gregory_n_white
Joined: Jan 05, 2006
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Sep 18, 2009 - 04:06 |
 
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From the decks of "El Bucco", the team ship of the famous Bell Harbour Buccaneers.....
What is that gentle glow in the corner of the Captain's room?
It is his new lamp! Sculpted from the freshly severed head of one of the greatest ever SWL player - Beat II of Agitate.
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Shane70
Joined: Oct 03, 2008
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Nov 09, 2009 - 22:45 |
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And so, after 35 games - 218 Yards Passing, 275 Yards Rushing, 45 Blocks, 1 Memorable Foul, 54 Completed Passes and two hideous Casualties <b>Dollar Bill</b> has chosen to hang up his boots.
Winner of the Silver Boomerang in SWL season 30, Bronze Boomerang in seasons 28 & 29, and the Bronze Arrow in seasons 28 & 29, DB leaves the Watchmen after battling severe knee injuries for the last season.
Nightowl (captain) remembers, "I remember one game, against Torturer's Picnic, he could do no wrong - those Hail Mary Passes were flying left right and centre!"
Dollar Bill leaves the game as the highest Passing / Rushing / Completing Human in the SWL's recorded history... and as of August 2009 was the 3rd highest active Passing human to play in Fumbbl.
Well played Dollar Bill... you will be missed!
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harvestmouse
Joined: May 13, 2007
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Jan 07, 2010 - 14:26 |
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It was all Harvestmouse could do not to drop to his knees, but he had a job to do.
He rushed onto the pitch as fast as he could, it was critical he got there quick, he owed them that. Neilsson was still standing over the downed Chaos Warrior shouting in his face and Boris was on the floor..........he had to get to him before those those......monsters did.
Mouse's eyes connected with Tanilev, his muscles visably straining with drugs administered to him before the game, Tanilev understood imediately, swiftly scooped up his fallen captain, and headed towards the Stallions dugout, Nuriev was lifeless on his shoulder. Behind him the ogre picked up the unconscious freebooter, Neilsson was pulled from his taunting and the team headed towards the lockerroom.
Harvestmouse was last to get back, and was met at the door by head coach Samul Thorstenitz, the ex catcher star. "How is he?" Asked Mouse. "He's awake and fine" replied Thorstenitz.
"And and Stan, how is he?"
"You'll need to speak to the Doc about Stan, I'm I'm not sure........"
Mouse hurried past and headed to the table in the other room. They were all there, Stan being treated by the Doc, Vaniel and Boris, standing. Harvestmouse felt a the weight ease from his shoulders, they were all there and all alive. "How is he Doc?" "Not great Mouse, not great, but he'll be fine in a few weeks" The Doctor grinned "Illiev is a tough one".
"Can I have sometime with them? We have to talk".
"5 minutes mouse, I'll start on Klimov".
The doctor closed the door as he left, and it was just the 5 of them again, Harvestmouse, Boris Nuriev, Vaniel Tanilev, headcoach Samul Thorstenitz and the barely conscious Stan Iliev. Just like old times, but this time was different.
The 5 of them had been through a lot together. Harvestmouse was the first to speak "It's time".
"Aye" agreed Tanilev "We came so close".
Harvestmouse put a hand on Illiev's shoulder "you can retire this time Stan, it's over now". Stan looked away, he couldn't bare to look like the weak one.
"WHY?"
They all looked round, for the first time ever, Boris had lost his composure.
"Why does it have to finish here?" He reiterated.
"We agreed Boris" Mouse said placatingly, "We agreed when Valiminski died we'd give it one more go, our best shot, then call it a day. I owed you guys that, now I owe you your lives, and I plan to see that promise through".
"This isn't over, we can still win it." Said a determined Nuriev through gritted teeth.
Harvestmouse spread his hands "It's finished, its' out of my control, we agreed, I've accepted a new contract in the North, it's over Boris."
Tears started to fill in the captain's eyes "I can't give this up Harvestmouse, please PLEASE give us one more chance, just one more! Thats all I ask". He looked at the others one by one "What do the rest of you say?"
