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 Issue 8 - September 17 2506
Defending the Indefensible
by pac

Foulers can suffer from a bad reputation these days. Some coaches read words like these:

...makes me all warm and fuzzy in my tummy when that last block pushes a ma10/sprint/sure feet gutter runner into an 8-man dirty player boot party.....that's when i like to do my victory dance, when i hear that special kersploosh sound.

…and inexplicably receive the impression that foulers are unpleasant individuals, who only take joy in the pain and suffering of others. Apparently, what many of these coaches find most objectionable is fouling in Turn 16 of a game, or at any other time in the game when 'the match has already been decided' (whatever that means).

It has even come to such a pass that perhaps even a majority of coaches consider Turn 16 fouling to be beyond the pale, and will add any coach who does it against them to their Do Not Play list. Unless, perhaps, the coach in question has a good enough excuse for doing it...

This is where the GLN is here to help you, our foul-loving readers! Below we have compiled a list of useful excuses (or, 'reasons' as it is more politically correct to say) which may be able to deflect your opponent's ire if deployed at a timely moment in the in-game chat. Also included are some notes on which situations the excuse is most applicable in.

"What do you mean you don't get SPPs for fouls any more!?"

In previous editions of Blood Bowl, SPPs were awarded for casualties resulting from a much wider range of causes than today: including fouls. However, this excuse will be much less convincing if you have played a significant number of games under the new rule-set on FUMBBL (more than about 10 games).

"Oops - I forgot about the CAS you apo'd - wanted my second CAS for FF roll!"

As it happens, the Java BB application seems to incorrectly apply the LRB with regard to the bonus given to Fan Factor for casualties inflicted.

Q: Does the +1 for inflicting 2 or more casualties on the Fan factor table mean any injuries caused or casualties only caused by Blocks as in gaining SPPs?
A: Only casualties that count for SPPs.
-- LRB 4.0 FAQ

As I understand it however, the client does count casualties caused by fouls (although not those resulting from failed GFIs, dodges, and most other causes). The net result of this is good news for foulers, as if you have only caused 1 casualty so far in the game, you have an excellent excuse for trying to cause another. And of course, between apothecaries, Regeneration, trying to remember whether or not earlier casualties resulted from causes which count for the FF roll, who could blame a coach for fouling one more time just to make sure?

"I wanted a new Zombie/Rotter!"

Delete as appropriate. Undead and Necromantic teams get a free Zombie (worth 30K) if they can permanently kill an opposing player. Nurgle teams get a free Rotter (worth 110K!) if their Beast of Nurgle can permanently kill an opposing player (with a block or a foul!). In both cases, the team has to have a free slot for the new player.

This is by far the best possible excuse for fouling: who can argue with a coach who is just trying to earn a new player for his team? Its only limitation comes if the team has carelessly already got a permanent kill earlier in the game, or if the team already has a full squad of 16 (or all four Rotters).

"It's traditional to try to clear the pitch in this situation."

It is a time-honoured tradition in Blood Bowl to do one's best (when an opportunity arises) to completely clear the pitch of opposing players. Indeed, no one who has never achieved this feat (and also had it inflicted upon them) could truly claim to be an experienced Blood Bowl coach. As such, it is a rite of passage, and part of the homage to him demanded by Nuffle.

Unfortunately, it's much harder to claim that this is your objective when there are only a couple of turns left and the opposition still have 10 players on the pitch.

"FUMBBL tracks foul stats now. I'm trying to gain the next level Fouler Award!"

Since last October, the FUMBBL site has tracked the number of fouls committed, and since last month all fouls committed in the Ranked division give the coach Fouler Awards.. There are Fouler (10 fouls), Adept Fouler (50), Master Fouler (200), and Legendary Fouler (1 000) Awards known to be available. There may even be a Zen Master Fouler (5 000?) to be had. We can't be sure: but it should be fun trying to get there!

"It was revenge for your kill earlier!"

Turnabout is fair play, as they say. Many coaches consider Blood Bowl to be a role-playing game, and this sort of motivation will be entirely comprehensible to them. Other coaches see the game as simply a thing of risk and reward, and this argument will cut no ice with them (although why they wouldn't accept that another point in the CAS-for column might not count as 'reward', I couldn't say).

"That guy just had it coming."

Some FUMBBL coaches subscribe to a philosophy that states that eliminating any AG+ or ST+ player, other highly developed Star, or other generally annoying individual, is a selfless act benefiting the entire community. Sadly, however, this belief has yet to gain wide acceptance, and doesn't help much when you feel like victimising a skill-less Lineman.

"Didn't I mention? We're members of E.M.U./Rat Race/other. Our group hands out points for all casualties!"

Lastly, it can always be useful to hold membership of one of the above groups, or any similar group which awards points for inflicting casualties. These groups often have restrictions (your targets must be elves; your team must be Skaven), but the one thing they don't restrict is when and how you cause the damage!

Well, I'm sure our readers will be able to think of many more good reasons for fouling which we have overlooked. Send your ideas and comments to the author, and (if we get enough) we may be able to compile them into a second article. Soon we'll have enough, so you'll never be short of a reason for fouling!

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