Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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 Posted:
Jun 13, 2006 - 12:44 |
 
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| foolwholaughsatdeath wrote: | Fool's Tools are ready to kick ass and take names this season!!
Same old concept, new improved name.  |
He he Mr Imagination strikes again  thanks for giving me a debut start though mate Ill bet Toonie is happy he's not a thrower |
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Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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| Posted:
Jun 13, 2006 - 14:08 |
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Hehe, because of the many fine DE blitzers i have had and also the many DE vs DE matches i played with fool, i have been given the respectful position of a blitzer.
Now watch all these coaches try and foul me! |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 13, 2006 - 18:17 |
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"Skye's Tainted" are approved and applied.
Ever had a half heated pie at the footy and suffered for it on getting home?
Ever thought that zesty taste on your restaurant meal was delightful and suffered for it upon getting home?
Ever eaten something that you thought, "ah shell be right, ill just cut this rotten bit off" and suffered for it some three to twelve hours later?
Spoiled food products, diseased meats, gobs of spit in your burger, unwashed hands preparing your tasty snack......all part of the taint of Chaos!!!!!!!!! |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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BloodReaper
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 14, 2006 - 00:51 |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 14, 2006 - 01:06 |
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Virral
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 14, 2006 - 04:10 |
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They're sexy! They're cute! They're popular to boot!
The Rancho Carne Toros are ready and raring to get into the game, rather than just cheering at the sidelines! (Gratuitious photos of Kirsten Dunst in Cheerleader outfits will follow)
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=team&op=view&team_id=267253
Don't hate them 'cause they're beautiful |
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CanCon 2007 - All the cool kids came fifth! |
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Longshanks
Joined: Feb 02, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 14, 2006 - 04:13 |
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/me rather fancies Kirsten Dunst and waits impatiently for gratuitous photos to be posted. |
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gumbi
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 15, 2006 - 15:44 |
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BRRR IS IT COLD IN HERE?!?! MUST BE SOME TOROS IN THE ATMOSPHERE!!!!!!!!
I love that movie
THATS ALRIGHT, THATS OK... YOU'RE GUNNA PUMP OUR GAS SOMEDAY! |
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Symmetrical
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 16, 2006 - 04:33 |
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Virral
Joined: Jul 31, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 16, 2006 - 04:46 |
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Classic. My favourite was "that's FEAR you're feeling". |
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CanCon 2007 - All the cool kids came fifth! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 18, 2006 - 00:59 |
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We have all draftees except Drokmar...
With Drokmar we have 61 coaches and may seek a contingency coach.
Without her we have 60 and the draw will be done.
Miyuso - please get Drok or yourself to contact SWL Admin to let us know what is going on? |
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Grey_Wolf
Joined: Mar 25, 2006
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| Posted:
Jun 18, 2006 - 01:16 |
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THE SUNDAY SLoBBa
NEWS + VIEWS (if somewhat skewed) OF THE SYLVANIA LEAGUE of BLOOD BOWL
Proudly bought to you by SOUTHERN BOTTLEGAMERS
("If your blood's worth bottling, let us bottle it for you!")
Series i/ Edition iv
The fourth round of games brought the inaugural season of the SLoBB in to its 5th week (remembering that our split round preceded the AFL's by a week) and takes us to the halfway mark of this exciting inaugural season. I know it's meaningless and confusing, but there's a metaphor in there somewhere (although it could just be a metaphive).
And once more the brilliant innovations initiated by our lovingly absent in mind as well as body leader, Commissioner Morgrim, continued to astound and amaze the two or three sad and desperate people still playing "Where's Morgy".
Squeaking of which: Commissioner Morgrim was apparently in Bretonnia this week, although reports of him cavorting with religious types dressed only in pretty smocks tend to have more in common with gatherings in Adelaide by the banks of the River Torrens on a Saturday night rather than in Sylvania by healthily gore smeared pitches on a Friday eve!