"I'll stay with the team whatever" Stated Thorstenitz quickly.
"I'd be willing to give it another season" Said Tanilev hopefully "I never wanted to retire".
"I don't want to retire either" came a weak voice from the table "I'm back in for another season".
Harvestmouse couldn't believe his ears, what were they thinking! They'd earnt a king's ransom between them and could retire with good health. Why on earth would they want this!
Boris's usual confidence and smile were returning. "Well mouse, the balls in your court, why would give up this chance? What do you say?"
Harvestmouse was stunned "I.........I"
As one they turned their heads to the door, the doctor had returned "5 minutes are up, I need to treat Stan". |
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Redgum
Joined: May 19, 2009
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Jan 08, 2010 - 00:36 |
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*********** DID YOU KNOW? ***********
That despite Redgum's Reptiles losing all seven games in their first SWL Season (Vanguards Ark Regional League XXXIII), their star Saurus 'Euprepio' compiled a massive 17 Twahnlow votes, 5 more than any other regional player, 3 more than any other player in all SWL XXXIII divisions, and the most by a player in the regionals since records began! |
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| Tomay wrote: | | Thanks Redgum, you are a legend... |
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Miyuso
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Mar 26, 2010 - 13:41 |
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This is a SewerBank Financial News Update, bought to you by the team at Rodentvision.
Stung by recent losses of Fortune on the pitch, the CEO of the GoldGrabbers, Gordon Gecko, recently signed a forestry deal with the Scottish Government. This deal has been kept "Hush Hush", as the expected methodology of this project will be a slash and burn.
The Enviromental impact may be severe, but when questioned on this, CEO Gecko merely responded "Greed is Good, Greed is RIGHT"
Further comments from a spokeman of the team dealt with the threat of a possible interuption of the project by a group of Eco-Terrorist who go by the name of the "Woodland Monarchs".
"These BackCountry Tree Hugging Hippies will not stop progess," Stated Deputy CEO Andreas Godde, "and any attempt to do so will result in reprecussions."
This has been an up to date story, Rodentvision, Signing off |
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Patrician
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
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Jul 20, 2010 - 04:26 |
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And you’re on in 5…..4…..3…..2…..
(Queue intro music – Rose Tattoo, We Can’t Be Beaten)
Alright, ladies, gentlemen and the species who dine on their entrails, Eeeeeits Friday Night Bloooooodbooooowl!!!! Let’s hear it for your host, Edie Mig-Wire.
(Queue applause tape, Edie struts in teeth gleaming like burning phosphorous)
Thank you, thank you. This is friday night bloodbowl, coming to you live every week from a new undisclosed location. It cuts down on the bomb threats. Anyway, the race for this year’s title is getting mighty complex. Let’s get tonight’s preview of the last round in the SWL Premier League underway!
The final round has kicked off, with a massive win for Amazon fans. The Fukuoka Fireflies took on Remember Failure, who never looked in the match after a bout of the dreaded Renal Flu ripped through the Rotter’s team camp this week. Remember Failure staff put out a statement following the game stating "Nurgle giveth and Nurgle taketh away"......whatever that means!
With not enough plague-ridden bodies on the field, the Failure struggled against an aggressive Zon lineup, suffering a 1-0 defeat. The win for the Fireflies ensures their place in Premier next season and gives them a shot at the title, although they have to sit back now and pray to Almighty Nuffle for the right results to fall their way.
First on the Fireflies wish list will be a loss for the German Vermin, who are racing home and can steal the title with a win against Dead Rat Walking. The Vermin, previous title winners, can secure an unassailable lead with a win from their next game. However, a draw would leave the Fukuoka Fireflies in the hotseat, pipping the Vermin for the lead on head-to-head basis.
