Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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 Posted:
Sep 10, 2004 - 17:05 |
 
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Live Footage from the Kazikam:
A sheepish looking outfit shuffle in to the Karaz Krasherz change rooms shortly after the finish of the Karaz Krasherz vs Calen Caretakers regional. They all look terribly pleased about hiding something.
On the far side of the room, Kami is still looking a bit groggy after a brutal blow early on, but bouncing back with his usual gobbo resilience. Obviously not in on the secret, he starts getting irritated at the ladz reticence...cept for the customary scruffle (a ruffle of what passes for Kami's scraggly mop of hair - supposedly for good luck).
Despite their utter lack of acting ability, the ladz manage to keep the secret for a few minutes, much to Kami's irritation. Just as the silence seemed about to split, down at the far end of the room a booming voice belts out a thundering "WHACK!". A few chuckles. A few seconds later..."CRUUNCH!"...chortles..."SMASH!"....unabated laughter...."BAM!". And in the midst of the commotion, Stompa's doing the <b>stomp</b> to a chorus of crunching sounds and waauuugh's comin from the rest of the lads.
Kami realises what's up and rushes out on to the paddock just in time to see the last of a wagonload of woodie's being carried off the field. "Aight ladz!" he yells into the big space above and beams with glee. At last it begins! |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %22, %2004 - %17:%Sep; edited 1 time in total |
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Dark_Lord
Joined: Sep 13, 2003
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Sep 10, 2004 - 15:19 |
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They say, everyone loves an underdog. Then everyone should love the Creepers.
The Creepers next match against the Southside Stone Smashers will be their 18th consecutive game as underdogs, and by underdogs I mean the team with the lower rating.
GO CREEPERS!!! |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Sep 10, 2004 - 04:07 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Well dear readers it seems the planets have finally realigned themselves in a way that pleases the Shadow Void!
The Crowes have taken the first step in shaking themselves out of their dire slump. For only their 2nd time ever the kids scored 3 TDs and kept the Fyord Frollikars scoreless to notch up a win in the SW Conference. All up not much of a contest as the Frollikars ale sponsors had put on a major piss-up inthe dug-out and they took any excuse they could to sneak off the pitch and get into it. 4 in the KO box almost all game with more jumping in whenever they could. The only player to really shine for them was Fresion Cowson. The big Mino scored himself a triple treat with 3 CAS 1 BH 1 SI (with niggle) and 1 RIP. Yup, the curse of the Jealous family was evident as JealousAgain fell to this rampaging beast and the apoth just couldn't put him back together again. Lions is already hard at work on his latest song for his fallen friend..."You May Have Done Nuthin...But You Were Our MVP"All up a delightful return to form for the horns and let's hope they can carry on with the job!
Match Report |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Sep 02, 2004 - 12:58 |
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United def Dragons On The Wire
Yes, the two old foes squared off in a grudge match that has been shaping up for 3 seasons now. Carlton United have been copping an absolute pasting on Channel BB for a number of seasons now from the Blue Mountain Dragons and their insane skipper Vladim Oslobahn. Usually this media war has been waged over the dubious sexuality of Carlton captain Duke Snakefield but to put it mildly, the rivalry is intense.
The match itself though failed to live up to expectations. Carlton drove down the field first and managed to hold off the Dragons defence as they stalled and time wasted their way to the lead.
The Dragons failed on offence to tie the scores before the break but managed to do so from a TD from star Dragons catcher Blax Landric. Unfortunately the Dragons seemed more interested in taking down the Carlton players and even forced Duke Snakefield into the crowd. This again slowed the game down as a spectacle and many of the crowd began hurling their beer steins (empty of course!) onto the field in disgust.
At 1-1 with little time on the clock, the Carlton offence sprang a remarkable play to tie the game, but it came from a woeful missed block by the Dragons skipper himself and with the line wide open, Carlton scored on the bell.
My point in this rather bland review? Well my point is that these two teams, for all their guile and experience showed very little skill and very little tactical nouse. Was this match deserved of Premier League status? Hardly not! I see better games in Regional C than this putrid display and I call upon Commissioners Twahn and Whippy to do something about it!
