“No dice stats again, so you'll just have to take my word for it - seby's first half was about as unlucky as it's possible to suffer. Up until about turn 6, he could do nothing, and I could do everything. Which is why by turn 6 I was already 3-0 ahead.

I started off on offence, and scored a quick TD from a long bomb as usual, and then I settled down to do some defending while I assumed that seby would be walking all over me with his stronger team and scoring fast in reply. But that was not what happened. My kick was quite deep, and well over on the side of the field that the high elves weren't. And basically, in trying to pick up the ball the thrower fumbled. So I ran in and cheekily collected it and the high elves were all too far away to be able to do anything about me scoring on the following turn.

And then I basically did the same again. I think this time it was a failed pass that destroyed the high elf offence, or possibly a failed dodge that resulted in a serious injury, but the result was the same. I ran in, scooped up the ball and scored.

At that point things began to get a little better for seby and he was finally able to roll some dice without them constantly offering him 1s. I tried to slow him down, but basically there was very little I could do to stop him scoring on turn 8 to end the half.

And then he got the ball back to start the second half, but my memory is a bit fuzzy from that point. I remember that he did score a second, and then I dropped a catch with a wardancer who was waiting to score and that led to seby scoring again. But I also picked up a fourth score along the way and I have no idea how.

Anyway, I do remember that the game ended on my favourite play - a long bomb from my side of the half-way line all the way to a receiver already waiting in the endzone.

So a terrible game in many ways. Obviously for seby, he was destroyed by bad dice to the point where it would have taken a miracle - or a couple of blitzes - to steal back the win. Which reminds me, he also had to contend with me rolling perfect defence on two of his offensive drives in the second half.

But it was also terrible for my passing stats. Because I did so much scoring on defence, my poor thrower came away with nothing more than two long bombs for 26 yards. I can't complain about the win (or the new fans, finally) but if it had been the other way round, and seby had been scoring like a maniac, then my passing stats would have probably been a lot higher.

Ah well, any game you walk away from is a good one, whether you win or lose. And hopefully, next time we play, seby will get to play a proper game with proper dice.”