The next result needed for the Amazons is a draw between Mort Avarita and Khemri from the Dwarf. Both these teams are on 16 points and a win for either would put them on 21 points, equal with the Fukuoka Fireflies. And here is where it gets interesting, bloodbowl fans! Mort Avarita would beat the Amazons on a head-to-head basis, however Khemri from the Dwarf and the Zons drew in their Round 3 match. Their Touchdown difference is currently also the same, but a win for the Khemri would put them in the lead here. So, any win in this match will spoil the Fireflies' party!
At the other end of the table, the race against relegation is over for three teams. The Slumbering Skinks and Woodies Reunion Tour, both previous title holders, will head back to the conferences, along with Dead Rat Walking.
The fourth spot for relegation could be filled by any number of teams. A win for either side in the Khemri from the Dwarf vs Mort Avarita game will see the loser out. A draw makes things much more interesting, placing three teams on 18 points and all of them equal on a head-to-head basis! On touchdown difference, Mort Avarita and Remember Failure would stay in Premier!
And what of Premier League for SWL XXXVII? Break out the leotards and lemon ruskies, because things are going to be looking decidedly more Elfy next season. With everyone's favourite Commie dwarves the Red Star Strikers now out of contention for promotion, the only question is will there be three or four elven teams in the big league next season. I’m sure the rock teams are sharpening their kicking boots in anticipation! I know I am!
But let’s not get too distracted, because we still have an SWL Premier’s Title to decide. Its an exciting final round people! Tune in to our live coverage. I’m Edie Mag-Wire, see you next week!
(Queue theme music again, Edie exits the set and lights a big fat cigar) |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Jul 20, 2010 - 07:25 |
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Rumours have been heard around the Wastes that a number of veteran teams and their coaches are returning to the league.
Already Harvestmouse's norse had entered the arena, late in the season but showing interest in a return for next.
Coach Toonie sent out a ragtag bunch of women to help the season finish for one of the Regionals, but eyes were not on the girls, they were on the group of battle scarred veterans sitting on the bench.
Could it be the Angry Asgardians? Was that Patrician the skilled, their team capatain sitting next to Toonie?
Also DemonicLazoth has been seen around the Fringe and tales have been retold of his return with a team next season.
The SWL is abuzz with the closest Premier season in a long time and with coaches returning to the fold, Season XXXVII is looking to be a winner already! |
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DaemonicLazoth
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
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Jul 20, 2010 - 13:46 |
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At the temple the last echos of the morning prayers faded, a group of figures could be seen moving towards the exit concealing robes with the hoodes hung low over their heads they moved with a confidance and grace that left many people wondering. At the enterance they were stopped by an elderly scruator stepped before them. "I know that it has been many months since you last went out to bring redemption to the heathens, let me give you a final blessing before you leave" with that he chanted a prayer of protection and holy vengence. "Go now my daughters and smite the heathens for the glory of Menoth"
And so marks the return of the Daughter of the Flame to the realm of SWL. |
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Never mess with a invisible immovable rod at groin height |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Jul 21, 2010 - 05:51 |
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Toonie watched as the Seattle Sirens left the pitch, "i really can't be doing this anymore, putting inexperienced people out on the pitch."
He thought about how the girls had tried their best but were severely outmatched by teams that had more experience and decided to call a meeting with his staff.
"I have come to a conclusion, Rudi get the boys ready, it's time to return to where we started."
On that note, Rudi Van Winkle left the room with one purpose in mind, he hurried through the town, speaking to various scarred warriors.
They all gathered at the gates to the Asgardome, where coach Toonie unlocked the massive doors.
Toonie turned and with a huge grin on his face, he shouted "the House of Pain is reopen for business!" |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Jul 28, 2010 - 14:51 |
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***Cue wind chimey sound to represent the dreamy drifty sequence of doing one of them memory whatsit scenes***
As soon as Luo entered the team dugout, he knew something was up. The team was gathered into two more or less equal groups, at opposite ends of the room. Glancing keenly at his key players, he narrowed the problem down to Tamalli and Xoxi, who were glaring at each other with cold menace in their reptilian eyes.
"Ok lads, what seems to be the problem then, 'ey?" Luo asked mock-jovially, eyes darting back and forth between the teams heavy hitters.
