“What can I say? In my opinion the scoreline was the wrong way around! These Orc-elves made countless dodges - and not their agile player who was purposefully pinned down by beastmen - which were critical to both the defensive and offensive tactics and eventual scores at the end of both halves. My players obviously just were not up for it as anything remotely important was limply failed. At least they could have entertained the crowd by killing themselves being useless. Nope, they were just totally impotent. Nothing worked and nothing interesting happened except LineBreaker eventually scored. Twice. Somehow an orc got hurt but at a totally unimportant part of the play. No wonder the fans left early. In fact, the crowd were so bored that when the ball went into touch they threw it amongst themselves taunting the players for their dull display.

Fortunately LineBreaker was far more pleasant than the action on the pitch and I enjoyed his company, if nothing else. Well done on the win (hope my match report doesn't sound too bad!) and see you soon and I swear it'll be a reversal!”