The SWL Premier League is in trouble! There is a need for fresh blood! And hopefully it will come from Oslobahn and Snakefield before the season is out! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Sep 02, 2004 - 12:45 |
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Bob Borc: Well lads! Figure ya all miss me inbetween reports so much ya might be keen for the latest teknology can bring! I'll be bringing SWL matchup scores *live* to your very channel! Stay tuned!
( JoeK forgive my presumption for using Bob - but figured he was perfect, having a lengthy swl history to boot! If you want to give me some personalisations aka one line comments on the game please do!
If it seems I've missed including your team (probably mispelled it) send me a PM and I'll get onto it.
ps No stunty teams in yet, just qpool and divisional. ) |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Sep 02, 2004 - 05:32 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Sorry dear readers this has taken so long but I am reporting from hidden alcove deep under the Black Crowes locker room and things are NOT good. Coming off their most succesful picnic ever (semi final loss to I-House, the eventual winners) hopes were high in the pre-season camp for the new Conference division season. Trouble early as HFC went missing and the kids didn't get a game. Lethargy creeped in and when they finally got to round 2 it seemed they just forgot how to play. Missing blocks, fumbbling balls and just not playing with any fire.
round 3 was even more distressing as they rolled over to a Khermi outfit. As you can imagine the GREAT UNSEEN is none too happy with his charges. He has managed to completly erase all match reports hoping in some insane way that if their is no record perhaps there was no game! Alas the points table has not been fooled.
There has been unconfirmed rumours of the axe being sharpened in an attempt to bully this wayward herd back into form. The Shadow Void has been rumbling with the thunder of discontent and if the next game isn't played with some old school style I fear the reprucussions could be extreme.
I will lay low and hope to seperate the fact from the fiction in this developing ugly story. Fear for me dear reader as you fear for the Crowes...we are ALL in deep trouble! |
_________________
Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Aug 31, 2004 - 13:23 |
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Footage from the Kazikam in the change rooms shortly after the finish of the Karaz Krasherz vs Horny Toads regional:
Bonza, Bombastik Bomba and Stompa all struggled post match to find a way to sneak into the dingy dark recessess of their closets in the change rooms. It was almost comical. Stompa's closet busted at the seams like a piece of balsa wood and he was seen trying to hide behind the toothpicks that remained.
The problem was...the wrath of Kami was bound to come striding through that door any minute with all the fury of a giant.
An entire game of football and none of the boyz could do more than tickle a skink. Finally, the mighty goober Kami had taken some time from playing the ball to hold up 3 sauruses and rip the tail off a skink, seriously injurying him in the process to show the foolz how it was done.
Booming footsteps approached...when you're a black orc, or a troll, there simply ain't nowhere to hide from a goober. |
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andycapp
Joined: May 26, 2004
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Aug 23, 2004 - 02:55 |
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Kooshee here reporting live from outside Wanna Beatin's training camp. Does my hair look alright?
<Director> Kooshee you idiot, we're on radio. Besides, you have no hair!
<Kooshee> well, umm, err, yes. ... Are you sure this isn't the Blue Mountains? I mean it's flat, desolate, smelly and all, but I was told I would be getting the Dragons this week.
<Director> Just do your damn job, Kooshee. Get on with it so we can get out of here! Why do they call you Kooshee anyway?
<Kooshee> No need to be rude about it. So, as I was saying, Koshee here reporting from *KOOSH*
(Kooshee is smacked to the ground by a stampeding band of Orcs)
<Director> Oh, that's why. That must've hurt. I'll take over... Hey guys! Over here! It's the Wanna Beatin team in the flesh ... err ... is that what you call that green stuff?
<DaFlinga> Gimme dat mic'.
<Director> No, I'll interview you guys - it'll be great!
(DaSmasha, DaBasha and DaCrasha lean in towards the Director)
<Director> ok, ok. seeing that you asked so nicely and all ...
<DaFlinga> We'z Wanna Beatin! We'z Wanna Beatin!
<DaLobba> Gimme dat, you slow piece of meat! To youz teamz in Region C, watch out - we'z gonna get youz!
<DaFlinga> Yeah, we'z Wanna Beatin!
<Director> Come on Kooshee, get up and sign off.