(And a big greeting to our South Australian fans - will the last one of you to leave Adelaide please turn out the light?)
Yet again the League expanded, and in a dramatic turn of events the entire pecking order of the competition was radically altered as some squads got the pecker up while others drooped down.
(I think there's a typo in there, but the spell Czech isn't helping!)
The somewhat overdue Commissioner Morgrim (consider the forelock
combed) sent a message from *cough* Bretonnia *cough* in which he categorically stated that he'll definately be with us next week or he'll pull out his old dress, shave those cherubically contoured legs (again) and set up a kissing booth on Morgdale Railway Station (yet again).
Oh wait - that was last week's rash promise!
This week's involves a bunch of Bretonnian savants of the Church dressed only in highly embroidered smocks yelling "All for one, free for all", which - when you think about it - is a natural result of recriuting via the kissing booth currently operating on Morgdale railway station.
(He also asked us to remind all participanties that the Commissioner's
Charity for Bunged Blitzers is up and open for donations - remember:
"the next dodgy set of kneecaps just might be your's"!)
(And that all donations should consist of unmarked non-sequential
notes of current legal tender, deposited in brown paper bags in the
usual secretive rendevous spots as per usual, please.)
A quick reminder too then that Season I of the SLoBB will run up to
and including Friday 21 July 2006, then - after one of our finely
tuned/ battle hardened tactical geni-asses has squelched to inevitable
victory in the Eucalyptus Bowl on 22-23 July - the hardcore
elimination thrills and spills of the play-offs will be unleashed in
the following weeks to purge the weak, squish the soft, and
comprehensively fertilise the playing pitches.
Three - count them: 3 (not you, Kurt, we don't have that long to wait for you to wake up in order to do the arithmatic) - magnificent games were played in Round iv, and the week produced the first mid-week game and the first Midnight in Sylvania game (and "ze Children of ze Night were certainly making music in Game 12, huh?).
There was a inevitably more talk of the Norse Sydney Bears and the Hag
Ganeth Harlotquins still staying in their respective training gulags
somewhere in the frigid north(ern suburbs) until the Bears sober up, but the Harlotquins are changing their clothes (yet again). And
the Travelling von Keef Family Roadshow was regrettably sidetracked by
a Wiggles concert. (So you can now all call Keef 'Dorothy'  )
But let's put the gasbagging behind us (a Rotter tactic I learnt some
time ago), and talk about the actual games of BLOOD BOWL!
Game 10 of Season i presented us with both our first mid-week game, and also introduced us to the 10th team to join our happy little lynch mob of gamers: the Pro (I'm not touching that one) Elves of the MINCING FAIRIES (or that one either). Attired in full body armour of a striking shade of pink (honest - some stuff I just don't have to make up) rice paper, they fronted the most hyperactive (read: 'bunch of Blood Bowl desperates') team of the league, the #4 ranked ALTDORF ANNIHILATED.
And what a wild roller coaster of a game was played out by our two newest franchises!
The elves were reduced to 5 players by the end of the first half (with 2 injuries and 3 KOs) but still somehow managed to hold off the endless unimaginative but sweetly brutal drives of the Humies. Then the second half exploded with three straight two turn TDs by the Annihilated, with the first resulting from receiving the kick then the others from a perfect defence and a Blitz. After the second TD, the game turned nasty with fouls coming from every direction, including a KO and an injury against the Annihilated and a couple of KOs against the Fairies.
As the reader will see later, the 3 - 0 Annihilated victory (with a 4 - 2 advantage in casualties) has had a quite dramatic impact on their position in the League.
The coach of the Altdorf Annihilated was asked if there was a parallel between his team's second half improvement and their rapid rise through the guts of the SLoBB, and he prefaced his answer with: "Well, it's hard for me to say ....". At which point the parasites of the Press determineded that it would be even harder for them to listen, and that what he couldn't say could be made up later after racing the other journos to the freebie feeds and bonus cosmetic give-aways.