Xoxi ponderously swung his head to stare cooly at his Coach. A series of guttural growls barked from his throat, striking his clenched fist decisively into an open palm.
Luo raised a brow, and cast a slightly desperate glance over at his old #9, ohu`Atl, who rolled his eyes with a slightly wry grin, and hobbled over to Coach Luo's side.
"Seemsz the boysz isz fightin' ovah who getsz to be Capten of the team, Bossz," the diminutive lizardman lisped. "Lucky sez young Tamalli hasz had 'iz chancesz, and now it'sz time fer 'wiser headsz to prevail'"
Luo coughed nervously and looked over at Tamalli, who had vehemently made his opinion known, his crest almost trembling with indignity.
ohu chuckled. "Seemsz Hotztuff ovah there won't take the pitch if Xoxi isz out there, Boss."
"Oh? Is that so?" Luo's eyes narrowed into gleaming green slits as he carefully considered his current Captain. "I think that can be arranged..."
***Dream sequence end. Subconcious error. Reboot? Y/N...***
So, the Lizzies enter into their 7th season with a new captain at the helm. Can they sail a steady course through season 37, and finally get some gold to grace the trophy cabinet? Will the returning Coaches put a spanner in the works? Will Tomay finally stick with a team for more than three seasons?
Tune in next week, same bbtime, same bbchannel... Channel BB! |
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Balle2000
Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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Jul 29, 2010 - 17:06 |
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*** Now, over to the Trial of Blood scene, where there is a new arrival from the North. However, it is not one of the new SWL entrants that is receiving attention...
Rumours has it that the Cathay Cobras are scouring the wastes looking for new draftees.
The Karak Und Wardens have already felt the cunning of the Cobra punch.
Post-match the aching Dwarf team were duly supplied a month's worth of Reggiemite.
This, of course, was to help ease the pain of this unsuspected shafting at the fists of the Cobras.
The Cobras coach issued the following statement following the game:
"Who's next?!" |
Last edited by Balle2000 on %b %11, %2014 - %18:%Aug; edited 1 time in total |
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Tomay
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
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Jul 30, 2010 - 09:46 |
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<b>Awards</b>
Welcome to the first SWL Awards Ceremony for XXXVI. This new awards system will occur seasonally and will replace the former Twahnlow Awards and the old SWL Hall of Fame. The SWL Awards are the most prestigious accolades players, coaches and teams can earn in the Southern Wastes. The SWL Awards include:
<b>SWL Coach of the Season:</b>
For the best performing coach in the entire league. This is the greatest honour a coach can receive in SWL, probably in FUMBBL and possibly in Blood Bowl period.
<b>SWL Rising Star:</b>
Awarded in recognition of a new coaches accomplishments, or to a coach who has significantly improved during the season. This award is reserved for future Premiership Calibre coaches who may one day earn the SWL Coach of the Season Award.
<b>SWL's Most Valuable Player:</b>
Awarded to the best player on any team throughout the course of a season. As far as individual players are concerned this is the greatest honour they can receive in the SWL.
<b>The Duke Snakefield Medal:</b>
Awarded to the best player during the season on the Premiership winning team. This medal represents individual leadership in the quest for SWL's greatest piece of silverware; the SWL Premiership Trophy.
In Addition to the SWL Awards, the ceremony will induct players, coaches and teams into the new SWL Hall of Fame. Induction into the SWL Hall of Fame is the greatest honour a player, coach or team can receive and is specially reserved for those who have had a significant impact on the SWL and it's history.
<b>Eligibility:</b>A player or team is only eligible for the hall of fame if they have been inactive (via retirement or death) in the SWL League for at least 3 seasons. Coaches may be inducted at any time, even if they are still active.
<b>Nominations:</b> Fans or players can nominate eligible SWL Hall of Fame inductees via PM to myself during the course of the season. This PM must provide a link to the player, team or coach the person wishes to nominate and can optionally contain a few reasons why the nominee should be selected.
