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jackpassanisi (31715)
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2024-07-09 03:03:41
3 votes, rating 4.3
From the Desk of Oggy-Boggy: If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.
Oi, listen up, folks! Oggy-Boggy's back with a pipin' hot tale, fresh out of the oven for ye. He's got a bone to pick with Griff Oberwald, and he's not pulling any punches. Picture this scene: "The Gourmet Hearth," bustling with customers, when in strides Griff Oberwald with his pet eagle perched proudly on his shoulder.

Before so much as even taking a seat, Griff was already getting flirty with a young maiden, perhaps a little too young. We all know how Griff can be, that perfect smile, bullshit spewing from his mouth. An air of douchebaggery surrounding him. While he was distracted by a lady very much his junior, very quickly, a crew of halflings emerged from the kitchen and whisked away Griff's beloved eagle, and then whisked away at it again in the kitchen, where it became the key ingredient in the Gourmet Hearth's world famous chicken pot pie*.

Back in the dining area, Oggy-Boggy, not one to shy away from a challenge, meets Griff's gaze with a steely determination. "Griff," he declares loudly enough for the whole tavern to hear, "I've had enough of your antics. It's time you learned a lesson in humility."

With that, Oggy-Boggy beckons to his kitchen staff, who bring forth a dish fit for a halfling feast—a succulent smörgåsbord, meat and potatoes surrounding a pie tin, with none other than Griff's eagle at the center, its head and feathers making the perfect garnish. The room falls silent as Oggy-Boggy takes a seat at a nearby table, locking eyes with Griff as he savors each bite.

"This," he announces with a hint of defiance, "is what happens when you mess with halfling pride and fair play. Your eagle, Griff, just another ingredient in a meal that champions honesty and respect."

As Griff fumes and protests, Oggy-Boggy continues to eat the pie, each bite a testament to his resolve. It's a bold move, perhaps controversial, but in the world of Blood Bowl, sometimes gestures speak louder than words.

*made with real eagle

Now I hope me maties, that you ate this tale up and relished it as much as I did. Griff's sure to be as hot as a boiling teakettle, haha!

Come to the Gourmet Hearth to try our chicken pot pie.

Oggy-Boggy, executive chef at the Gourmet Hearth and owner of the Culinaryton Hamfists.
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Posted by JamesLangley on 2024-07-09 06:14:37
Guess you really can kill 2 birds with one stone.
Posted by Nightbird on 2024-07-09 19:03:01
Griff Rules!