The Wardrobe Mistress of the Minced Fairies stated that she thought that it was an aesthetically pleasing game with no misfunctions (sorry, Janet), and that she was relieved that her team had looked good, dyed fast and had lovely bodies to lay on the treatment tables. And that those impressions had only been slightly tarnished by the referee insisting that they leave their dug-out and actually play a game of Blood Bowl!
Game 11 was a complete accident. The #2 ranked CHEETAHS were waiting in ambush for their Orcish rivals, the #1 ranked DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ in order to pay them back for the great blow to Orccy prestige in their 2 - 2 defeat by a mob of Goblins, but in a move that surprised nobody, da Krushaz never fronted (claiming much later that they were snowed under by work at the Grate Orcstralian Beauty Salon & Butchery) (Hint: it wasn't "snow"). And the #3 ranked Nacromantic CLEAVEDLAND CADAVALIERS had laid out the blood red carpet of Rookwood Memorial Stadium so as to welcome the Fairies to Friday Night Foo...errm...Blood Bowl, but the Elves were mired in a life and death struggle with a can of mascara in their dressing rooms and searching desperately for a shade of lingerie which would work with their away uniforms.
So our first top of the table clash - #2 vs #3 - came about almost despite itself.
The Cheetahs received first and swiftly swung the ball to the halfway line, where it basically stuck fast on the immovable line of the Zombies and Flesh Golems. The Orcs tried to bludgeon their way straight through the long dead heart of the Cadavaliers' defence, but the stiffs gave as good as they got and an endless cycle of reciprocal bashing saw lots of good clean healthy carnage, but nothing even remotely resembling any sort of ball movement (the ball did enter 1 square in to the Cadavaliers' half of the pitch in a turn before it - and coincidentally, the Orc carrying it - were comprehensively and immediately smashed back over to the wrong side of the halfway line).
The second half saw the Cheetahs stack their right wing defence with Black Orcs and their left with their remaining Blitzers, only to see the Cadavaliers aim their offence straight down the throats of the more mobile wing. A misplaced rock thrown by an Orc fan took out the Cheetah Blitzer on the left wing, and this allowed the inevitable rolling brawl of the Undead to slowly but surely secure a quite literally hard fought win.
Coach Truk said after the Cadavaliers' 1 - 0 triumph (with a 3 - 1 advantage in casualties) that the victory had been the deserved
result for some brilliant tactical decisions, visionary motivational
programmes ("Do it or you're dead")("er") and bold player rotation
policies (ie, having the Cheetahs' elites smacked so much that they
had to be rotated to the sick bay).
(Late Amendment: I've just checked my notes, and I must apologise for
the slight error of that quote above: it was actually Coach Darby Yurr
of the Cadavaliers who attributed the win to "some brilliant tactical
decisions etc etc etc.")
(Sorry.)
The Cheetahs' coach actually issued a long and detailed press statement after the game, but as his mouth was full and Orcish at best is just a long stream of slightly varying monosyllabic grunts, we can all imagine what THAT sounded like, eh? (If not, try a laxative - indeed, try several - for instant relief, and a full replay of the Cheetah's take on this game).
Game 12 of the season started in a controversial manner. The CLEAVEDLAND CADAVALIERS were still on the pitch of Rookwood Memorial Stadium lapping up their triumph over the CHEETAHS (welllllll - it was more like 'slurping up' where the Ghouls were concerned) when the MINCING FAIRIES finally appeared from their dressing rooms and a game of Blood Bowl broke out. In what they later laughingly described as "a Blitz", the Elves attempted to storm the Undead line, but this 'ambush' came unstuck when Ghoul #11 THURSTON HOWL tripped up the Blitzer skipping past its post-game snack, sending the Elf happily back to the treatment room for a 16 turn enema.
