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Match Result · Ranked division
Match recorded on 2009-04-29 12:36:38
70k
2/0/2
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
3
2
4
-
1
24
-
-4
54
31
-
Player Performances
td
comp
cas
int
mvp
spp
turns
pass
rush
block
foul
TOTALS
1
3
-
-
1
11
-
2
14
18
-
#1 Meren – Dead (RIP)
#4 Móriril – Dead (RIP)
“Good game all things considered. Meetgrinder was a great opponent, look forward to playing again with a new team of course!”
Dear Father,
As you know I told you where to stick your campaign of death and terror against the surface world, and went instead to play Bloodbowl. Wait, before you order a thousand slaves beheaded in a blind rage, I must tell you that I played against a team of Good Elves! Yes father, as you know there are other elven teams out there, and we wish to prove our royal selves the very best.
So it was that we got 'stuck in' and the other elves, expecting some kind of throwing and catching affair were sorely disappointed. Actually, so was I when I found out mother had packed mittens instead of gloves and they're a bit of a swine to pick the ball up with. Come to think of it, my royal guard appear to be shortsighted too, as they can't throw worth a damn either.
I was fearing the worst after my team of clumsy half blind idiots could only watch in stupefaction as the opponent ran rings around us, literally. They danced in and out of what is called a 'tackle zone' with nary a thought or pause, and simply ignored us, like we weren't there. I'm thinking of changing our team designation to Ogres, as most of my Royal guard appear to be complete bone heads.
Anyway, time, and the lads indignation at being treated as training posts to run round told, and the Elves started to crumble like cheese, fold like paper. Even so, they had the cheek to score! Can you imagine the furore from my travelling army of slave fans? Well, it was furore after they'd been whipped into stopping cheering.
Anyway, after that I galvanised the lads by promising a win bonus - they wouldn't be beheaded and their families cast into the fires of tartarus. After that they beat what was left of the Elves into bloody submission, and the game was over. We'd won, of course, did you expect otherwise?
My own performance was superb. I seemed to shake off the bounds of gravity and became... more agile, shall I say. Targus, of the Royal Guard, has shown an aptitude for fisticuffs.
I have enlisted a new army of followers, subjugated from the population by fire, whip and sword, and plan to further my career. Stick your war up your backside.
Respect, honour and hoping you die soon so I can be king, Luthor
================
Letter from Prince Luthor Maledread to his Mother, Queen Marietta Maledread
Dear Mother,
Had a lovely time at the seaside.
See you soon.
Blades, honour and well prepared poison,
Luthor
”