| | Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
| 12 | Keep Calm and We're all gonna die | Lineman | 2 | 0 | | n |
| 16 | Keep Calm and Boh | Lineman | 4 | 0 | | d |
| 17 | Yorick Truespike | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 17 | Billy Goldtree | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 7 | Keep Calm and Knock Down that damn Runner | Blitzer | 10 | 18 | Block, Side Step, Dodge, Diving Tackle | d |
| 7 | Keep Calm and Knock Down that damn Runner | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block, Side Step | -av |
| 10 | Kipp Calme en plei ze gheim | Lineman | 5 | 7 | Dodge | d |
| 9 | Keep Calm and Be the Substitute | Lineman | 4 | 5 | | d |
| 2 | Keep Calm and le Bestemmieeeeee | Catcher | 7 | 2 | Catch, Nerves Of Steel | m, -ma |
| 17 | Trey Deepspike | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 14 | Keep Calm and Ovolollolo | Lineman | 12 | 0 | | m, d |
| 10 | Keep Calm and Die Young | Lineman | 3 | 5 | | d |
| 13 | Keep Calm and Stay on the Bench | Lineman | 21 | 11 | Dodge | m, m, m, m, d |
| 12 | Keep Calm and Die on LOS | Lineman | 8 | 5 | | -ma, m, n |
| 8 | Keep Calm and Crack Your Testa Rotta On the Panchina | Lineman | 23 | 14 | Wrestle | -ma, -av |
| 5 | Keep Calm and Perdiamo per Colpa di un Bug | Lineman | 10 | 12 | Kick | d |
| 18 | Leroy Quickbone | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 10 | Keep Calm and Die Young | Lineman | 8 | 0 | | d |
| 5 | Keep Calm and Die Young | Lineman | 2 | 5 | | d |
| 6 | Keep Calm and Roll 2+ | Lineman | 21 | 18 | Dodge, Wrestle | m, m, -av |
| 18 | Tristan Silentfist | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 5 | Ovolollolo | Lineman | 3 | 5 | | d |
| 9 | Keep Calm and Survive (or at least try to do so) | Catcher | 16 | 36 | Catch, Nerves Of Steel, +MA, Dodge, +AG | -av |
| 9 | Keep Calm and Sto Cazzo | Lineman | 2 | 7 | Guard | d |
| 8 | Keep Calm and Win or Die Trying | Lineman | 9 | 10 | Block | m, -av |
| 7 | Keep Calm and "Doh! I buy a thrower instead of a blitzer" | Blitzer | 23 | 28 | Block, Side Step, Dodge, Diving Tackle | m, m, -st |
| 5 | Keep Calm and Fanculo | Lineman | 7 | 6 | Wrestle | m, m, d |
| 8 | Keep Calm and "Doh! I buy a thrower instead of a blitzer" | Blitzer | 4 | 0 | Block, Side Step | -av |
| 9 | Keep Calm and Win or Die Trying | Lineman | 2 | 5 | | d |
| 2 | Keep Calm and Knock Down that damn Runner | Thrower | 14 | 14 | Pass, Dodge | m, -ma |
| 11 | Keep Calm and do not Die too Early | Lineman | 4 | 3 | | n |
| 10 | Keep Calm and Win or Die Trying | Lineman | 4 | 1 | | d |
| 9 | Keep Calm and Die Young | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
| 8 | Keep Calm and don't be Hit | Lineman | 3 | 0 | | -ag, d |
| 7 | Keep Calm and Panic | Lineman | 9 | 10 | | d |
| 6 | Keep Calm and Feel the Pain | Lineman | 14 | 6 | Wrestle | m, d |
| 5 | Keep Calm and Survive (or at least try to do so) | Lineman | 7 | 0 | | d |
| 3 | Keep Calm and Catch that F**king Ball | Catcher | 46 | 96 | Catch, Nerves Of Steel, Dodge, Block, Sure Hands, Side Step, Sure Feet | n |
| 2 | Keep Calm and Knock Down that damn Runner | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block, Side Step | n |
| 1 | Keep Calm and Rough the Passer | Blitzer | 34 | 43 | Block, Side Step, Dodge, Frenzy, Tackle | m, m, m, d |
Gnomes are trash