“Anchorage--March 15, 2024

The Anchorage Eskimos kicked off their second season under a twilight moon early this Friday morning. Rain poured in torrents, and the Eskimos were backed by a small-but-dedicated group of fans in the dark gloom atop the mountain.

The Anchorage roster was rather short-staffed for their second-season opening, as fivehead and team trainers decided to give some injured players a more gradual start to their second season. That list includes Ogre Harper Ink (rotator cuff), Blitzer Cassidy Hailey (achilles heel sprain), Lineman Nuri De Vries (concussion), and Lineman Ulf Hoffman (dead).

So all left to tend the bench this game was Hopeful Heckie Mag Raith, who'd see a minute or so of action in the first half before a dropkick by Laithi Upir knocked him unconscious. In the halfling's defense, the match was later than usual, and presumably far past his bedtime.

This match was a strangely fluid one for fivehead and his men; after the match Coach fivehead admitted he didn't know what he was getting into by facing Vampire this week. "The last time I went head-to-head with vamps was against that bastard Oprah, one time too many." He went on to add that "these guys were much more capable, and coached much more gentlemanly than any Vampires I faced back in the day.

In the dark peaks of the mountains outside Anchorage, the morning's matchup was very much a fight against the unknown. It wasn't going to be a simple Thrall-bash as the Eskimos' coaching staff had hoped, try as they might. Blitzer Leopold Hailey stepped up to fill the role of the missing Harper Ink, however, and dealt 3 injuries to the Thrall linemen with ferocious precision. Newcomer Pericles Airaldi would also deliver 2 fouls, the second resulting in his being banned from the match. But the crowd was with him, as fans would go on to chant his name defiantly after his send-off. Still, attrition alone wasn't enough to constitute a successful defense in the first half. In one moment, the Coach Wintergreen-led vampires struck into the endzone and made it 1-0. The Eskimos ran a one-timer kind of play to try and tie it before the half that nearly culminated in a brilliant Clement-Ainsworth connection, but to no avail.

Airaldi's expulsion early in the second half meant the Eskimos found themselves at an even-footed 9 to 9 with the Vampires, a matchup that on paper would be hard to fight their way out of. Sensing their advantage, Coach Wintergreen sent his players to pressure the cage, resulting in a sack on Thrower Brooks Clement. The Eskimos reacted quickly, and Ainsworth would end up weaving out into the Vampires' backfield, ultimately scoring the tying TD with an assist from Lineman Cain Roach.

As the game wound to its end, both teams tried desperately for a second TD, in as much a battle against the clock as against the opposing team. Vampire Upir was dangerously close to throwing a game-winning pass, but in a moment of especially poor weather, runner Fukui Omar was unable to reel in the ball.

With this, the Eskimos finish their third straight game with a score of 1-1. Since returning home, they haven't been able to give their fans a victory, but haven't carried the shame of an L either. The players and staff seem to be working somewhat instrumentally, but in the last stretch haven't been able to turn the corner on a solid victory.

Analysts and superfans also wonder about what changes may come to the roster. Harper Ink is set to return in the next match, but nursing a set of injuries as bad as ever, its worth wondering if he'll make it through another 15-match season. Some are also concerned for Tibbetts, #4 Thrower who's seemed on the verge of a breakout his entire tenure with the team. He was carried off the field by dwarvish medical staff after a gruesome clothesline by Thrall Lineman Doshack Omen in the first half. This could mean another long-term injury for him, and fears are growing on how this will affect his growth.

The Eskimos will bring a full set of Blitzers + Ogre to their next match however, and with as many scares as they'vd had recently, it'll be refreshing to enter a match with full muscle.
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