| Poll |
| Who is teh sexiest OBBA star? |
| The Duke |
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49% |
[ 26 ] |
| The Duke |
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50% |
[ 27 ] |
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| Total Votes : 53 |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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 Posted:
Sep 22, 2015 - 00:11 |
 
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| Cavetroll wrote: | | pythrr wrote: | | ^^ Oo, dat be fightin' talk! |
And you, sir, are a filthy bribe-taker. You, you... BLATTER, you! |
You try saying no the WAAAUGH. |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 22, 2015 - 03:38 |
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| pythrr wrote: |
You try saying no the WAAAUGH. |
How we do it:
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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| Posted:
Sep 22, 2015 - 22:39 |
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https://fumbbl.com/p/match?op=view&id=3721523
In the third round of the OBBA league one, PSV Enthoven faced a team that was long deemed lost. Royal Valhalladolik, last seen in OBBA season 8. When the Royal Valhalladolik entered the pitch the crowd immediately went silent, and then started sharing memories of the ancient past, of their glorious League Two championship with TD difference of +9 and a CAS difference of +16. But... The Elves and Ents of PSV Enthoven did not fear the frenzy berserkers at all... "We have our own Frenzy Berserker! We've got Van Nistelrooij!", they shouted.
PSV kicked off for the first half. In their first turn, Royal Valhalladolik KO'ed two elves, managed to block the tree prone, and built a very secure cage around their AG4 blodge ball carrier. The PSV players became somewhat less self-confident... But the subsequent PSV turn, Mateja Kezman, the recently contracted rookie catcher, managed to bring back the morale of the team by killing Pedro Lopez, the AG4 berserker of Valhalladolik. Unfortunately for PSV the apo managed to patch up Pedro.
In turn 2, the tree went down again and the norse cage advanced several squares. But in our subsequent turn, star players Ruud van Nistelrooij and Luc Nilis showed why they get paid the highest salary in the team. Nilis darelessly leaped right into the middle of the Mighty Blow spammed norse cage. Van Nistelrooij followed him, blitzed the ball loose, dodged away, picked up the ball in a tackle zone and escaped in one piece. In the next turn he sprinted towards the end-zone and scored a lightning quick 1-0. This is the why the spectators keep going to the stadium every week!!!
The remainder of the 2nd half Valhalladolid tried to break through the elvish wall but it didn't look very dangerous. The PSV players became sloppy and expected to go into half time with 1-0. But... some very nice gallery play from the norsemen, involving a dodge and a pass, brought back the excitement in the game. Even after Van Nistelrooij floored the ball carrier, the freshly patched up Pedro Lopez picked up the ball, handed it off to the simple lineman Luis Prieto who managed to score in turn 8! 1-1! The viking crowed cheered! What a nice play! This is the why the spectators keep going to the stadium every week!!!
The 2nd half offensive drive from PSV looked very solid in the beginning. The treeman was very mobile and could continuously defend the cage corner and advance through the field. René van de Kerkhof killed berserker Sesma in a well placed block. But, the norse put up the pressure and started to remove several elves off the pitch. They even fouled MA9 one turn scoring threat Hans van Breukelen to death, but the apo managed to patch him up. After a few turns, 4 elves were out and the cage was surrounded by norsemen. Stalling was no longer an option. Van Nistelrooij cleared the path and the rookie catcher Kezman, who already caused a death, now also dodged out of the cage and scored a touchdown. 2-1!
The norsemen had 3 turns to react with an 11 to 8 numerical advantage. After smashing the hip of Jan Heintze by a good foul, and after Van Nistelrooij KO'd himself from a double skull block the situation started to look grim for PSV. 11 to 6 numerical advantage for Valhalladolid and 2 turn to go. Some manmarking delayed the advance but lead to more elves being removed. In the last turn, AG4 blodger Victor needed to do a handoff to allow berserker Marcos to score. The crowd started shouting and stomping. Marcos hád to score. It was an open target! But alas... Marcos proved to be very susceptible to the pressure that the crowd and team mates, and last but not least himself, put on him. He started sweating and dropped the ball from his slippery hands even with team reroll.
