“I hate the games where you get a few MNG, but save apoth for more serious injuries...and then end up not using apoth.


The Lizards faced an orc team commanded by, RandomOracle a coach with a excellent record. Handicaps were neither given nor received. The Lizards had just had a excellent game with some chaos, only losing a skink, and were ready for what ever could be thrown at them.

The orcs were in no way a destroying team. They had two DP, but no MB other than their STR6, multiblock Troll (someone the Lizards would have to keep an eye on.) Even if things got bloody, the Lizards still had a nice stockpile waiting to be used on replacements. It had been quite a few games since star blitzer, The Fourth Angriest Lizard, had been close to skilling up. Coach WindexChugger feared the skill up, because it was the 5th skill and aging was a significant risk.


The game started out beautifully. Weather was great, Lizards were receiving, and the kick was short. The Fourth Angriest Lizard charged one of Buffy Episodes' dirty players, but even with two blocks against the DP, the orc stood strong.

The Troll fell on the line, and one of the Lizards foulers knocked him out. Except for the failed blitz, things were going great. Then things turned a bit. The Lizards went for the ball, but failed the pick up! The kick had been so short that it was in reach of a few of Buffy Episodes' orcs. Luckily, the ball hand bounced between three lizards.

The Orcs couldn't block though. And even after a block and a blitz, all Lizards were standing. Buffy Episodes sent their +AG blitzer, "What's My Line, Part 2", at the ball, but he failed pickup. The ball scattered...away from the lizards to between two orcs!

Skinks positioned themselves perfectly, assisting their bigger brothers in blocks. Soon, half of Buffy Episodes' players were lying on the ground. The ball was scooped up and moved into a...less than perfectly safe position.

The orcs made their grab at the ball. They got a 1die block on the ball carrier, and managed to bring him down. The Ball carrier was knocked out, but only one other lizard was knocked down that turn. The Ball had bounced, but it was protected enough. The orcs attempt at the ball had failed.

The Lizards were feeling great, the ball wasn't in perfect position, but the orcs were being repeatedly knocked to the ground. A skink picked up the ball, and moved into a well defended position. Again, 5 of the 10 Buffy Episodes players were on the ground: one was stunned.

The Lizards continued their bashing. The Papa Lizard even managed a multiblock, although he was unable to get a pow. Although only 4 orcs were standing, coach WindexChugger didn't feel the ball was safely guarded. Luckily, the only orc within reach was covered by a skink that specialized in diving tackles.

RandomOracle yelled across the field, and the orcs responded my moving around their blitzer. A block and a push freed the blitzer from the diving tackle skink. A quick dodge and the ball was loose!

Things were still going good. Only one orc could reach the ball, the Lizards could continue beating up Buffy Episodes and send off a break tackle saurus to free the ball from that pesky orc blitzer.

If only plans worked out...the Lizards were struck with snake eyes on the break tackle! Things had taken a sudden and VERY sharp turn for the worse. Critical failure at the most important moment.

Buffy Episodes grabbed the ball and ran it towards the endzone, far out of reach of any Lizard blitz that wouldn't require a 5+ dodge. But then, for unknown reasons, coach RandomOracle had a blitzer dodge; the dodge failed! A saurus freed the Lizards' MA8 Frenzy saurus, The Second Strongest Lizard. The Second Strongest Lizard rushed the ball carrier, knocking him over. All was not lost!

Two Lizards surrounded the ball and only 5 orcs were standing when Buffy Episodes moved into action. They pushed the skink guarding the ball over, and stuck 2 orcs next to the ball. The Papa Lizard was pushed around, and then The Fourth Biggest Lizard was seriously injured on a foul! He would miss the next game.

It was T7, the Lizards had to move quickly if they wanted to score. They got two skinks in position to score, and sent the remaining skink to the ball. But the skink failed a dodge out of harms way and knocked himself out!! The ball handling would have to be done by the Saurus.

Buffy Episodes didn't give the Lizards that opportunity. They dodged a orc out, who grabbed the ball and scored. The Lizard had only one turn to score...they would try their best.


Three orcs lined up, praying to be kept standing. Oddly, the Lizards were praying the same. They needed 4 pushes for a chance at the last moment TD. But the Lizards' opening blitz knocked down the orc...reroll...pushback! On the fourth push, the lizards knocked down, and it looked like chance of scoring were gone. Coach WindexChugger shouted from his place by the Dungeon doors, and the Lizards moved quick. Another two blocks moved the intended skink far enough forward that he could score! The ball was grabbed...only two GFI's and then a handoff. The intended skink had surefeet, and so the hardest part, Coach WindexChugger thought, would be getting the ball to the skink. He was right...a failed GFI in attempt to handoff ended the Lizards' chances of scoring.


