“Much celebrating was had last night as Real Sociedead completed their run of defeating the odds and cemented their place in the OBBA’s top flight division, the Premiership, for Season 4 after a convincing victory over Karaz-a-Karak United.

After the blood bath against the combined might of Sylvania Villa and the Ref, Real could only pull a team together that resembled something from the lowly South Conference, but were it not for the stench of rotting flesh, many would think that on this night, the Undead’s had heart!

Aided by a Virus that the Dwarf contingency had picked up and some heavy drinking to try and wash it away, their numbers were reduced to eleven fit men at the most.

As the Dwarves lined up against Real this looked like it would help greatly… until the Karaz Army stormed the field and left only seven Real players standing, 3 of which were on the LOS and destined for a beating of their own. The Dwarves delivered just that with a KO and a stun, and followed up to man mark the few left standing. A deep offence though meant that they couldn’t really capitalise on Real’s Star Mummy, Mikel González, prone position.

Real could offer little resistance, but the Dwarves failed to pile on the pressure and despite a grand position at the start made a meal of their attack and allowed the Undead to get back into the game.

Star Zombie, Fredrik Olsson, opened the CAS count by breaking a talented Long Beard’s neck and seriously injuring him. The Mummies finally got involved and Zombie, Arturo Sevillano sent another senior Longbeard to the CAS box, and newly appointed team captain, Karla Laburu blitzed the ball carrier, hitting him twice, but failing to put him down.

At this point the Dwarves’ clean break was blocked and they had to play outside their comfort zone, dodging here and there. A dodge through Real players and a completed pass to a Troll Slayer later and finally a sprint saw a wondrous Karaz TD… obviously these Dwarves were more adept at the elfballing game!

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Real had a full quarter in which to reply though and, against nine men, felt confident of levelling the score, despite having no margin for failure (No RRs). The first foul of the game saw the first sending off and little to show for the effort. The Dwarven coach scoffed at Real’s choice of target, a rookie Longbeard, and claimed that they should have selected Karim, despite him being stunned at the time.

The Dwarves concentrated on super strong zombie, Fredrik Olsson, who had caused them much trouble already and showed Real just how to foul by sending him to the BH box.

Another display of Dwarven dexterity and a little luck tumbled the Ball Carrying Ghoul and sent him to join Fredrik, but when another attempted Dwarven dodge failed in disaster they couldn’t hold Real back and Karla stepped in and comfortably scored in the dying moments.

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Second half; and a bad kick allowed Real to give the ball to Zombie, Arturo, in the hopes of improving their back bone even more.
It was nine versus ten and the odds were a little more favourable for Karaz – this was soon dropped to eight as, under the advice of the Karaz coach, Ion ran in with a boot to Karim’s head and left him with a career long injury that perplexed their apothecary on what to do to help – Ion was then promptly sent off… a biased referee, no doubt the same from their last game. You’d have thought the Karaz coach would have been happy to see his advice taken… but nope, the miserable sod looked on miserably!

From there on the game was over for the Dwarves. A easily-presented surf completed the CAS count and a Zombie TD was insult to injury for the Karaz boys!

Real had won convincingly, got revenge against their rivals (made so by the fact that it is was Karaz who retired Real’s start Mummy and begun their spiral of decent) and left the relegated likelies with a parting gift to remember their time in the Premiership, for:

The Premiership is for the Dead, and they keep it that way!

If Real can finish fourth (Although not firmly decided yet) in a very bad season, perhaps aspirations can be raised next?

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Enjoyable game Dan, a real testament to your character in still managing to smile and joke whilst hitting your head on your desk under great blood bowl frustration and a job rejection at the same time. :D

Had you made most of your first two offensive turns, which due to a deep setup you couldn’t, then it may have been a very different game with a gang foul to a felled mummy and a clear path to him.

Some early, lucky, CAS and the combination of Morley’s and Virus was disastrous for you and left it very hard for you to establish your bashing force, especially by the second half.

Good luck in the cup(s) mate!

I really hope you get the respite you want in the Championship, assuming there are no further retirements within the Prem.

GG mate.



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