| Poll |
| Who is teh sexiest OBBA star? |
| The Duke |
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49% |
[ 26 ] |
| The Duke |
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50% |
[ 27 ] |
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| Total Votes : 53 |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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 Posted:
Sep 15, 2015 - 20:03 |
 
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OBBA Championship Season 23, Round 1 Commentary
Arsenal 1-2 Fulham
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3715592
Bing bang bong, gentlemen! Season starts with a tasty little derby between them hoity toity frenchified passers of the pigskin, the mighty Arse, and the hard-workin blue-collar stinkers known as the Fallen; booyashaka, innit?! The ball flew, bouncy bouncy - oh what a good time - but the Fallen brought the pain, out CASing them north london foreign-types 5-1, and taking the game 2-1 to boot. Post-match opinion? Not enough foulin, good sirs! And why were the pies eight quid each!? For the love of all that is holy!!!!
Bristol Reavers 1 - 1 Madchester City XI
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3716131
City, city, who the f**k are city? The oil-rich dorfs, dripping in their ill-wrought gold, traveled south on a specially-chartered Virgin train to play the ever-present Reavers. You can see the match report by following the game link - oh what a beautiful day! - but for now, let's just say this: game of two halves, eh, old chum? Post-match opinion? Why only 10 fouls, ya soft southern pooftas!?
Le Zebre Toro 0 - 1 Bury'd
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3715590
Put em down, and kick em all aboot. Worked for Bury'd here, who brought the butt-pain to the Chaos Dorfs with 6 recorded fouls! Bammo. Not the highest total for the week, but at least them zombies were making an effort. Game saw two notable RIPS too, with Le Zebre's CD Blocker Lichtsteinder
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?player_id=10572194
biting the dust, which Bury saw the fall of the mighty Mummy Necrolle Southall
https://fumbbl.com/p/player?player_id=9436465
, which has got to be a blow for their season aspirations! Post-match opinion? Boots n' all, baby; boot's n all.
Bath City 2 - 1 Stanforc Brigade
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3716806
What's this? Bath winning a match? Is it April already? Way hey the #Romans! With that filthy Pig of Paradise taking the lead with 2 CAS, Bath ripped into the Brigade, snorting aboot like piggies in a trough, which they are, of course. King Bladud was pleased. All hai! Stanforc lost a noob blizter, Courtois, whose career ended almost before it began. Sads. Post-match opinion? When in Rome, take a Bath; When in Bath, take a Roam, Billy Connolly stylee!
Peterboro 2- 0 Daggerinhand Redbeards
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3715617
The not-so-dark-horse Dark Elves of Peterboro (terrible place, awful train station!) set out there stall here, with a competent 2-0 win to establish them as early season favourites! (week 2 seems to have confirmed this). The Dorfs Daggers tried their best to bash-the-hell-out of the Elves, but them sneaky eastern buggers just kept scoring. It's gonna be hard to stop them this season, but we'll try!!!  Post-match opinion? Elves? We don't need not stinking badges, err, elves! |
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Last edited by pythrr on %b %16, %2015 - %05:%Sep; edited 3 times in total |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 15, 2015 - 20:13 |
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@Village_Idiot - I hate you so much (but great write-up nonetheless) |
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nerf indigo 2016 |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 16, 2015 - 00:52 |
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Bwaha! Well, if my on-pitch performance isn't likely to make anyone cry soon, I have to find other means... |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 16, 2015 - 21:53 |
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OBBA Championship season 23, round 2.
Fulham Fallen 0 - 4 Bristol Reavers.
https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=3719665
The Reavers made the long bumpy cart trip along the rain-soaked and rutted A4 to the home of the Fallen. With the westerly gales at their back all the way, and the rains from the Western sea chasing them eastward, they could tell that this was going to be a wet muddy affair. And, as it turned out, the rain fell heavy for the entire game, turning the pitch into a quagmire, into which sank the dreams and hopes of Fulham.
Reavers kicked off, and - catching the Fallen on their heels - blitzed forward, moving towards the deep kick. Still, a long from the ball, they came. Fulham saw the danger, and started a plan, which failed miserably due to dice (the start of a long pattern in this game). Both down, rr, skull/both down, and the warrior fell. The mistep allowed the orcs to get numbers on the ball, and they scored in T3, with Applejack Sid scoring the first of his THREE touchdowns! Kick off, again the orcs came, pressure incarnate! The Fallen moved, but the ball was slippery! Oh noes! It bounced, almost out of trouble, but then! But then! Sid pounced, stealing da ball and making is 2-0 at the half.
Receiving in the second half, the Reavers soon made it 3-0 vs the hapless Fallen, as the dice were not their friend today. Boom bang bong, it went on. And there was still time for a frankly silly 4th Orc TD, after an Orcish quad skulls was immediately followed by a Nurgle doubleskulls (no RR)...