So Nuffle saved the day again and the game ended in 2-1 victory for PSV. Stay tuned to the PSV channel for future match reports! |
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DeZigma
Joined: Aug 21, 2011
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Sep 22, 2015 - 23:26 |
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Oh Jesus...these MLS guys! No idea bout football, but great commercials! |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 23, 2015 - 00:00 |
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| DeZigma wrote: | | Oh Jesus...these MLS guys! No idea bout football, but great commercials! |
Bend it like Sir David of Beckingham! |
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DeZigma
Joined: Aug 21, 2011
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| Posted:
Sep 23, 2015 - 00:08 |
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Oh Jesus, Sir David Backham ... He a Sir... England is falling!!
Isaac, please, hit him with an Apple! |
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awambawamb
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 23, 2015 - 23:47 |
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OBBA Championship Season 23 - Round 3 match reporrrrrt
*WARNING: this text may contain literary depictions of nuts. Consult your local masonic lodge before reading further.*
FC United of Middenheim 1-2 Hellas Verdona
So our first match outside was a loss, but that was only because of BOOBZ. Against pointy-earz, we tried to do REAL BLOODSHE... BLOODBOWL! Having heard the elvish matchup, the stars Fungus and Nobbla decided to join the carnage!
We don't know if our fans were excited for a match against the stinkiest of all races, or galvanized by the previous bloodshed, but this time there were a whopping NINE THOUSANDS gobs at the arena, outnumbering a mere 6000 elves watching, and the WAAAAAGHHHH was the right fuel to boost our tiny heroes!
In the first half, we studied them. YES! we let them score whilst taking a blofzorp (it's a big number) of notes to develop a tactic for the second half.
Then a squig ate all the papers and we were like "so wat now?" but our genius troll, Rafael, had a brilliant idea: SQUEEZE EM ALL! And OH BOY WE SQUEEZED.
We have interviewed Rafael about the second half:
| Rafael wrote: | The late half of the second half only half of stinkies could stay on their feet and half. A halfling showed up but said "hey I'm half done here" and halfed away. Then some tiny half-orcs (were they... gobz?) scored I think half the double of twice that is half the half of the half of turns I've played, or so it seems. I am only half sure of what happened, because I was halfway to grab the passing halfling half done in the second half."
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...scoring a final result of 2-1 against pointy earz!
And after the match, we are proud to announce that our past player, Rafael Márquez, has come back from the klinik and he's ready to smash opponent's kneecaps again!
FEAR THE GREEN!
FORZA OBBA! |
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"la virtù sta nel cielo e nella terra, ma anche nelle nuvole e nelle stelle"
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Subs
Joined: Jun 12, 2013
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 00:19 |
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League One breaking Newz: Round two of the glorious season 23 of the magnificent OBBA league!
Hello, i'm Subs, your favorite french journalist, english ignorant and totally unbiased commentator!
Let's see what we got today for all the blood addicted fanz we have here!
First game:
Bearded game between the Norses of the Royal Valhalladolik and the Chaos Dwarves of the Red Zharr-Hellgrade! Nobbla play for the chaotics but didnt make a great game:a too visible foul result in an early expulsion... Stars suck! The Norses score in first half et take profit of Hobgobz legendary clumsiness to score another one in second. Quite a one-way game, "Les nabots ont pris cher!"would say General Charles de Gaule leaving the stadium and before recovering his spectral form... 2-0
Second game:
The odious underworlderz of the SpVgg Underhacking want to take revenge against the superb Naoned Olympic Spiked Shoe, proud and glorious human team, in our second game! The clever human coach managed to inflict to the doubious SpVgg, a cruel 3-0 during the OBBA League Cup and the deceitful crew was spiked in his bestial pride! That is doubtless the reason of the turn 16 exploit that the skavens and gobbos made, to pull out the win: Under the rain and in a tackle zone, a gobbo receive the hand-off, was throw and score through the heartbroken human line, this horrible victory touchdown!Coco Channel would have declare "Ce match pue!" 2-1
Third game:
The experienced Wood Elves of the PSV Enthoven against the bloodyfull middle class Chaos Dwarves of the Torpedo Wigan for an true explosive game! Two deads and four touchdowns is all that the fanz want in a good game!Add to this, bribe, babes, wizard and Zzargh Madeye and add again, fanz riots, gangfouls and a one turn touchdown and the cocktail could drive you crazy! Just listen to the interview we made with the coach of the PSV, Medon:
"Today the PSV Enthoven had to face the mighty Torpedo Wigan on the pitch. Torpedo played sverly up in TV and might even have hired Morg 'n Thorg, but decided to spend the money on bribes, wizards and Zzargh Madeye instead.
