“Once again, the Monkees bash their way to a draw.

Things started with typical rodent incompetence; so intent on hitting the opposition, they left the ball wide open with only Irascible marking it, and the West Park swooped in for an early touch down.

But with the Monkees' blood up, that just meant more chances to hit things, which those rats love. Apart from Cuddles, every Rat Ogre on the team took out at least one player, and a nasty foul from one of the loners took Randy out too.

In the second half, having worn the West Park down, it looked like they might get to a 2-1 win over the Monkees, but a combination of the ever reliable tentacles and a lot of luck, the Monkees squashed the Kurgans and held onto half of the cheese.”