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Match Result · League division
Match recorded on 2003-11-02 01:08:58
TV 1640k High Elf
0
Winnings 50k
Spectators
-1 Fanfactor
Casualties 0/0/0
 
 
Orc TV 1610k
3
40k Winnings
Spectators
Fanfactor No change
0/0/0 Casualties
Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
-
2
-
-
-
2
-
-
-
-
-
#2
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
#5
-
-
-
-
1
5
-
-
-
-
-
#9
-
1
-
-
-
1
-
-
-
-
-
TOTALS
-
3
-
-
1
8
-
-
-
-
-
Player Performances
 
 
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
#1
2
-
-
-
-
6
-
-
-
-
-
#3
1
-
-
-
-
3
-
-
-
-
-
#10
-
-
-
-
1
5
-
-
-
-
-
#12
-
1
-
1
-
3
-
-
-
-
-
TOTALS
3
1
-
1
1
17
-
-
-
-
-
I've played several games that were rather frustrating for me, but I never had one that was as frustrating for my opponent as this match. The poor Tunes were badly beaten up, and were lucky to escape uninjured. This was, however, the only luck they ever had tonight. (Well, they were pretty good at dodging, but it didn't do them any good in the end!)

Receiving first, I started the game with a KO by Battle Cat, and decided to try a cage push. That might have worked even better if this ogre hadn't failed his Bonehead roll on turn 2, wasting my blitz. Still I was advancing pretty well, but abandoned the cage too early, sending three blitzers away to score. Of course, they were surrounded by elves. Then my second wave of attackers rushed in, and a major scrum followed. Buzz-Off barely managed to hold onto the ball thanks to his Dodge skill (all three blocks against him were pow/pushbacks). Finally he knocked one opponent down and dodged another to run into the end zone and score the 1-0.

But worse things were to come for the Tunes. The next kickoff roll was a blitz, and before the elves even had a chance to take care of the ball, the orcs had already sent a couple of players to cover it. Then AG 5 Lineelf Tom made an incredible series of dodges right through four opponents and picked up the ball, but failed the 2+ short pass that could have lead to the equalizer. Still the Masters couldn't get the ball, but again Tom failed a 2+ roll to pick it up. He-Man then knocked him down, scooped up the ball and ran into the end zone for the 2-0.

In the second half, the Tunes received the ball and tried to make their way through the center, while the orcs attacked them from all sides. They soon had an opportunity when Tom tried to pass the ball to Road Runner, who was open and free to score, but fumbled it with a double 1. Speedy Gonzales could barely grab the ball to prevent it from getting lost. The Masters responded by taking some hits at their opponents and knocking about half of them down. Despite having three tacklezones on him, Speedy tried the pass again - only to have it intercepted by Lineorc Roboto! The orcs celebrated this great move by pounding their opponents even more. But the Tunes' morale was broken, and they didn't even try to put up any resistance as the orcs walked away with the ball and He-Man scored his second TD of the match, making it 3-0 on turn 5.

The match was all but decided, but the Tunes still wanted to score at least one touchdown. First, Calvin (the other Ag 5 lineelf) was unable to catch a pass, but then Buzz-Off failed his Dodge roll, and the elves broke through the weakened center of the Masters' defenses. Calvin passed the ball to catcher Hägar, and several teammates backed him up against the orcs. He now was in a pretty comfortable position. Even though He-Man managed to get through to him, Stratos's blitz wasn't as successful, and the orc went down. Now, the odds for Hägar *not* passing his dodge roll were 1/36. Guess what happened? He rolled snake eyes...

Thus ended a disastrous game for the Tunes, who had every single of their actions destroyed by abysmally bad luck. The Masters didn't really have to break a sweat to win, they just had to wait until the ball was played right into their hands. Consequently, some of the Tunes' fans left after this beating, not believing how an elf team can be so unable to play the ball.

It was indeed quite shocking to see the 1s falling, one after the other, right in the most crucial situations. How the luck-o-meter can claim poi66 was luckier than I is beyond me - he must have been cursed by Nuffle really badly. There was just no way for him to win, or even score...

<b>Quotes of the Day:</b>

<i>"Dey were no fun, deze panzeez. Dey could not hit, dey could not dodge, an' dey could not frow. Dey weren't even fas'er zan me."</i>
(Blitzer He-Man, who scored twice and was undoubtedly one of the fastest players on the pitch)

<i>"He frew it right agains' my head! I jus' had to take it outta my face!"</i>
(Lineorc Roboto, whose interception led to the third touchdown and caused the Tunes to fall into deep depression)
 
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