Torpedo got the first offense drive. Zzargh Madeye took the ball. Besides the suspense of a fireball, there was now also the suspense of a hail mary pass in the air. They managed to KO wardancer Luc Nilis in turn 2. We tried to get some revenge by two turns of gang fouling on bull cnetaur Kir Rabalou, but the ref didn't like this approach and sent passer Andrés Guardado home. We tried some attacks on the cage but the dwarfs didn't want to get pow'd to the ground. In the end, the break tackle on the bull centaurs could advance the cage fast enough to score in turn 8. 0-1 behind!
Both catchers Kezman and Van Breukelen went to their position on the Line of Scrimmage in turn 8. The crowd got silent. Would there be the miracle of a 1ttd? The crowd got so excited that it got out of hand. A small fight between man and wife on the first row about who should get the next round of beers got worse and worse and the whole crowd started rioting. The ref put the clock back 1 turn allowing giving our team more time to score back. Hans van Breukelen and Ruud van Nistelrooij quickly ran towards Torpedo's backfield. Minotour Krnos tried to stop Van Nistelrooij from scoring, but experienced lots of skulls during his blitz action, allowing Van Nistelrooij to score in our turn 8. 1-1!
The second half started with a good defense drive from our side. Torpedo's team was scattered, the ball was secure and the scorers in place, and hobgoblin Koluz got killed by a good punch from Ruud Gullit. But then, the unthinkable happened. A sudden thunderstorm passed by, and lightning stroke directly at our star ball player Van Nistelrooij, badly hurting him in the process! Eye witnesses saw a strange cloaked guy with a staff, long beard and a pointy hat near the dug out at the time of the thunderstorm. Luckily enough, our apothecary could patch Van Nistelrooij up so he would be ready for the next drive again.
The attempt to stop the Bull Centaurs from approaching wasn't very succesful. Their break tackle dodges got them easily out of harms way. Our treeman rooted so he couldn't play a role either. We got so despaate we even started to throw -2D blocks at the bull centaurs. In the end, it didn;t help and Torpedo managed to score 1-2 in turn 7.
Game over... or so we thought! Again catchers Kezman and Van Breukelen went to the line of scrimmage. This time, a Quick Snap allowed Van Breukelen to snekily move one square into Torpeo's half. This would be just enough for him to reach the endzone with his 9 MA and sprint. Wilfred Bouma picked up the ball... he ran towards Van Breukelen and threw the quick pass... on target! Van Breukelen caught the pass and sprinted towards the endzone.... go for it roll [2] go for it roll [3] go for it roll [6].. HE MADE IT!! 2-2 in turn 8!
