“[Bob]
Welcome to ESPN Cabalvision: the Beautiful Game! I'm Bob the Builder and here with me is Jimbo Thorpe, here to bring you the football news of the weekend, seven days a week!

[Jimbo]
That's exactly right Bob, and as I predicted last week, Wales took a beating at the hands of Thor FC.

[Bob]
And what a beating it was was! I haven't seen a beating like that since the famous no-treeman team Furry Foot Foulers retired 10 years ago.

[Jimbo]
I haven't seen a beating like that since my step-daughter started boarding school.

[Bob]
She's a red-head?

[Jimbo]
You know it!

[Bob]
Anyway, this game is a real showcase of the Wales team. We saw some really solid gameplay last week against West Ham, but Wales really fell apart this week.

[Jimbo]
That's right Bob, and good teamwork was really crucial for this game – Wales was outmanned and underskilled to take on this monstrosity. If you ask me, Thor FC is the team to watch this season.

[Bob]
And that's why the Wales team is inconsistent, when the pressure's on, their tactics go to the dogs.

[Jimbo]
And it's funny that they did score, but it really was only because of a few of the Norse blitzers were a bit too drunk. The cage they advanced in the first half was pretty weak, and only a lucky trip kept an escape route open for the ballcarrier.

[Bob]
And I'd like to say here that it's amazing they scored even then, I'd have to say I saw some very risky blocking going on, and for some reason the ballcarrier really hung back until the very last second.

[Jimbo]
You know it's worth mentioning that Wales muscle really didn't help a lot this game. Norse are animals when it comes to grappling, and we saw a lot of successful double-teaming this game. In fact, this whole game was really defined by brave Norsemen facing up some really brawny Welshmen and coming out on top.

[Bob]
And stomping on their faces, of course. We saw a lot of dirty play and a lot of face-booting this game. I was pretty amazed – you don't usually see so many midfielders go down on the Welsh side. In fact, I was amazed after the game to realize that Thor actually walked away unscathed. Is it possible that there's an inside deal going on somewhere here? I've never seen a Norse team without a few dead bodies in their first season.

[Jimbo]
Well that's an interesting thought Bob, and I'm sure the league commissioners are keeping a close eye on the books of Thor FC. Norse aren't the type I'd pick to pay off another team, but we've seen stranger things before!

[Bob]
Like your whale of a wife in a teddy.

[Jimbo]
I'll kill you and eat your firstborn, I swear it.

[Bob]
I'm sure you will. Well, our time's up folks, but thanks for joining us for this week's edition of The Beautiful Game. Don't forget to catch us next week... Wales is facing the Watford Khornets, and we're all betting on how high the pile of corpses will be!

[Jimbo]
It'll be one higher when I'm done with you. This is Jimbo Thorpe and Bob the Builder, signing off. Good night and see you next time!

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