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 Issue 7 - May 8 2506
Obituaries/Valedictories

  • Mr. Meaner, Wardancer for County Break Outs
    Thousands have wished it and now it has finally happened at the hands of a High Elf Blitzer named Khan, from Federation Empire. The Toughest Mamba Jamba to break out of the County Lock up is now the deadest Mamba Jamba. Coach Redman doesn't get to collect the EMU bounty of 100 points since his team was not part of EMU. Mr. Meaner is now only a memory. Flags will be at half mast. County Break Outs coach keggiemckill was last seen curled into a ball, sobbing.
  • Err, Zombie for Commercial Corruption
    Err, who had taken over the leadership roll on Commercial Corruption, was tragically killed by the highly imaginative and versatile team of Inkaprettatori. The end of the game was close, but not close enough. There will be no commercial break today, as sadness comes to TV land.
  • Calamity Hangnoose, Gutter Runner for Stockholm Plaguebearers
    Stockholm Plaguebearers prolific goalscorer, Calamity Hangloose, died on the pitch today as the result of a tough blow to the groin area in a match against a chaos team known more for it's brawn than for it's brains.

    Having already rescued painbringer in the making Bad Breed from a fatal wound, the apothecary was unable to save Calamity's life. Of course, it was only logical that Calamity recieved the MVP award after this game, that not only contained death, but also a never before seen act of sheer elfballing that meant the assist to an astonishing touchdown.

    Calamity will be grieved by only a small group of family members and close friends, but surely the players of the Plaguebearers will feel something is missing in the locker room as the team head out to the pitch for their next game.

    In addition, fans of fearless elfball with a spice of carnage will also surely miss this player who always seemed to find a solution to a problem (often related to the ball, cages of beastmen and insane odds) in ways unimaginable to others.

    One of the most promising intercepting players of the league, according to some, Calamity's premature demise will always leave us wonderring what could have been.

    Rest in peace, Calamity Hangloose.

     
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