Game over! Or so we thought! Again a riot on in the crowd, giving torpedo 2 turns to strike back. The bull centaurs and Samiz the hobgiblin ran into my half. We gave all we could. Van Nistelrooij killed poor Samiz. All the lineelves gathered around the bull centaurs to stop them. And this time it worked! A misclick on a three dice block brought bull centaur Ferufezan to the ground. Game over! Really!" Lots of emotions there, for a great game, "Quel putain de match!" would say King Louis XIV! 2-2
Fourth game:
Take some Elves with a babe and a wizzard and put them all together in a large working blender and you'll obtain the same result as if they had meet the Symians team of our fourth game! Indeed, 2 elves will not play the next game and two others will never play again... The Elverton BBC are the elves and the Emirate Stadium Swingers are the Symians. In the first half and under the snow, The Symians form the gorilla cage around the ball and patiently break elves heads around like frozen coconuts. Despite some good defensive elves moves, the Swingers score easily turn 8 with only 4 elves remaining on the pitch! The ice on the grass deprive the Elverton of a nice last turn one turn touchdown with a failed GFI... The second drive begin and the Elves receive with only 7 players. With a real fighting spirit and a good fireball from the wizzard, they manage to bore the Symian lines and score a quick touchdown turn 2. They are now 7 in defense and the swingers look angry... And the gorilla cage come back and the bloody ballet on ice could start again: turn 5 will be the real apex of the second drive, when the first elve blitzer slip another time on the black ice after a magnificent leap to blitz with one dice the ball carrer... After that turn over, the second blitzer will be seriously injured and the game quite ended. Reduced to 5, 4 and soon 3 with a failed leap of the remaining Elve blitzer, the Elverton players cant play anymore and the Symians score the victory touchdown turn 16, quietly. Le Marquis de Sade would have anonymously declared"Une telle fessée ça donne des idées!" 2-1
Fifth game:
The Dwarves of the FFC Tyrol Nainsbrück look to have not reach the Glassjaw Strangers stadium. Nurgle coach declare that the giant stain of ebulating mould which grow all around his stadium have nothing to do with this fact... It's a draw have decided the Great League Arbitrator Pythrr! So it is.
That's all for this second round mates!
Thx for reading that sheet, excuse my english and see you on the pitch!
--Subs |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 02:16 |
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nice one subs! |
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CanvasBack
Joined: Jan 15, 2007
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 04:52 |
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FC Edmonton vs St. Louis Steamrollers, St. Louis wins 2 – 0.
Living up to their name, the Steamrollers flattened FC in all too typical fashion. A short lived appearance on behalf of the Necros by Star Player Hack n Slash was not enough to close the gap in experience between the two teams. Edmonton started with the ball to open the first half. In what appeared to be a promising drive, Pat Baker and Greg Villa of St. Louis were removed from the pitch, the latter by the improperly placed instep of Edmonton’s own Daryl Fordyce. Known throughout the league as a dirty player, the referee’s keen eye and sharp hearing detected Daryl’s mischief and promptly sent him off. In the meantime, Edmonton’s #1 Wight Matt Vanoekel had been KO’d by Steve Trittschuh, the second Troll Slayer selected by St. Louis. The First Troll Slayer, Sam Bick, badly hurt zombie Albert Watson. Watson would soon reanimate and shuffle off to the reserve box. Another zombie made his way to the KO box at the hands of Jeff Cacciatore. Slobo Illjevski, if that really is his name, badly hurt yet another zombie only to have it reconstitute itself in the reserves box.
With dwindling options, Eddie Edward II, wight, dodged away from Dwarven runner Don Ebert to complete a pass to Thiego de Freitas, Flesh Golem. However the impromptu screenplay never got legs as werewolf Tomas Granitto II tripped trying to get away from Sam Bick. Bick, with the assistance of his teammates easily knocked the ball loose from de Freitas. After Tony Glavin fumbled the ball in an attempt to chuck the ball to Don Ebert deep in Edmonton’s backfield, a brief flash of a fireball on the pitch ended up being so much sound and fury, signifying nothing. Thoroughly outnumbered, Edmonton was helpless to do anything and to close out Turn 6, St. Louis scored off of a handoff from runner Glavin to Ebert. Desperate play by Edmonton to close out the half almost resulted in another dwarf touchdown. Mercifully for the Necros the half ended.
The second half was much the same story, although, a crazed fan did chuck a rock at one of the troll slayers and an ill-formed dwarven cage was penetrated Edmonton, the Necros simply could not complete the play and get the ball and keep it for themselves. A late touchdown by St. Louis sealed the match, holding Edmonton scoreless in both halves.
Seattle Pounders vs. Chimpanzee United, Seattle wins 2-0.
