“NWFL Season 4 Rd 9.

With the Division rival Platypi next up on the schedule and fielding only 11 players (including two freebooters) the Sucker management decided to pull out all the stops. They raided the treasury to procure the services of Madame Mystique, master of the dreaded Virus, Thaumaturgist Zeitgeit the Amazing, for his mystical protection spells, and the Witch Emmanuel Strongbrew, for a potion of heavy-hitting and a hex of bad luck.

The excessive cost of these 'team supplements' meant they'd only last a half, but management felt sure that would be enough. Turns out Mystique is crook and a fraud though, as only the Ogre Broose Smiff niggled out prior to the match. She'll be on the Sucker hit list, don't you worry.

The other wizards lived up to their reputation however, and the Sucker handicaps from being down over 50TR (palmed coin and a bribe) paid off as well. The Suckers received and went on the attack. A first turn foul drew out the bribe, but it also saw Emerging Star Kent Hulk cas'd with a serious injury. One guard-tackler out of the game.

The Suckers got the ball and started a drive up the left hash. Some stout defense forced a reversal though, and the vampire team swung the ball back to the right sideline while the effects of their enchantments took their toll. Platypi after Platypi were sent to the KO and Cas box. Stars Bryce Pulp and James Lofty were hammered by the suprisingly heavy-hitting thralls. The Suckers pushed across the first TD on T8.

The second half saw the humans recieve down two players but they quickly addressed that problem, KOing and casing thralls and Count Gobolov, and by T4 had evened up the numbers. The all-thrall Sucker defense was up to the task however, and even though Zeitgeit's spell had worn off, they didn't suffer any perms.

By T13 the humans were desperate and left themselves open to a blitz from Geroghe, who flattened and KO'd ball-carrier DareKill Talley. Neither team could capitalize from the resulting scrum until rookie Sergei managed to grab the ball after his mates had cleared the Platypi from it. He broke downfield and with a couple of succesful gfi opened enough space to make it difficult for the human defense to get back. As it turns out, they didn't bother and chose to bash on the thralls, whose armor continued to hold up to repeated hits.

Coach Ironcollar on his teams performance after the match:

"Wha? Yesh, the Thralls played well. They act'lly managed to ge' i' done even afta Gobo ghot hur'. Couldn' b'lieve it myshelf act'lly. Crazy game.

"Coach, what of the reports that you've been drinking excessively lately? Has that affected your game calling?"

"Eff you, you f'king basherd! You wan' my job?! You c'n have it! You think coach'n a bunch of talentlesh hacks is easy? Pish off!"”