In the mud, we stoop to conquer.
FORZA OBBA!
(and awful dice DT, awful). |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 16, 2015 - 23:36 |
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Is Applejack Sid the new The Duke? Will time tell or will he fall flat on his face? |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 16, 2015 - 23:48 |
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Well, he just got MNGed for rd 4, but he has scored 4 TDs in his last 2 games. |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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 Posted:
Sep 18, 2015 - 04:51 |
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PHILADELPHIA WAAAGH RETURNS TO MLS; ALLEGATIONS LEVELED AGAINST OBBA LEADERSHIP
(all is well)
Da Pit - The papers yesterday were ablaze with news of the immediate withdrawal of Real Salt Ape from MLS subsequent to their disastrous encounter with the Vancouver WHITE Walkers. Quote coach Not_Village_Idiot:
"Look, maybe we could absorb the death of three of our players in one match, a match that also placed four goals against us. But losing Lalo Apenandez on the opening drive is just too much. He was the best player on my roster. Yeah, he knew that, and he liked to rub it in my face, but it was the truth. We came to the MLS to improve our financial position, not bleed money and talent. I mean, the amount of bribes, err, "fees" you need to pay just to make it to the locker-room, the sponsors just aren't keeping up. So we're pursuing other opportunities. Effective immediately. Real Salt Ape apologizes for its fans, but-- Oh excuse me, I mean, we apologize to our fans for the inconvenience."
This shocking event was followed up by an announcement this morning by the OBBA commish that the Real Salt Ape slot would be filled by the Philadelphia WAAAGH!, which had been active in the MLS for four seasons. Quote the commissioner: "Yeah, Real Salt Ape pulling out like that put us in a real bind, those bastards. Simyin teams, I really hate-- I mean, sorry no, love em. Love the poo-flinging, flea-infested stinky monkeys to death. But we've got obligations, some of which are financial, and some of which are blatant coercion, with regards to the number of events we provide in a given season. So when a team flakes out, it puts us in a real bind, as I was saying. So we're lucky that the WAAAGH was still burning villages in the area, and could be persuaded to return on such short notice. We should all be real grateful, honestly. Though I do recommend staying clear of WAAAGH fans, those SOBs. That's what they call themselves. Really helps with the feeling of gratitude, staying clear of them. Just generally improves your constitution, really, it does. OK, it's time to get the fook out, or to pay me more. Off with yee."
We have since uncovered facts that places additional light on recent events.
According to reliable witnesses, Lalo Apenandez had grown dissatisfied by his team's performance, which he blamed squarely on the shoddy leadership of the team's coach. He was about to (violently) replace the coach, and alledegly, he had the support of some of Real Salt's management, as well as many of its players. Including two who died in the same match.
Instead, his armor appeared to show signs of sabotage, while a drawing of the failures was found in the Vancouver dugout. The longtime APO of Real Salt Ape apparently was seen exacerbating the injuries, though admittedly, that's the least unusual component of this story.
Further, the Philadelphia WAAAGH has been sighted by numerous sources to have been back at their former barracks for several days prior to the fateful match. These same sources allege that significant sums of money changed hands between the OBBA, the Philadelphia WAAGH, Real Salt Lake and the Vancouver WHITE Walkers, in a complex configuration that might have actually cost most parties some money. Somehow.
Confronted with these facts, the WAAAGH coach, Village_Idiot, had this to say:
"Oh, err, that's an awful lot of information you're conjuring together there on short notice, missus. Almost like you're making it up. Who are your sources then, eh? The bards at the local tavern?"
-"No sir, they're largely WAAAGH players."
"Ah, haha, well, they're id--... erm, those lads, they're just having a laugh, see? At your expense. Very sorry but... Excuse me a second... OY! YOU SHITEATING SCUMBAGS, YES, YOU! ALL OF YOU! IT'S NOT A SECRET PLOT IF YOU TELL EVERYONE WITH A PAIR O TITS, NOW INNIT? YOU-- Oh, you're still here lassie? Well, you're a very clever little girl, with your 'investigating', but I think you should know that certain stories just happen to coincide with an increased incidence of bashed-in skulls, crushed hands, and cut off fingers. It's uncanny, really. But as they say, correlation doesn't prove causation, don't they? There's a good lass, off with you!"
And there you have it, readers. This is Sue Bizzibody signing off from aboard a ship to location where my savings go a loooooong way.
In other news:
DC United and their coach, Cavetroll, are anticipated to whine extensively at this news.