The match started badly for United, as #3 Aperto Gorrille suffered a smashed hand as yet another irate fan threw a rock onto the pitch, just as the match was getting under way He will not be appearing in the next match! In short order, United lost the services of the Mighty Zug, who despite his Simyin appearance is actually a human hailing from the Empire. Xlint Demsentl may have put a little extra toe claw into Zug but the referee seems to have missed the call. This match quickly became a master class in fouling, both in what to do and what not to do. Apoplectic apes tried to foul back but in doing so left one half of the pitch wide open to the lizard ball carrier and his screen. A stall ensued that lasted most of the first half and though United almost broke through to the ball carrier in the closing seconds, the hapless apes could not bring Stefanotl Rjitzla down.
A bit of drama to start the second half as the Pounders blitzed off the kickoff. Victor Mansaratl, #13 skink, got under the ball and actually caught it. He was left unsupported by his team and several apes converged on him. Donape Rumsfeld, #4 Gorilla, managed to kill him outright and pick up the still bloody ball. The game remained very dirty, both coaches fouled with abandon. It worked out better for the Seattle Pounders though and once they got the ball back from the apes, they once again applied the stall and won out 2-0.
Milan Gladiators vs. Real Salt Ape [OBBA], Milan wins 2 -0
This was strange game to watch and make no mistake, it was the closest of the 2-0 results. Milan won the toss and elected to receive. RSAOBBA made the shocking decision to play well back of their front 3 on defense. While a dubious decision in the eyes of many coaches around the league, it almost worked! The front 3 apes got smashed but the humans were only able to score on turn 8 after a series of desperate plays. No stall here!
Early on in the second half, Salt Ape got the ball to Carlos Apecedo. Gorilla #4. The apes’ shakey cage was breaking down and Carlos broke for the end zone midway through the half. While admittedly dexterous for a gorilla, he managed to trip over the goal line and drop the ball before scoring! That was all Super Star Thrower Oguchi Oneywu needed to scoop the ball, pass it to catcher Dominic Adiyah who took it to midway point in the field only to assist his teammates with some more blocking against the apes! The apes had one shot to get the ball back and they blew it big time. Dominic was then able to run free and apply a mini stall. Ultimately, the seasoned veteran handed off to rookie blitzer Suso who took it in to ice the game. Had Apecedo not tripped over the goal line, it is an open question whether the hairless apes would have been able to put the offense together necessary to win. As it stands, Milan takes the 2 -0 victory.
Columbus Death Crew vs. Vancouver WHITE Walkers, Vancouver 1-0
Sometimes the great game of Blood Bowl produces thrilling matches that are talked about for decades after they are played. This is not one of them. After winning the toss, Vancouver appeared to try and score quickly in the first half but could not effectively set up the sideline cage. Columbus took advantage by promptly blitzing the ball carrier and taking him down. The reward for this solid play was that the ball bounced into stands and the crowd threw it back to midfield where Vancouver ultimately recovered it. After some shambling around by both sides, Vancouver managed to cross the goal line in turn 8.
To open the second half, Columbus had some trouble picking up the ball. Midway through the half both werewolves formed an ill-advised, binary sideline screen where Chad Barkson II was one space away from the sideline and Hector Merguezz III was two squares south of him. Vancouver’s The BUG! (ghoul) manage to get a blitz on the ball carrier with an assist from Nigel Reo-Coker. Never underestimate the value of GUARD! Columbus managed to get the ball back briefly but could never quite turn the corner on Vancouver’s defense. Both teams struggled mightily but no one scored in the second half. Of note, Veteran zombie Gershon Koffie of Vancouver was seriously injured in what amounted to a series of meaningless plays. It is unclear whether he will remain on the team as his toughness is now being questioned. But for what it’s worth, Vancouver won.
D. Cong United v. Temper Bay Mutiny, CONCESSION in favor of D. Cong United!
Rampant boot play results in tears and the shame of a concession. D. Cong United’s coach Cavetroll’s comments stand on their own merits. Admittedly, Temper Bay suffered mightily up to the point of the concession. But with only 3 more opponent turns to go, one might wonder if it might have been better to stick it out and actually get some winnings to help the marauder bench rebound. |
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"When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him." R.A. Lafferty |
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AdyBrooke
Joined: Jun 06, 2012
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 21:30 |
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Championship Round 2. Highlights
An exciting round with 12 TD's and thrills and spills.
