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Teem Woot Elfz
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Kallador da Bertwatcha
#1
Thrower
MA
5
ST
4
AG
3
AV
8
R
161
B
27
P
10
F
0
G
10
Cp
4
In
0
Cs
2
Td
5
Mvp
3
GPP
38
XPP
0
SPP
38
Injuries
Skills
Pass
Sure Hands
+ST
Block
Kick
Lookit da ladz! Dey train dead 'ard ta be da best, da tuffest, da strongest uv da bunsj! See dat skinny wun uv 'em? Dats da frowa. Anywayz. Wun day at trainin' da coach shoutz "WAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch an' startz ta hit da frowa on da noggin' an' da coach ain't wun ta pull 'iz punsj! Da resun fer da bashin' akkording ta yoors trooly iz dat da coach got mad wif da frowa cuz uv 'im trainin' on his frowing tekknique instead uv on 'iz bashin' tekknique. Da coach set him rite strait since dat and now Mallakiff iz trainin' on da bashin' like wot iz sappost.
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIII - Coachin' Frowaz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Tekklis
#2
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
17
B
77
P
0
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
2
GPP
10
XPP
0
SPP
10
Injuries
Skills
Block
Guard
Tekklis an' Tirijong iz namet afta da 'ardest uv da Hi Elfs. Wun uv 'em iz a dead tuff warrior wot wearz a majikal swort an' a horz an' da uvver wun iz wot uz orkz kallz a weirdboy an' yoo humies kall 'em wizzartz. Gorbad fink da elfz kall 'em majez an' sumtimez sawsaharz. Anywayz. Da Tekklis and Tirijong wot playz on da Woot Elves propa namez iz Morglum an' Morglub. Gorbad finks da reson dat da coach fink uv da namez iz cuz Morglum an' Morglub iz like da burdders Tekklis an' Tirijong cuz dey alwayz train' wif wun anuvver.
Excerpt from Assistant Coach Gorbadz assorted notes.
Tirijong
#3
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
162
B
46
P
1
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
10
Mvp
1
GPP
37
XPP
0
SPP
37
Injuries
Skills
Block
Dodge
Guard
Side Step
Tirijong and Tekklis iz alwayz trainin' wif wun anuvver an' dey train dead 'ard wot makez da coach pleasd as puntsj. Howeva wun day at da trainin' da coach see dat Tekklis an' Tirijong wuz trainin' dodgin' tekkniques insted uv bashin' tekkniques an' da coach shoutz "WAAAAAGH" an' runz on da pitch ta bash sum sense inta da ladz. Wot happen iz dat da coach wanna grab 'em an' bash 'em but da ladz dodge da coach! Afta a while da coach stop tryin' ta bash da ladz an' da coach bersts out laffin'! Gorbad finks dat da coach diskovert a speshul trainin' sekkrit! Yoo see... dodgin' iz not just fer elfs and gobbos wot wanna dodge away from da bashin'! Dodgin' iz also fer da ork ladz wot want to stay in da fikk uv it!
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIII - Coachin' Blitzaz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Elftarijong
#4
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
86
P
-1
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
3
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
11
XPP
0
SPP
11
Injuries
Skills
Block
Tackle
Dreezzt
#5
Blitzer
MA
6
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
53
B
65
P
0
F
1
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
3
Mvp
2
GPP
19
XPP
0
SPP
19
Injuries
Skills
Block
Guard
Tackle
Wen da coach figgerd ta name da ladz wif elfy namez most uv da ladz wuz shawtin' an' hollerin' abawt "'ow stoopid an' pansy elfz namez iz" an' dat "izza deesgraze fer dead 'ard orz ladz runnin' aront bein' namet az wot elfz iz".
Wun uv da blitzas thawt iz woz a rite propa idea, thow, an' inziztet on bein' namet 'Dreezt', but da coach sayz "derez no elf namet 'Dreezt'" an' da coach sayz "elf namez ent wif da fingz az 'merrifallow', 'bertsawng' an' 'geentelbreez'" an' 'e tolt da blitza ta fink uv anuvver name, anyfink uvver dan 'Dreezt' cuz 'Dreezt' izza rite stoopid name evan fer an elf. Da blitza wud 'ave none uv dat an' insistet dat 'Dreezt' iz a name wot a reel famoos dark elfy warjior wot has too magjical sworts an' dat ifn' 'e wuznt allowt ter be da 'Dreezt' wif too magjical sworts den 'e wut not play wit da teem an' 'e stomped 'is feet an' da coach named 'im 'Bertwatcha Fanceefallow' but da blitz onli 'earz wot yooze tell 'im ifn' yooze call i'm 'Dreezt' or 'it 'im inna noggin'.
