Ok BB fans, I’m here in some far away elven kingdom, named after something that sounds like leaf, crystal, and pale, squeaky men. I am sitting here in the stadium of a High Elf team playing host to Skaven. Both teams are TOUGH, sitting at 228/209 Rats and 225/224 Elves. The coaches are also talented sitting at 155.05 and 167.89 ratings. Should be a good game…

The Rats win the kickoff and elect to receive! The ball soars through the air and the stadium erupts into a roar of squeaks and chitters! There are even some rat fans here making noise!

The ball is picked up by a rookie thrower who scampers deep to his own goal line while the rest of his team scurries forward, deep into elven territory. The elves spread out, going to an elf on rat defense! (Sounds kinky I know, but it’s the elven way)

Rookie thrower hands off to an AG5 lineman, who runs forward to throw a short pass to an eagerly awaiting runner, jumping up and down in the end zone. The agile lineman, in an attempt to show off his agility to the elven crowd, attempts to throw the ball to the runner from between his own legs, only to find himself, bouncing the ball off his own skull and onto the nicely groomed elven pitch.

The elves pounce on the fumbled pass, caging up and running down the opposite sideline towards the skaven end zone! Some interesting things I’ve noticed along the way:

A storm vermin with amazingly large claws has been blitzing every down, with yet no casualties to his name. A rat ogre has been roaring in rage and standing alone the entire first half and the rats have been fouling every turn and finally got a kill on turn 5, but the elven apothecary was on site and saved the elf’s precious, fragile, & crystal-farting life.

Turn 6, the claw storm vermin FINALLY gets an elf! The Blitzer grabbed a very strong lineman by the arm with his impressive claw and pinched until the sounds of bones breaking and elf crying were heard! This lineman will miss the next game.

The elves stall to turn 8 and are making some blocks before the catcher scores and an elf almost falls down, but barely made the block, saving the elves turn and allowing the catcher to score!

Elves - 1 / Skaven - 0

2nd Half! Halftime show was interesting. The elven cheerleaders are remarkably flexible and agile, and I wonder what they might be able to produce, in the form of a blood bowl team, on a very wet and muddy pitch, with tight fitting uniforms, and… cough cough.

Back to the game! Skaven field 11 and Elves field 11. Both sides missing key players. The rats missing a runner with diving tackle and the Elves missing a Dragon Warrior with diving tackle.

Elves get the ball. They blow the front line off, hand the ball to a catcher who runs to the back of his own side to wait for his offense to open up downfield. The skaven charge in flushing the catcher out of his own backfield and he hands off to his thrower, who passes to a downfield catcher, who runs in for a lightening fast touchdown!!

Elves – 2 / Skaven - ZIPPO!

There must be some dope or girls in the skaven box, one coach remarked, because 3 rats haven’t appeared from that box in quite some time. Skaven chicks. How can I remove this mental image from my mind…?

Rats field 10 and Elves field 11.

Rat Ogre tries to block and decides he would rather roar again. Worthless animal that they are, why the rats use them on their teams is beyond me.

The skaven repeat their first half play that had ended in disaster, but take a little more time on this attempt. An elven catcher hits the notorious skaven fouler so hard the fouler was pronounced dead before the hit. The skaven decide enough waiting! Their super agile lineman gets the ball, passes to the eagerly awaiting gutter runner, and this time, doesn’t show off, just underarm pitches the pigskin and the runner catches it for a skaven touchdown!

Elves – 2 / Skaven – 1

The ball is kicked deep to the elves and the elven front line blasts the skaven and the elves target in on the runner that had just scored. An elf grabs the runner by the tail and flings him into the maw of the roaring rat ogre who promptly has himself a mid-game snack. TD Runner: KILLED!!! The thrower picks up the ball retreats and waits for his offense to get open. The skaven succeed in getting a runner on the thrower, but the agile thrower dodges out and gets a hand off to a catcher who runs off downfield! The catcher throws a short pass to another catcher, who runs in for an easy elven touchdown! The stadium erupts into cheers!

Final Elves - 3 / Skaven - 1

Rats MVP was their dead dirty player and their dead runner who had gained a 3 spp TD. This meant that the entire team collected only 3 spp’s and 10k gold.

The elves gained a whopping, 26 spp’s and 80k gold!

My noob opinion on our coaches daring strategies? The skaven were not playing for the win, but for the spp’s. The runner the coach targeted twice for TD’s ended up dead and unless your on a dead team, those spp's are as worthless as the tits on a boar! The team lost as a result of their misguided goals. The elves played to win and guess what? They did. So the lesson here boys and girls? You figure it out!

Now, where are those cheerleaders...

Spectator out!

Link to the game! Hats off to the two coaches! http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=1922859