The second half was going to be rough! Buffy Episodes' fans had tied up the ref, and he wouldn't call out any orcs for foul play! Buffy Episodes was also receiving, and the Lizards were already down 0-1.

The opening blocks saw all three of the line-Lizards fall. The foul, however, was weak and only showed a stun. Hoping to foul Buffy Episodes in return, the Lizards set up a chain push. They blitzed one of the two orc foulers, but even with frenzy couldn't bring him down. The push had brought one of Buffy Episodes' blitzers next to a saurus. The saurus blocked...no luck. No orcs had fallen, there would be no lizard foul...things looked bad.

The Papa Lizard was stunned into the KO box, his thick skull doing what it normally did...nothing. A saurus fell at the feet of multiple orcs, and the orcs moved the ball forward. Most of the team was standing for the Lizards' turn. They wanted vengeance for the Papa Lizard.

The Orc Blitzer that had resisted falling the first turn fell then. SIX Lizards jumped on him...knocked out.

A skink fell to the wrath of Buffy Episodes' troll. Even though the eye of the ref was on the Lizards, RandomOracle sent his dirty player for a 1 assist foul...armor not even broken! The Lizards could foul again for free.

And foul they did. A skink(!) brought down a Black Orc Blocker, and another Black Orc was fouled to the KO box. The ball was under assault by a saurus...the Lizards were pushing back.

Again, Buffy Episodes fouled...this time they stunned a pre-stunned saurus. The Foul showed the saurus to be...re-stunned. Now the Lizards could foul...again!

One of Buffy Episodes' foulers was knocked out in blitz. The skinks put on their game faces, and blocked two Black Orcs! One went down, the other only pushed back (but pushed back by a skink!) The foul came in...only stun.

Buffy Episodes had learned. Although they could have done a 3 assist, non-DP foul, they decided it wasn't worth it. The ball was moved downfield, into the well protected hands of a blitzer.

The Lizards blitzed down an orc, and pinned down Buffy Episodes defenses. They sent two skinks to cover the ball carrier. The first got there, but the second failed a dodge! The Ball carrier blitzed his way free and scored his Buffy Episodes' second TD. The game was lost, it seemed.


The Lizards lined up for one final attempt at scoring. Buffy Episodes kicked and...Blitz!

Orcs rushed the ball. No orcs were left the backfeild; coach RandomOracle had decided to put everything at getting a 3-0 shutout. If the Lizards did score, it wouldn't mean anything.

The Lizards blocked furiously, and managed to get the ball down field, well out of reach of any orcs. The Papa Lizard and two skinks were down field...no orcs were even close. Two turns left.

The orcs bashed around the Lizards who were left on the line, hoping to deal some injuries, but to no avail. Three orcs were sent down field to stop the score. The Papa lizard marked two, and a saurus broke free and blitzed down the other orc.

The orcs made a last ditch effort to stop the Lizards. A blitzer was brought in to help take down the Papa Lizard. The Papa Lizard was pushed back, freeing a DP orc to blitz the ball carrier. Even without block or tackle, he managed to bring down the ball carrier...and grab the ball!

A break tackle saurus rushed him, knocked him over...the ball bounced into the waiting arms of a skink, who easily walked over the endzone line in the final moments of the game.


It was a good game, but the Lizards felt cheated by the snake-eyes trip in the first half. Things could have been 2-1 in Lizards favor. The crowd was getting tired of these "We don't kill anything" Lizards, and took away a FF. The Lizards would need to cause more casaulties, and score more...and win more, if they wanted to keep the fans.

The next game would be harder than usual, because two Lizards (a saurus and a skink) would miss the game. The Lizards now had a huge stockpile. If the Fourth Angriest Lizards aged, the Lizards would be ready to replace him.

Still, with two MNG and a huge stock pile, the Lizards rating was 241/195. It would be difficult to find a non-handicap game that wasn't +20 (or more) TR.

For the first time in a long time, the Lizards had a losing record! Coach WindexChugger stated in a press release after the game that "It's okay. We've been taking things a bit slowly, too slowly, with several aging rolls coming upon us. With our stockpile ready to go, you can expect to see the Lizards winning matches without fear of who to use."


It was a great game, RandomOracle. Other than you fouling a bit too much when you had the ref (no need to get the eye off me in a 1 assist foul against AV9) you played excellently. Rematch anytime.”