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Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 26, 2020 - 14:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Whats that the Mascara Snake a Sucker cup preview. Yes that's right the Sucker cup the Mythical cup gifted to Silky from the water masons guild after his toilet was blocked one too many times. (Or so the story may go-ed) And a preview with me one time session clarinet player for the Tentacles The Mascara Snake.


So the Sucker cup is where the legends of Osbbl get to strut their stuff sometimes lording it over the lower tier sides. Silky this year apparently has took a bung (the Sucker can get rid of that-ed) and allowed some of the teams with sway through the preliminary round that see the teams of pedigree through the first round. With two times sword runners up the Gaen Von Griffons and seasons 3's Mullet champs the Underhive Vagabonds this year being given the bye.

Let us now look at that first round:

Brass eye Vs Gunboat Diplomacy

These two battlers from season 3 boast a host of notable players. In Brass eye it is that vicious witch like former White Whale of the League Libby Schuss who I have picked to turn the game she will give as good as the Sea elves can dish out. If the elves hit the deck Fadanoid will be there to clean up.

The Sea elves have been hauled up off shore dealing with there some hearty bureaucratic documents relating to many things that seem to hold there attention but not mine. The 3rd Viscount of Palmerston will undoubtabley bring his thwacking stick to tame the natives. Though also watch out for there top elf Nearly as Fast as a Slow Native he is nearly sloth like in his pace. This will be a blood bath.

DSR Vs Cheese Eating Blender Monkees

The Rat off what a first round match. The Blender Monkees are one of the most feared teams in the competition they have leaked a few slaves along the way though. Cuddles will continue to embrace his game I believe and the only recognizable slave is Irascible will the 14 game veteran make 16?

DSRare a very different threat and they will probably hope that the Monkees can not get a hold of them. Rash like is the way the pundits (that is actually you-ed) like to describe the DSR. Kenshin and akatsuki will be all tooled up and may be the secret to their success.

Delicious Heresy Vs Half-cut

The Delicious Heresy Slanesh's chosen? Well again after a hedonistic season of multiple groin strains and little success surely the team can pull it together (They certainly like to pull at things-ed). Though I have an obssession with our man in the field Tom Thundercock(now banjo), and dream of him adorning the commentary box with me. Everyone knows the Vajazzler (now banjojazzler) is the one to watch. Will the take it from their highly seeded (I get it-ed) opponents?

The coach of Halfcut has a chip on his shoulder after stumping out in last seasons cup. These woods ar indeed alive with vengence and Stoli Poli is the one to watch as she vindictively weaves her way through the leaves in a drunken manner. All pundits point to the trees to make the cultist take an early leave.

Banda Sagrada de Magritta Vs Larry Vaughn's Love Spawn

Banda Sagrada de Magritta come limping into the competition after a serious chewing on from the Thunda Down Under and the coach wishes to use the Sucker cup as a training ground to hone their warrior skills. The war has been relentless on these bruised bodies but Ademar Garcia Menendezand Jorge Barrera Torresare the warrior to lead the fight. Though I doubt they would be happy to get the Stormfel first up.

Larry Vaughan's Love Spawn from the mysterious Slipper Island unceremoniously removed themselves from the first ever Mullet in the great Chum fiasco, now with Silky providing regular Chum they have returned and man do they look hungry still. Mr Taft is the most devoted cultist out there and surely this will be Meadows reason to drop his poetry book and make a name for himself on the field.

The Southpaw Stormers VS The Blimp

Southpaw are back straight out left field. After coming close to taking the inaugural Mullet the Squigs return with a point to drive (mostly into the back of the Squigs. Though the fans will love to see the bastard Squig return Henri de Toulouse Lautrec will not be a welcome site for the ladies, though the secret is it is Jimmy White who you really have to watch.

The Blimp enjoyed a run in the play offs and are the ones to watch in my opinion. Though Ogress Skuld has been slow to make an impression she may very well make it in the Sucker. Skeggjöld though is never slow to make an impression of her boot and Silky may have to get two refs on this game.

And finally

Haka Chibi Hako Siva Tau Vs Stinkfinger Allstars

Talking of referees these Hobgoblins would make great recruits to the guild there inability to read the rules and hob nail boots make them top recruits. The Stinkfinger Allstars have a real menace about them and surprised many with their performance in season 3. Though we can't take our eyes off of Larry's Loincloth it is Cheesecutter Butterballs who dishes the pain.

Haka Chibi Hako Siva Tau play the 4 nations gentlemans passing game that will see them cringe facing the riff raff that is a hobgoblin side. An early exit from the play off will fire these travelling gents up and 'Fridge' Lewis will captain the side to great things, though we all wonder if pretty boy 'Hot-Foot' Aegiers III will ever do something of note.

So there you go folks the gauntlet is set the glittering prize awaits.Who will seize it well if Laskarina was around I am sure she would tell me. Have fun Osbbl peeps and stay weird.

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 26, 2020 - 15:00 Reply with quote Back to top

The Love Spawn Fall at the first Hurdle

The Love Spawn open the Sucker Cup against Banda Sagrada de Magritta and man did the warrior god Myridia look angry. This is the Mascra Snake offering the post match analysis.

Apparently the Banda were whipped thoroughly after the humbling at the hands of the Squig herders last time round and this sharpness showed. An early blitz put the Stormfel on their back foot and predictably they stated eating the cultist.With the early pressure cam panic at the back from Sean Brody an early attempt to shift the ball proving unwise. The Myridia then went int a soilderesque performance of control. Though thy possibly invited too many gladiatorial like hits on the brethren, George Clumsy Wing baring the brunt.

Helmut Wulf did such a solid job in the first half as Banda took the lead the ref allowed him to resurface. It was to his demise though as Quint decided to snack on him.

1-0 and barely a man or fish standing at the end. What a game.

Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jun 30, 2020 - 11:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Storm weathered

The Blimp weathered the storm before them. Fired up by the recent performances of the other Squig side the Southpaw Stormers set to scare the Valkyries and an early blitz made them look like they knew what they were doing.

In all honestly me The Mascara Snake thought they could duly be up at the halftime whistle. With Henri the bastard Squig having a solid game and Pierce Brosnan with a keen eye with his projectiles. 0-0 at the half was game on.

The Blimp though seem to have the referee's guild in their pocket and Helmut wulf was a real pain in the side of the Squigs, first working hard to remove Henri. The second half saw the saga draw to an end with a controlled beat down on their foe. Closing the game for a 1-0 win for the Blimp. Will they continue to rise?
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