Losing a player for the game before the game had even mathematically begun was almost the high point for the Fairies, as the Cadavaliers then set about them with a swashbucklingly ruthless abandon. Despite their one and only Passer being sent crowd surfing early in the game (his legs surfed the West Stand, his torso the North Stand, his intestines the East Stand, and his head and arms the South Stand) and going down a TD in the space of the first two turns, the Fairies struck back fast and fine with a classic pointy eared pass play to score their first TD of the season and keep the scoreline 1 - 1 at the half (the body count was something else again).
It was at about this time that Coach Truk of the Cheetahs became the first (real) person to fall asleep in the stands while watching a game of Blood Bowl this season (I didn't think it was that boring a game, personally!).
The Mincers received the kick-off in the second half, but their gallant (and only) Receiver was tracked down by the Cadavaliers' Werewolves and then sent as snack food to the fans in the stands, effectively ending any chance of a Elven miracle (beyond the fact that any of them actually survived the game). The Cadavaliers ran in two more TD's in this half as the Elven body count blew out (their 5 casualties were accompanied by 5 KO's, against which they retaliated by knocking out a lone Zombie ........... for a single turn).
The game ended in a flourish when the few remaining Fairies attempted to run The Cage, only to be utterly surrounded by the Undead and compressed in to a tight cube of flesh. An attempt to throw the ball safely away in Turn 8 was blocked by towering Flesh Golem #13 Lurch, and the pigskin then assumed a life of its own as it bounced from one set of flailing hands to another while each team fought to control it. It finally stuck in the massive paws of Lurch himself. He then only needed to crush a single Elf in order to effect a handover to a Werewolf to score the team's 4th TD, but he was so gobsmacked by actually getting to touch a real ball that his haymaker of a block only succeeded in flattening himself and ending the game (good old safely predictable yet always hilarious double skulls).
Coach Sirrell said after the Cadavaliers' 3 - 1 triumph (with their 5 - 0 advantage in casualties) that the victory had been the deserved
result for some brilliant tactical decisions, visionary motivational
programmes ("Do it or you're dead")("er") and bold player rotation
policies (ie, having the Fairies' elites smacked so much that they
had to be rotated to the sick bay).
(Late Amendment: I've just checked my notes, and I must apologise for
the slight error of that quote above: it was actually Coach Darby Yurr
of the Cadavaliers who attributed the win to "some brilliant tactical
decisions etc etc etc.")
(Sorry.)
Coach Sirrell actually said that it was a very disappoiting game for his team. "I mean, they wore _Brown_ uniforms - yes: BROWN (I kid you not)! - and our sensitive souls said that to even touch such retrograde threads actually made them felt tacky and cheap. I'm sure that if they'd been a bit more hip and trendy and actually worn something more Fashionable and Contemporary, we'd have happily blocked them and done all those sorts of silly sporty things that you're asking about. Except sweat - we draw the line at Sweat!
And I mean to say, I know he's a Necromancer and all that, by why does their Coach wear a ballgown to games? Cut like That!".
(A whisper from the Cadavaliers' training crypt since that interview has it that Coach Darby Yurr has now upgraded the sideline attire of his squad's coaching staff in order to bring the team in to the Century of the Fruitbat, although Graveyard Earth Brown still remains their dominant colour of choice.)
