“Very good game by Coach Satan's Mechanic and his Tales of Misery and Woe (TOMAW). The Fossils struggled in the first drive and really were lucky to escape with the TD just on half time. The blocking coach will have a lot of work to do before next game to get the lads thinking straight about following up to the likes of Mummies.

The 2nd half was a survival exercise, and with more guys off than on the field the Fossils resembled very clumbsy elves. Still nothing can be taken away from the bits and peices TOMAW. Stand-out players over the duration of the game included:

3pts - #4 Ancient Sorrow, who did well with key blitzs and rushing the first of the TOMAW touchdowns.

2pts - #12 Suicidal Rage, who bit, kicked, spat and did all sorts of foul actions on the field that turned the Fossils back to the dugout. Fossils Management is trying to place of price of 30k on this little grots scalp.

1pt - #2 Gagged and Chained. Not sure if he deserves the point, but he kept knocking Fossils over (twits kept standing up though...).”