“The Scoundrels slumped to a 2-1 loss against the battered Blood Crag Stripes.

I'd hoped we'd get a bit more oomph into this game - the sight of weedy skinks was too much to resist - but the goblins self-destructed in impeccable fashion tonight. We didn't protect the ball enough, our chainsaw couldn't pierce even a skink's armour, and we didn't need to have our special weapons banned because they were all off the pitch by the 4th turn. Irene came back just in time to get hurt, and saddest of all, Pinkeye Growthspurt had a season-ending injury that the apothecary just couldn't heal. With only 2 fouls from the plucky little fellow this week, that puts his total at 17 for the season, the worst since he got his Dirty Player badge.

With the hot sun making the trolls faint, we received the second kick off with less than five players, and the second touchdown was never in doubt. I girded my belt for a total failure, but then in a ridiculous turn of events we managed to belt the ball down the field, and Wonton Violence killed a skink (although we have to curse those wandering apothecaries for keeping Fade Sorrow from the Death Watch).

One week to go. Will it be a last chance for glory for the Scoundrels to close out the season?”