<b>Selection:</b> The selection committee meets at the conclusion of the season to go through the nominees and choose the recipients of the Hall of Fame induction. Only three players, two teams and one coach maximum may be selected for the Hall of Fame each season. Previous nominations will carry over to the next season for possible selection.
<b>Inductees:</b> The selected players, teams and coaches will then be officially inducted into the SWL Hall of Fame.
<u><b>Now to the SWL Awards Ceremony for XXXVI. </u></b>
<u>SWL Coach of the Season</u>
<b>PJJ</b> for his excellent effort coaching an understrength Rotters team in the Premiership Division and remaining competitive every match and contending the title to the end. Impressive effort.
<u>SWL Rising Star award</u>
<b>Redgum</b> for his vast improvement during the season. After a start of 4/1/19 in SWL many were expecting the Reptiles to be easy beats in the conferences. Instead, Redgum coached the Reptiles to a 3-3-1 season, finishing in third place.
<u>SWL's Most Valuable Player</u>
<b>Banded Rat</b> for his impressive 13 TD season. Banded rat scored 13! out of 16 TD's for Good, Bad, Furry during the season, single handedly ensuring they remained in the conferences for another season.
<u>The Duke Snakefield Medal</u>
<b>Richard Randall</b>. Richard was the difference maker in the Premiership winning game vs Khemri from the Dwarf. Displaying his leadership when it mattered most, he managed an impressive 4 Casualties to swing the match in Mort Avaritia's favour.
<u><b>Hall of Fame Class of XXXVI</b></u>
Players:
<b>Duke Snakefield:</b>
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=278353
45 TD's, 35 Casulties, 246 SPP, what more is there to say, he's the Duke.
<b>The Replacement:</b>
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=2473960
Averaging 1.2 CAS per game with 80 casulties in 66 games, The Replacement is the most deadly player in SWL's history.
<b>Blax Landric:</b>
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=281091
First Legend of the SWL. Blax scored 50 TD's in 68 games for the Blue Mountain Dragons, earning 200 SPP. A feat that hasn't been matched since.
Teams:
<b>League of Exhumed Gentlemen</b>
The First team to win the SWL Premiership, this team started it all.
<b>Southside Stone Smashers</b>
Recently voted the greatest team in SWL History, the SSS dominated the SWL winning two prem titles and finishing runners up once. At one stage they went on a 19 match winning streak, something that may never be achieved in the SWL again.
Coach:
<b>Twahn:</b>
He established the SWL and was the first ever commissioner. He won a Premiership title and coached the great Duke Snakefield. Without him the SWL wouldn't exist. |
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Join now and "Create a Legend" |
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Pjj
Joined: Oct 09, 2008
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Aug 02, 2010 - 14:43 |
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Well, I'm both pleasantly surprised and honoured to recieve such a prestigious award!
Thanks have to go out to both my opponents (for bashing each other as hard or harder than they do me!) and my wizard dealer, who I have made copiously wealthy despite his poor performance :/
Hopefully I can back it up next season by actually winning some matches! |
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Tomay
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
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Aug 03, 2010 - 06:02 |
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<b>Southern Wastes Magazine</b>
<b><u>SPORTS</b></u>
<i><b>Season XXXVIII Preview</i></b>
The Southern Wastes League Season 38 is widely hyped as the most exciting season in recent history. The returns of former coaching heavyweights Toonie, DemonicLazoth, Chunky and Uncle_Smed has the Southern Wastes community buzzing. The results for the SWL can already be seen by a sharp increase in ticket sales upon the announcement of the schedule yesterday. A number of match-ups appear to be very exciting this season.
The match between the Angry Asgardians and Slumbering Skink was sold out within 10 minutes of the draw being released. The teams have met a staggering six times in the past with the skinks taking out five of the matches and with a draw. On the other side the Asgardians have inflicted 27 casulties in the 6 times they have met. This rivalry is a must watch game for all fans of the SWL.
