“The game started off with a wicked crash... WWW sent an unlucky lineelf out on a stretcher right to start, so "Simpleton" Sidorenko put on his slaughtering shoes, called for his teammates to bushwhack Rauke Silberzweig, and did a triple-somersault cleated heel-skull-crush to send in the stretcher bearers again and draw the red card.

From there, the match was played with about even numbers, but Coulda Been a Contenda showed consistently strong positioning, forcing WWW to toss the ball past their pass screen, resulting in an interception, or flooding the backfield and scaring the pants off the ball carrier. "No Teef" Tomassino flashed about the pitch, blitzing the ball loose on more than one occasion from sloppy cages, and even surviving a six man attempt to hurl him into the adoring crowd.

ELF scoring: +10 match +10 win +8 own tds -2 opponent tds +2 casualty points = 28 pts”