<Kooshee> This ... is Kooshee reporting live from *KOOSH*
<DaSmasha> Hey guyz, 'dis is fun! Look - he'z all squishy. *STOMP*
<Director> Bugger that, let's get out of here! *SCUFFLE* *DOORS SLAM* *VROOM*
<andycapp> Come on, you guys! Get back to training. We just MIGHT be playing tonight. If not, better get ready for next week anyway! You've got some beatin' to do.
<TEAM> Beatin? Yeah! Let'z go!
<andycapp> You OK, man?
<Kooshee> I'll be fine ... where's my arm? *CRACK* Oh, there it is. And my leg? *SNAP* ohhhh ... |
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XZCion
Joined: Jul 05, 2004
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Aug 22, 2004 - 15:55 |
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Other Small Green Ones take the Lead in Div 2 of Lil Leeg!!!
Smokey McPot here from the sidelines of the just completed Ze Gnomes of Zurich, OSGO game! In a very soggy and wet game, the skinks have managed to do enough damage to their opponents to take a one point lead over their Division rivals, the Halflings of Darksun heading into the final matches of the season!
The flings and the skinks will be swapping opponents for this last round, with the Darksun going up against the Tinkerers, and OSGO lining up against Da Cheet, who conceeded their match to the Darksun.
Will the flings from Darksun be able to secure a stunning victory, and the Division title? Will OSGO maintain their narrow lead? Can the pygmies from the Wee Tang Clan storm home with two games to play and steal the Division from the two undefeated teams?
The answers when the games are played folks! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 21, 2004 - 07:40 |
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Picanic Munchers Forget To Bring The Donuts!
In a SWL QPool boilover, Mr Whippy's Donut Boys ran rings around the hulking Picanic Munchers in a 7 to 1 thumping
Amazing stuff as the Donuts displayed poise, grace, and big pot bellys in "icing" the hungry Munchers...
Chairman Whippy was most impressed by the team effort. "We shared the scores around and we shared the win and now we're sharing the Donuts! Care for a choc-ice?" |
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 10:37 |
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oooh! Post number 100! ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ (up there)
*static flies across your screen for a second* |
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SonofSharkboy
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 09:04 |
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Jack Blood here for Inside Bloodbowl with another great rivalry meeting head to head for the third time. Despite the Western Sydney Wonders' best efforts, they seem to start every season in the company of Skonos' Iridine Gladiators. We managed a quick word with MVP for the game, Crush!
[Jack] So tell us Crush, this is a huge rivalry! How'd the Wonders manage to pull a win off this time?
[Crush] Well Jack, to be honest, it looked like almost a third of their team was missing from the previous match where a tough orc team managed to bang them up good! Also, one of their better beastmen had an old footy injury act up and so couldn't take to the pitch.
[Jack] Did the team come out with a strategy in mind to win?
[Crush] Frankly the Gladiators made a bold move deciding to kick to us. If they'd been at full strength it just may have worked well! As it was, they almost kept our catchers out of the endzone. I think our guys got a little cocky and forgot it wasn't gobbos we were facing but a strong Rotter squad!
[Jack] Tell our viewers about your key roll earning you the MVP for this match?
[Crush] I did what I do best Jack, heh. Went out on the line and stood before their big guys and just let 'em rip into me. I'd say five or six times they kicked the snot out of me, once I seem to recall waking up in the dugout! I swore just a second before I was staring up at one of those large rotters. In the end it was my ability to stand up, and my guts to just stand there and keep our key position guys safe that really helped out the team. *high-fives passing teammate*
[Jack] Ahh yes *cough* right, well thanks again for your time and enjoy the rest of your season *bites knuckle and slowly turns back to the camera wincing*
Well there you have it folks! This first round win puts the Western Sydney Wonders temporarily at the top in the SouthWest Conference. But with only two games played, weeeeeeeeeee're just gettin started!!!!!! I'm Jack Blood, and that's just where the pain starts!! Back to you Bob ... |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Aug 18, 2004 - 01:06 |
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<b>Mr Whippy's Donut Boys</b> have played another match and recorded a fine victory against <b>Sewer Pipe Dream</b> to send star fling Isumbras Underhill off to the retirement village...