Bristol Reavers vs Fulham Fallen
Kick-off here at the cottage in the pouring rain, the orcs of Bristol are quickest off the mark. A dropped catch from Fulham....And Bristol score!
A fine kick lands in the Fulham end zone, Black Orc Thomas Whistledown injured from a solid block, Fulham in the ascendancy? Applejack Sid sprints down field blitz's and picks up the ball in the end zone... TD!
The fans are rioting!
Closing stages of the first half, another failed pass..
The Beast of Nurgle is down, we won't be seeing him for the rest of the match.
2nd half, the fans are loving this match.
Bristol get an early break though, Fulham can't get back, Applejack Sid sprints in for TD!
Fulham fail to retreave the ball, Bristol charge in knocking Konchesky from the field, hand off and score for the Orcs...
4-0 decisive win for Bristol.
Arsenal v Bath City
Bath kick, Arsenal take the ball and a quick pass to Danny Welbeck!
Welbeck leaps clear of the Bath attack. No he's down Bath have the ball.
Fireball... 3 down in the cage... Ball carrier still standing though.
Welbeck tales out the ball carrier. Arsenal fumble the pass. 0-0 at half time.
Rock. Bath are down a man. Vidar won't be back this match.
The ball is knocked loose, Arsenal take advantage and charge forward.
Welbeck scores
Welbeck snatches the ball and charges forward and scores again.
Welbeck blitz's and snatches the ball.
Welbeck saved by Apo!
finishes 2-0
Stanforc brigade vs Madchester City
A traditional brawl expected Orcs vs Dwarves, let’s see what this one brings.
As expected an early brawl in the centre, the dwarves sneak through to blitz the orc thrower, it’s a disaster for the dwarves (Double skull), the fighting continues the orcs now have a distinct advantage with 2 dwarves on the apo’s table next week, and The Special One runs in for a TD before half time.
Another injury for the dwarves early in the second half, not so serious but he won’t be back this match, the dwarves might struggle from here. A brave break from Sergio but he is brought down by the chasing orcs. A fourth injury for the dwarves and the orcs shield the ball taking their time now.
In a spectacular move the dwarves claim the ball and just fail to complete a massive pass and a chance to equalise, however the orcs scurry back and reclaim the ball and a deserved 1-0 victory.
Le Zebre Toro vs Daggerinhand Redbeards
Axley hangs back with the ball for the Redbeards whilst a mass brawl ensues in the centre. Then a dash forward and a throw down field to nothing. The chase is on the dwarves almost there when Gigi the bull centaur biltz’s and collects the ball. Bull centaur to bull centaur pass is dropped. The ball is recovered by the Redbeards pass and score!
Half time and chainsaw and a chaos dwarf banned, bull centaur BH. Redbeards one dwarf BH and quickly another BH. Gigi grabs the ball and off down field, caught by a couple of dwarves but help arrives and both are smashed away, TD for Gigi. An attempted run down field by Axley for the winner is foiled by Gigi and Axley is stretchered off. Full time 1-1
Bury’d vs Peterboro Un-united
The dark elves run rampant first half with two quick TD’s the undead just can’t keep hold of the ball, a late run from the two ghouls down the flank brought to an end when the ball carrier is surfed off the pitch by a blitzing witch elf. Half time. Second half the dark elves are unstoppable despite losing a star blitzer and an assassin both dead and a runner out with a fractured arm they go on to score a third. Ends 3-0 a deserved victory for Peterboro. |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 22:16 |
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Nice write up. Sums up my game very well, things flying from the sky and losing the game thusly. |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 23:09 |
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**Smack Talk**
So I'm now a fan of the WAAAGH! They (and Bath City) are the only teams in OBBA who are rated over 2000tv. The rest of you are filthy minmaxers! |
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DatMonsta
Joined: May 27, 2009
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 23:23 |
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Or just missing some players every game^^ |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 24, 2015 - 23:50 |
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Sounds like some sort of filthy minmax conspiracy to me. |
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