Diary of a Skaven
A fanatical and suicidal fan from Dovie'andi se tovya sagain's Gutter Runner star thrr'ii'wss intercepted the communication of his idol and was more then happy to share the contents of these letters with us, and thus also with you, our faithful readers.
Apparently thrr'ii'wss has been keeping in touch with an old rathood friend and rival, who is currently the top scorer on an undisclosed Skaven team.
We would like to use this opportunity to point out to thrr'ii'wss that we, being the GLN staff, in no way, shape or form, have anything to do with the actual interception of his mail. The blame for that rests squarely on the shoulders of this fan, whose address we're willing to divulge in exchange for an interview. If you had granted us one, in the first place it would not have had to come to this.
Anyway, on to the letters:
11 October 2503
Hah! Told you we would make it big one day! Coach has signed us up for the FUMBBL Cup II and has told me that he is counting on me to pull us through. In fact, he is counting on this cup to get rid of my main rival on the team, mister cheese himself, and the one-turner, thus making me the biggest Gutter Runner star. I'd watch out if I were you, perhaps your coach has a similar fate in mind... told you it's better to focus on the blitzing instead of the scoring. More flair, better teams. Told you so...
6 November 2503
Well, Just played the first game in the group stages against some Amazons . How did I play? Amazingly, if I say so myself. Moreover, I do not need to say it myself, because every single one of my teammates is saying it too.
My fearsome presence on the field was the essential factor in this game. I did not actually score, or hit anybody, but! I drew nearly all of the opposing players' attention, their blitzes and their dirty fouls when I was temporarily down.
Coach says that won us the game and that it will be harder next game but that I shouldn't worry and just rest, the concussion will wear off soon.
16 November 2503
Just wanted to let you know that they won the next match , even without me there. Could your team pull that off, eh? With the glory hogger that you are? Doubt it. Aaaaah, but do I look forward to getting in action again... I want to hit stuff! Get that ball! Wrestle it free, instead of getting it handed to me like a little... you. Hah!
18 November 2503
And another victory thanks to yours truly. Undead are just so slow and even a Mummy goes down before one of my mighty blitzes. Nothing is safe if they stand between a TD and me. Or if they have the ball. Or if I am just in a bad mood, really.
In addition, I did something else you will never do... give the ball to a teammate so he can score. A little toss and presto, much goodwill around. Hit, toss, score, I did it all. Feels good, TD-boy, feels good.
23 November 2503
Right, You can scrape that gloat of your face right now, boyo! Yeah, we lost. Nevertheless, it was not my fault! I mean, that fool C'ndl'j'ck dropped the ball when I gave it to him, but I recovered that! I even did my patented move to get the ball out of the cage, it is not my fault the ball snagged on a horn and could not be recovered!
It is certainly not my fault the fans rioted before I could set things straight! Because I would have, you can be sure of that.
Now if you will excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to go and hit some Treemen. The sound of their falling soothes my nerves.
13 December 2503
Knock Out stages are here, and we refuse to be knocked out by some short Dwarves, no matter how strong they are. Once again I do it all, except for the actual scoring. Why should I? You should have seen it. Tackle zones? Tackle? What are those? My ball! That's what that thing is! Some people call it luck, I call it skill. Because that's what I am, skilled. No one trick pony here, like some I know...
In addition, the plan worked... Our one trick pony, w'rrr'tt'nww died. My time in the spotlights is only just beginning, be forewarned!
16 December 2503
Coach is sending us to the mines, to build up stamina. Will not write or play for a while. Got to go.