“They say that unless you’re a self loathing High Elf coach that you can’t attain the dream and if you’re used to battling for mid table finishes in the Premiership you’d be a fool to even try.

Real Sociedead already have a Premiership title to their name, sure it was the first season when the OBBA was a much smaller stage, back when Lifrig were good, almost every Prem team were denizens of the Undead and before anyone had even heard the name Pimplegoo – but since then Real have longed to add the OBBA Cup to their cabinet!


After several weeks of training Real were eager to get back on the pitch currently enjoying the best shape and form of their five Season Careers. Confidence was so high that they had already scheduled their second game before even playing the first – a move that most considered to be highly disrespectful to their first opponents, BBC Internazionale Milano.

But Milano hadn’t won in ages, in fact it is often said that the only coach who feels more shame than the Milano one is the coach of the team who lost to them in their otherwise 15 game losing streak, Borgen! (*snigger*)

The game started off very surprisingly though as Milano’s new signing, Mario Balotelli’s, first ever contribution to the club was slaying a zombie! The Real coach got out the slate and started the Milano Zombie account – they owed them one.

But there ended any Milano success, a string of Throw Team Mate score attempts failed and Real quickly swamped the Orcs sending a great majority of them to the KO box in their 3 – 0 victory!

Following the game a locker room inspection, initiated due to suspicion that Milano had used some illegal narcotics that left their Troll buzzing, revealed several letters to Santa asking for some armour for Christmas and coach Russo who ‘hid’ amongst the dirty linen.


Their next match promised to be a real contest as they were to play Tottering Hotspurs, home of the infamous Paul "5-Bellies" Gascoigne.

Real however were very surprised to see the arrival of a very forlorn looking coach Robbo44, not to be confused with Robbo43 or 45, as he had to sadly report that owing to a virus (that time of year) and some warring egos that several of his players wouldn’t be taking part… without Gazza this suddenly seemed to be a different game!

Real had been pumping themselves for the game, not in the same way that Coach Russo pumps his players of course, and they weren’t ready to let up despite playing a weaker side than they had expected.

An inspired Blitz for Hotspur and several attempts in the first half to reach the ball carrier, all which came to naught, was their only real efforts in the game. Several brutal RIPs amongst their ranks left most of them happily laying on the ground or tossing the ball to and fro deep in their own half before Real overpowered them.

Despite the carnage, Real had elected not to foul Hotspur, but after Hotspur began targeting a Mummy it was time to step in. Hotspur’s precious Ogre was knocked to the floor, and rather than risk it standing up to lay the boot in again on Real’s precious Mummy Real this time stuck the boot in, leaving the Ogre with a permanent reminder of the game!

In the end, Real comfortably won 2 – 0.

Now they fully expect to face off against bitter Rivals Mummywell FC in the third round!


===
Two different games, two same results.

Hullon’s team really didn’t have much of a chance, his attempt to never drive forward but instead throw a Goblin proved that as his Orcs battle on with a TR that most Conference teams would scoff at. I might have attempted what Robbo did and skill up those 5spp Linos by passing deep.

His Orcs flew to the KO box and bounced right back out, and then back in.
Best of luck for next season mate.


I don’t think I know of anyone I play regularly who fares so badly with the dice than Robbo44, every game we play seems to consist of him having a train wreck, and this one did not differ. The handicaps couldn’t have been better if I’d selected them, Virus and Greatest. An early RIP on a block lino left him without an Apo for the greater part of the game and two more followed.

The RIPs weren’t on great players though, but after his Ogre put down a mummy and then he fouled it for a stun I suddenly had to foul back or risk another av + ing roll on my precious Mummy, my foul however was cruel and despite it not coming from the boot of a DP, niggled his Block+Guard Ogre.

Sorry for the dicing Robbo and I hope the team is still playable for next season!


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