead journeyman off the pitch. At 3-0 early in the second half I was bracing myself for a 5-0 loss, so it was some consolation that I only went down 4-0 in the end. Kind of wishing I'd used other inducements than Ripper now (I missed both my bombardier and my pogo, but that's a tale for another match...)”