IN THE MIRROR
Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them.
“That’s us in ten years,” he says. His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar,
turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”

HEARING AID MISSING
The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctor’s office having his hearing checked.
The doctor poked his light scope in the old man’s ear and said, “Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!”
“Rats,” said the old man. “Now I know where my hearing aid went.”

LEVEL PAUSE
After my kids bragged about what levels they’d attained in a video game, I decided to give it a try.
Soon, it was my turn to boast that, in spite of being a newbie, I’d already managed to get to level 11.
That’s when my youngest son pointed out that the “11”
I was seeing on the screen was actually the game’s pause button.

While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes.
The woman asked, “Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”

I’ve been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there.
Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”

A guy was in a bar drinking beer. He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife,
order another beer take out his wallet and looks at a picture of his wife. He did this several times,
finally, the bartender asks, why after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife.
The guy says as soon as she starts looking better to me, I go home.

(Also, you could go look at the X-mas one from 2009)