So, after 4 hyperbolic rounds of uninhibited violence (let's all just still ignore Game 5, can we?) occasionally punctuated by somebody remembering to do something with the actual football (other than in Game 5) and fashion tips, the Championship Table at the half way point of Season I of SLoBB currently appears in the following radically altered state:
Ranked #1 - CLEAVEDLAND CADAVALIERS (Nacromantic):
4W - 0D - 0L; TDs 8 - 3; Cas 14 - 6
#2 - DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ (Orc):
2W - 2D - 0L, TDs 7 - 5; Cas 14 - 0
#3 - ALTDORF ANNIHILATED (Human):
2W - 1D - 1L; TDs 10 - 5; Cas 11 - 5
#4 - CHEETAHS (Orc):
2W - 0D - 1L; TDs 5 - 2; Cas 5 - 5
#5 - REIKLAND REAPERS (Necromantic):
1W - 0D - 2L; TDs 5 - 8; Cas 7 - 11
#6 - ZETETIC ELENCH (Goblins):
0W - 1D - 1L; TDs 3 - 4; Cas 1 - 10
#7 - VAMPA BAY BITERNEARS (Vampire)*:
0W - 0D - 1L; TDs 1 - 2; Cas 0 - 6
#8 - IRONBEARD MARAUDERS (Dwarf):
0W - 0D - 2L; TDs 1 - 3; Cas 3 - 2
#9 - DA BLAK DETH (Orc)*:
0W - 0D - 1L; TDs 1 - 3; Cas 2 - 3
#10 - MINCING FAIRIES (Pro Elf):
0W - 0D - 2L; TDs 1 - 6; Cas 2 - 9.
* denotes 2nd team of a coach, and thus only eligible for post-season play if substituted for the higher ranked squad.
Reviewing the league at the halfway point of the season reveals some interesting tendencies. For example, even though we're eschewing the development of squads (so the newest team can play the most experienced with no tangible disadvantage at all), it is obvious that there is still no team in the bottom of the table which has played as many games as any of those in the top half.
And the rapid ascent of the ALTDORF ANNIHILATED has now seen them skip past the team which so comprehensively beat them in their first game in the competition (the CHEETAHS), thus indicating that the main advantage to playing as many games as possible is mainly in gaining experience using a squad in the context of this league.
With 5 weeks to play before we enter the maelstrom of the post-season (and remembering that all coaches are eligible for participation), there is still plenty of time for anyone wishing to join in to develop a good head of steam and great momentum towards finals play.
It's also refreshing that there is no obviously dominant race, and that the rise of the supposedly squishy humans from Altdorf is a healthy barometer of what is evolving in to a delightful league in which to play.
So questions remain: will the CHEETAHS get their long lusted for civil Waaargh with DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ? Will DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ ever suffer a casualty? Will Marty ever kill anything? And of course:
"WHERE'S MORGY?"
So remember: all's fair in love and Blood Bowl, unless the only love of your life is 28mm tall and made of pewter.
(Although anything plastic is not quite so tragic.)
This is Cub Reporter - WALLO VUDU - signing off.
\/
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(W. Vudu - his mark)
*Please note that the author of this piece is not a qualified medical
practitioner - he gets hairy, chases cars and howls at full moons, if you catch my drift - and that any medical advice given in this artycackle should be comprehensively ignored. Please consult your vet or taxidermist instead.
*Please also note that no animals were harmed at all in the making of
this edition of THE SUNDAY SLoBBa. But it's the thought that counts. |
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Never moon a Werewolf! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2006 - 03:30 |
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SWL Season 15 will be starting shortly... groupings have been done via the main page (you will see the 1's, 21-23's, 31-33's) and the draw will be done in the next 24-48hrs.
Some last minute shuffling and the apparent demise of Drokmar (from here, not in RL i hope!) has seen the Regionals split into 1 x 8 and 2 x 10 divisions. Top 2 will qualify in each group for promotion.
Conference will be the traditional 3 x 8 divisions with all winners plus a wildcard gaining promotion to premier. Bottom 2 will be relegated.
Premier will again be cut throat (tm) and will have bottom 4 relegated.
Stay tune to further details. Draw will be done either tonight or tomorrow night. |
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Drokmar
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2006 - 10:04 |
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First time I've been able to get on in a month was today, and I've lost my Spot. Ah well. Any chance I can keep the goblins for next season, and if anyone in regional drops in the first 2 rounds, I get there spot? More even then
Drok |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2006 - 10:10 |
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Drok, get in asap and we can fit you in.
Also, WoodyIsGod, need that Zon team in the next 24hrs.
If Drok & Woody get in, then we will have 4 x 8 divs rather than 3 divs of 8,10,10.
!!! |
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