Read all about it here |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Aug 17, 2004 - 16:14 |
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Bone Breaking News!
The iron men of last seasons qualifying pool have made a return to the pool to help induct some of the new coaches to the toughest league around,The southern Wastes League.
That's right bowl fans,the Angry Asgardians are once more smashing everything in their path in their quest to make the regional divisions.
With star blitzer Lars Nielson retiring after playing his last game in the Gentlemen's Picnic,Coach Toonie was not sure how the boys would go in there first outing for the new season.
They matched themselves up against Jacks Boozers,a dorf team coached by one of the new coaches Annachie.
The Asgardians lost the toss and kicked off.But their fans overjoyed to see their heroes take the pitch again invaded the pitch stunning 2 dorfs,ko'ing 2 and seriously injuring another,which had the Boozers Apothacery repairing the damage.The dorfs shocked by what had happened didn't do much except gather up the ball.taking advantage of their crowds handiwork,the Asgardians swarmed on the remaining dorfs knocking down whoever was in the road to get to the ball.Kirk Ulrich,a sturdy lineman smashed Axebreaker Smith so hard that the dorf was stretchered off the field with a eye dangling out of his socket.
Mighty Tauros,the Asgardian's minotaurlooking for something to crush,saw the ball lying on the ground,picked it up in his mighty hand,saw the line and ran in the first touch down of the match.
With 3 of the dwarfs still in the ko box fearing to get back on the pitch,the Boozers were outnumbered greatly for the next kickoff.They failed to do much but push a couple of the norse around and gather the ball.The Asgardians dropped the dwarfs on the line and Hans Mordenson got to the ballcarrier Bugman the skuller and hurt him badly with a well executed block.Sigurd Nielson followed up by gathering up the crumbs from Han's work and ran in the second td.
With the half nearly over there wasn't a chance the dwarfs could score from the next kickoff,but the norse did not ease up.Surrounding the Boozers and making sure all their men were covered.The only surviving dwarf runner on the pitch Hrak Brak paniced and tried to dodge through a couple of the norse defenders,tripped and broke his jaw when he landed on his face.The whistle to end the first half must of been a welcome sound to the dwarves.
The Asgardians started dropping the dwarfs on the line from the kickoff in the second half,Giving catcher,Horst Gutomir time to gather the ball.But Horst fumbling the ball gave the dwarfs time to make progress up the middle and put pressure on him.During this time Orcas the brave managed to hurt Ulthor Larrson reducing the Asgardians to 10 men for the remainder of the match.Reacting quickly to the pressure put on by the Boozers,Kirk Ulrich and blitzer Boromir Fhenrir stopped the advancing dorfs,letting Horst gather the ball and start his way upfield with it.A troll slayer from the Boozers tried to get to Horst but was stopped by a gutsy diving tackle from Hans Mordenson allowing Horst to run in the Asgardians third td.
From the next kickoff troll slayer Gibak troll cutter tried to make a break down the sideline with the ball,but blitzer Boromir forced him to the sideline where Siegfried Sorenson knocked him into the crowd resulting in the troll slayer being torn to pieces by the frenzied Asgardian fans.The norse pinned the dwarfs in to the centre of the field but there was not enough time left for either team to score.
So when the final siren went the score was 3-0 in the Asgardian's favor.A wonderful performance in their comeback match and a taste of what the SWL is all about to the Boozers.
So all you coaches out there better watch out for the iron men of the qualifying pool. |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Aug 17, 2004 - 07:48 |
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...flash to a quick news erm flash...
A handcrafted pattern for Sandune's special squad of Vampy's to paint on their pitches has just come in!
Special courtesy of the gorgeous green momma of Karaz Krasherz' favourite twins, Kami and Kazi.
<img src="http://members.optusnet.com.au/stonierd/violin.jpg"/>
A flurry of irrepressibly naked green streaks across the screen, and makes off with the pattern!
Bob Borc: Well folks, I suspect you have gotten your first close up...too close...of the little goober Kami! Though it was hard to tell - have to suspect he's made off with it to stir up his boyz! |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %17, %2004 - %16:%Aug; edited 1 time in total |
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