“It was a case of mistaken identity ... the elves neglected to look in the mirror to check their hair on the way out to the stadium, and felt every inch like they were orcs.

And it showed on the pitch ... where they almost completely ignored the ball, where their attempts to even just pick up the ball were mostly met with failure. So instead, they focused on battering the thralls off the pitch. And when Lestat de Lioncourt was sent off with a groin sprain, Azalea Runner grabbed a file and started sharpening his teeth.

A great game coached by Tathar, who did a wonderful job advancing the ball.”