“A game of two halves, this.

Missing team leader Montgomery, Nelson boldly stepped up, and placing his spyglass over his eyepatch, declared "I see no signal to retreat!" Unfortunately, he also did not see the frantic signals coming in from the sidelines, and was crushed to death by a falling branch.

The ref also seemed to be blind, as he missed the vicious "ich habe hunger", who lived up to his name and was trying to take bites out of various Hounds whenever he found one on the ground, and was a cause of great distraction, contributing to a 1-0 halftime score for the halfling squad.

It was discovered that Pyrrhus has a soft spot for trees, refusing to hurt them, or to do anything else, when near them. Coach Saladin is considering calling all opposing teams "lumberjacks" in an attempt to move the huge linesman from his natural inertia.

The second half was another story, however: with Alexander distributing the ball to his star blitzers, and Patton coming up with the brilliant idea to apply fertilizer to the field below the treant roots, causing one to immobilize itself, the Hounds came away with the victory.

And with five casualties in the past two games, they're looking for a new armourer, too. Up next, the second amazon team in this division, Gaia Lemnos.”