Excerpt from Assistant Coach Gorbadz assorted notes.
Emmarikk
#6
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
57
P
0
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
0
XPP
0
SPP
0
Injuries
Skills
Faardeenan Whizzleblowwa
#7
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
-2
B
64
P
1
F
0
G
12
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
2
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
9
XPP
0
SPP
9
Injuries
Skills
Block
Awrian King uv da Woots
#8
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
5
AG
2
AV
9
R
9
B
92
P
0
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
4
Td
2
Mvp
1
GPP
19
XPP
0
SPP
19
Injuries
Skills
+ST
Block
Yer wanna coach orcz?
Den lissen 'ard an' lissen gud! If'n yer a grubby nasty stunty, delisjhus elf or sumfing elze az wot iz smaller az wun reglar sizet tuff-az-teef black orz, den yer gonna need ta hire yerself an' assistant coach, like yoors truly, wot helps da coach wif reelaying da speshul coaching tekknikes an' stratejy inna way wot da ladz unnerstans.
Da fing iz, sumtimes wun uv da ladz all uv a sudden sprawts teef, mussles an' iz dead 'ard an' tuffer az wot da coach an' assistant coach iz an' itz impossabl ta coach propa ladz wif WAAGH-spirit if'n' dey tuffer az wot yerself iz. Yer can alwayz 'ire bigga assistant coach witsj iz da reesin fer lotz uv trollz bein' assistant coaches inna orc teem, awlthoo da dawnsite iz da yer hafta watsj afta all uv da assistant coaches an' trollz iz rite propa 'ard werk ta 'ave around. Wot yoors trooly figgerz iz dat wen wun uv da ladz iz dead tuff yer jest leaf 'im alone an' maybe yer tell da git dat naw 'ez da boss-coach an' dat 'ez naw runnin' da teem, cawse if'n 'ez dead tuff da lad izn't inna need uv mor trainin' anywayz an' yer presjus tame iz betta spent wif mor important mattaz sutsj az coachin' da uvver uns an' 'idin' oonlez yer wishin' fer yer teef ta get bashed owt!
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIII - Coachin' Black Orcz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Den lissen 'ard an' lissen gud! If'n yer a grubby nasty stunty, delisjhus elf or sumfing elze az wot iz smaller az wun reglar sizet tuff-az-teef black orz, den yer gonna need ta hire yerself an' assistant coach, like yoors truly, wot helps da coach wif reelaying da speshul coaching tekknikes an' stratejy inna way wot da ladz unnerstans.
Da fing iz, sumtimes wun uv da ladz all uv a sudden sprawts teef, mussles an' iz dead 'ard an' tuffer az wot da coach an' assistant coach iz an' itz impossabl ta coach propa ladz wif WAAGH-spirit if'n' dey tuffer az wot yerself iz. Yer can alwayz 'ire bigga assistant coach witsj iz da reesin fer lotz uv trollz bein' assistant coaches inna orc teem, awlthoo da dawnsite iz da yer hafta watsj afta all uv da assistant coaches an' trollz iz rite propa 'ard werk ta 'ave around. Wot yoors trooly figgerz iz dat wen wun uv da ladz iz dead tuff yer jest leaf 'im alone an' maybe yer tell da git dat naw 'ez da boss-coach an' dat 'ez naw runnin' da teem, cawse if'n 'ez dead tuff da lad izn't inna need uv mor trainin' anywayz an' yer presjus tame iz betta spent wif mor important mattaz sutsj az coachin' da uvver uns an' 'idin' oonlez yer wishin' fer yer teef ta get bashed owt!
Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIII - Coachin' Black Orcz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)
Skwawk da Falkoonir
#9
Black Orc Blocker
MA
4
ST
4
AG
2
AV
9
R
0
B
64
P
0
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
0
XPP
0
SPP
0
Injuries
Skills
Leeggoolaz
#10
Lineman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
11
P
0
F
1
G
13
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
2
XPP
0
SPP
2
Injuries
Skills
Preenze Fanceefallow
#11
Lineman
MA
5
ST
3
AG
3
AV
9
R
0
B
31
P
0
F
0
G
14
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
1
GPP
7
XPP
0
SPP
7
Injuries
Skills
Block