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Past Players of Kiss the Cooks
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Paulus Hillgrave | Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 7 | Calvin Bootcamp | Halfling | 8 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n |
| 6 | Roger Hafstroem | Halfling | 7 | 10 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, +AG | d |
| 11 | Herman Treepwood | Halfling | 6 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 13 | Quentin Blacktree | Halfling | 12 | 2 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n |
| 12 | Cleetus Mart | Halfling | 16 | 8 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Catch | n, d |
| 11 | Gunther Halstroem | Halfling | 2 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 11 | Thomas Berthold | Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 16 | Reginald Wayne | Halfling | 8 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n, d |
| 8 | Klaus Leatherboots | Halfling | 19 | 15 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Catch | n, n |
| 13 | Samuel Ferguson | Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m |
| 8 | Marcel Jezze | Halfling | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 4 | Joseph Magnus | Halfling | 15 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n |
| 13 | Xaver Strider | Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 12 | Hans Lurgoif | Halfling | 11 | 9 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Sprint | d |
| 11 | Calvin Deer | Halfling | 6 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n, m, -ma |
| 9 | Gunther Treeroot | Halfling | 25 | 35 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, +AG, Catch, Sprint | n, d |
| 8 | Albert Wesker | Halfling | 6 | 1 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 7 | Thomas Needle | Halfling | 13 | 14 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Block | d |
| 6 | Dirk Bigfoot | Halfling | 14 | 22 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Block, Catch | d |
| 4 | Norman Horsecrab | Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 3 | Bernhard Loonhair | Halfling | 26 | 23 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Block, Catch | n, n |
| 2 | Karl Bonehead | Ogre | 21 | 24 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy, Block, +AG | d |
| 1 | Herman Strongarm | Ogre | 3 | 0 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy | d |