There are a number of Premiership games that promise to be interesting, especially towards the end of the season. Early betting has been strong for Patrician coached team the Woodland Monarchs to clinch the title, however history suggests his coaching suffers under the pressure of the big time in the latter stages of the season. With the Fukuoka Fireflies just missing out last season and starting this season with an arguably stronger roster many are predicting them to take out the title. Everything, as always is up in the air with the Premiership this season and its almost a surety that someone will surprise. The only thing we can be sure of is lots of blood for Mort Avaritia, but will they remember the ball?
<b><i>New SWL Awards Controversy</i></b>
Amongst the fans of the SWL there has been a lot of discussion about the new SWL Awards ceremony. While much of the talk has been positive, there is a lot of controversy surrounding the awards system. The exclusion of active teams from Hall of Fame entry is the main talking point, with many writing angry letters to the SWL Awards committee, demanding teams such as Slumbering Skink be inducted immediately. Rumours have it that the SWL Award Committee will look at changing the ruling for this season's awards.
There has been Riots from fans of the Less Than Fantasy coach Relezite after he was overlooked for the SWL Rising Star Award. Rudgum Reptiles' fans on the other hand are still celebrating the award for their team's coach Redgum and many proclaim it as a sign of things to come. Should the teams ever meet, expect a pitch invasion or two.
Perhaps the most discussed topic in the whole Southern Wastes at the moment is the inductees for the Class of Season 38 to the SWL Hall of Fame. Get those nominations in fans for the teams, coaches and players you think deserve immortalisation.
Some bookies are taking bets for the awards and many have coach Snorri as favourite to take out the coach of the season. Other favorite's include Lord Byron for the Duke Snakefield Medal, and Banded Rat to back up his effort with a repeat win of SWL MVP. |
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Join now and "Create a Legend" |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Aug 03, 2010 - 06:37 |
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<b>Southern Wastes Magazine</b>
<b><u>GOSSIP COLUMN</b></u>
Greetinz Fleshbags! It's nearly time for Season 37 to kick off, so the SWL Insider thought he would take the time to interview some of the coaches (both old and new), and discover their impressions about the upcoming competition.
Amongst all of the new draftees in the competition, one has stood out amongst the rest, if only for the amount of gossip generated! Coach Tomay, (formerly of Primetime Rebirth, formerly of Stardom aNd Mayhem, formerly of Power Money Sex, formerly of 'The Druchii Enlightenment'), has decided it's time to redress a certain imbalance. Abandoning his battered Dark Elves, Tomay managed to scrape together an unruly mob of Orcs to start causing mayhem among the lower divisions. Rumour has it that Tomay has a 'grudge list' of sorts, comprising of a number of coaches that he felt has wronged him in the past.
In other news, it appears that a number of former SWL coaches have returned to the fold. We caught up with oldtimer Uncle Smed. When asked how he rated the other coaches in the Regional divisions with him, Uncle Smed had this to say:
“<Uncle_Smed> Oh...
<Uncle_Smed> I don't .. really know... who they are.”
Indeed.
We turn now to the Premier division. Early favourite Patrician was too busy with pre-season training and planning to comment, but bobsarmy, coach of the Defilers, had this to say about his teams chances:
“<bobsarmy> cant be bothered floggin a dead horse”
Strange words. Perhaps the pressure of a Premiership season has already affected him?
Controversy has also risen its ugly head, with a new awards system replacing the old Twahnlow voting system. The new SWL Hall of Fame awards have already stirred the pot, with dramatic comments from Slumbering Skink coach Faulcon:
“<Faulcon> what's with those three wimps
<Faulcon> I take my eye of the forum for a season and you put those three no names up instead of Xies
<Faulcon> Uhm, not to put down duke snakefield, sure he was kind of ok I guess”
not to mention THIS bombshell:
“<Faulcon> The skinks will never be in the hall of fame”
Strong words!
Well, thats all from us here for now. We'll be bringing you more hard-hitting, serious stories, and totally in-context quotes as the season progresses, so stay tuned!
Oh, and don't forget! Knock 'em down, and KICK 'EM INNA FORK!
the SWL Insider |
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