“Well what an unbelievable DICE RAPE, that was. I mean I only averaged 64%; 9% more than my opponent. Which goes to show NUFFLE does have a sense of humour. What's more my new super sexy totty girlfriend has dumped me, and I still haven't sorted out that business from when I took a senior (in position and age) member of staff (who is married) home with me after getting really drunk and wakening up the next morning remembering her crying and saying she loved me. So all in all I can say I have had enough, and you aren't going to see me on FUMBBL for a very very VERY short time indeed.

Twahnlows

1# Emiko for giving me a 13 hour shift on Wednesday: Nice
2# Drew and Dax for trashing a karaoke booth: Rock n Roll
3# Haruna for not seeing how hunky a catch I am. Well your loss honey, I have them queueing around the corner, NO THE WORLD for me! The fact I spend all my time on here is because I am a great if not the greatest player ever and has nothing to do with being unpopular and lack of social skills!


===TALE OF THE TAPE===

Yet again I lost the kick off and yet again it had absolutely no affect on the game.

Harvestmouse started well countering fatty taunts (it's puppy fat, I will grow out of it) and slowness jibes with a beautiful 'bully is a drunkard' reposte. However this was water off of a ducks back for Aussie coach, not slowing him down one bit as the pair traded slurs and jeers during the early stages of the match.

The rest of the half went well for harvestmouse, it was always going to be a hard game for the lizzies, but they did score first. However the Norsemen equalised late on, also causing casualties to some of the skinks.

Start of the 2nd started as planned. More skink casualties and good positioning. Then I made a blunder of a life, missing a tackle zone sent a player tumbling early in my turn. What made the blunder worse was the skink was a diving tackler. Of course this wasn't my fault as such, but I am far too much of a gentleman to list very many of the reasons why it wasn't my fault. However these reasons included...............................................................................

After that it was a bit of a scramble. The bus back to the hotel was obviously leaving soon, as players from both sides left in their droves. With 2 turns left the ball was lose, but thankfully I had cleared the pitch of all the annoying ski......nooooooooooooooooo there was one left!!! Who came running in to pick up the ball. My block sent him crashing and the ball landed neatly in the palms of an awaiting saurus who had obviously stolen those said palms off of a passing elf for the day.

Bully being the gent he is, rubbed salt further into the wound by 1 dice blitzing my covering norse/block player with a skink and that honest to god is how I lost to a man more drunk than a turtle in whisky soup!

Bullockist showed lots of fighting spirit throughout the match the quality I most admire in a coach. So for that reason alone, I wish him the worst of luck for the rest of the season. It will be a real acheivement to get a Lizzie team in the prem.

Twahnlows

3# No9 IH8STU For remember the superglue for his hands/claws/talons
2# No14 Atomistic for being a oppotomistic little lucker.
1# Also No14 For being the only Skink to survive this brutal encounter

”