Philadelphia WAAAGH has announced that it's old policy of offering a bounty to any team that kills a Simyin is intact, and retro-active for this season. As an example, they indicate that the WHITE Walkers are due 150,000 the next time they face the WAAAGH. |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 19, 2015 - 00:47 |
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pooflinging monkeys |
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DeZigma
Joined: Aug 21, 2011
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 12:37 |
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Nuffel knows how to joke... Robert Jarni was known as one of the fastes football players! |
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luxyluxo
Joined: Nov 26, 2012
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 20:07 |
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+++ NORTHERN CONFERENCE ROUND 2 – IT IS GRIM UP HERE +++
FC FOOTSTAMP V FC ROTTEN BAYERN
This was a clash between 2 hated enemies of the lesser Chaos powers Tzeentch and Nurgle. There were no touch downs scored in this match which is acceptable as everyone knows it is not about how much you win or lose by, but how many opposition players you can injure or kill. It is all about blood glorious blood! But even though Phil2K blocked his heart out in the name of the Changer of Ways and even though FC Rotten Bayern completely out blocked their Tzeentch opposition there was not one injury!! The only SPP points handed out were to Dasher the Beastman and Rheuma ( longest surname ever) .
The disappointing thing for the fans was that this was supposed to match to judge whom was the greatest Lesser Chaos power (everyone know the Blood God is the undisputed king), but both teams managed disappointly to nullify each other. Which proves that Khorne is the only true God … BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
GREEN BAY LADY PACKERS V QUEENS PACT RANGERS
Again another disappointing match on the injury front, not a single injury !!! The Green Bay Lady Packers were obviously wearing their most flattering outfits again, which induced lust rather than blood rage, so obviously Queens Pact Rangers are a Slaanesh aligned outfit and were more concerned about the after match activities with the Green Bay Ladys rather than doing the right thing and injuring them on the pitch ! However, QPR managed to keep their lustful thoughts at Bay long enough to allow the Renegadge Gobbo ( probably the only player to not like Human women, unless in a pie) to sneak through the Amazon defence to score . The Khorne Worshipping Celtic Chaos will be looking forward to playing the Slaaneshsi scum in the not too distant future and providing lots of BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
++ BREAKING NEWS ++
Ratelona, were rumoured to have been digging a tunnel South towards Lustria to participate in the Lustrian leagues. However, their Warpstone compass had other ideas and after months of tunnelling Ratelona popped out in the Northern Conference right in the middle of one of the Northern Conference teams sleeping quarters. Now after so much digging you could imagine Ratelona were a little hungry, so after gassing the occupants they proceed to feast upon them and they were mighty tasty.
After wondering why one of the Northern Conference teams had not turned up to any of it fixtures the league commissioners decided to make an unannounced visit ( backed up by a couple of hundred Norse men) to discover a RATS NEST. After the initial shock it was decided that as Ratelona had shown such initiative that they should be allowed to join the Northern Conference, replacing the team they had eaten.
The first match up for Ratelona is Cardiff Crusaders and these Daffodil wearing Galacticos better watch out that they are not the next course for Ratelona!
+++Further news+++
A proper Grim Chaos storm struck the Celtic Chaos`s home ground and due to such favour been shown to Khorne`s favourite blood letting followers it was decided to hand them a 2-0 win . Though all the ground staff had to be scarified as a result, but it is cheaper to maintain a concrete pitch than a grass one . |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 20:17 |
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| Village_Idiot wrote: | PHILADELPHIA WAAAGH RETURNS TO MLS; ALLEGATIONS LEVELED AGAINST OBBA LEADERSHIP
(all is well)
In other news:
DC United and their coach, Cavetroll, are anticipated to whine extensively at this news.
Philadelphia WAAAGH has announced that it's old policy of offering a bounty to any team that kills a Simyin is intact, and retro-active for this season. As an example, they indicate that the WHITE Walkers are due 150,000 the next time they face the WAAAGH. |
You, sir, are a bonafide pansy and a quitter. I will show you where you can stick your bounty. Ook ook! |
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nerf indigo 2016 |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 20:26 |
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^^ Oo, dat be fightin' talk! |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 20:36 |
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| pythrr wrote: | | ^^ Oo, dat be fightin' talk! |
And you, sir, are a filthy bribe-taker. You, you... BLATTER, you! |
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nerf indigo 2016 |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 20:40 |
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I've heard all sorts of foul mouthedness in my time, but never that. Sir, I am shocked!  |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 21, 2015 - 23:35 |
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| Cavetroll wrote: |
You, sir, are a bonafide pansy and a quitter. I will show you where you can stick your bounty. Ook ook! |
Round 9 can't happen soon enough.
hang on, let's see if I have enough bribe money laying around tog et the commish to arrange a mid-season "exhibition" match between our two teams, see what that does for your lineup.
;p |
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