“E.L.F. Season XXVI
Game 5 Scoring
Baseline: 12 points (lower TV between 1201-1400)
Win: 10 points
TDs differential: 1 points (2 TDs for/1 TD against)
Casualties: 3 points
Bonuses: 0 points for shutout victory
Cat C (Bones & Moans): 0 points
Total: 26 points

The cast and crew of Twin Peaks were out all night celebrating their win against Old Ones 1st Bank, even partying with some of the Slann of aforementioned team no less. Guess they wanted to meet the new froggie catcher, Twin Peaks Savings & Loan. Whatever the reason, they missed rehearsals and showed up on the set in no condition to film the episode. The opening scene went great, as a Blitz! on the kickoff roll gave the Wood Walkers a chance get Agent Cooper under the ball and he caught it. The Orchestra of Wolves responded immeadiately by surrounding Agent Cooper and getting the ball back. Then a failed Leap by Sheriff Truman ended the scene prematurely, and was followed by a seemingly unending series of failed dodges, failed pickups, failed passes and even a dropped catch. The Orchestra of Wolves on the other hand was a fine tuned instrument, performing a symphony of grace and destruction as they swept across the pitch and scored easily in T8 after recovering from the shock of the Blitz! Then on the last kick off of the half, Big Ed Hurley was hit in the head by a rock, and fractured his skull. He was always bragging how his noggin was tough as oak, but I guess that rock was tougher. The apothecary had already been called on to patch up Sheriff Truman who was Badly Hurt when an Oboe fell on him (Dirty Foul). Like 2 or 3 times, to the head!

We started the 2nd half with only 7 players but set up for a quick score and got a good kick. Special Agent Cooper cleared the Cello out of the way, and Bobby Briggs finally completed a pass to Deputy Hill. After moving everyone to cover Hawk's run for the endzone, he took off. He was trying to put distance between himself and any potential instruments, and wasn't watching where he was going. He tripped over his own feet and dropped the ball, but it took a good bounce. Flute picked it up, but didn't get very far. Hawk and Sherriff Truman doubleteamed him and Badly Hurt him. But Harry then fumbled the ball instead of picking it up. After quite a bit more hijinx, the ball finally landed where Special Agent Cooper could get it, and dodging out and then picking it up in traffic, he got it to Deputy Brennan who ran it in. The next kickoff we didn't hold out much hope, but the cast pressed on. The Orchestra formed a text-book perfect cage, and neither side was expecting any leaping heroics. But Agent Cooper wanted one more chance to redeem the show, and I allowed him to freelance a scene. Leaping in, he stripped the ball from Violin, Sherrif Truman picked it up and handed it Deputy Hawk, and Hawk was able to run it in with no pressure. Agent Cooper got a boot to the face for his trouble, but it didn't hurt him, and Sheriff Truman was Badly Hurt by Trombone. With only 2 turns left, a Pitch Invasion really messed up the Orchestras set up, denying them anyone close to where the ball landed. Cello went down field anyway, the rest of the Orchestra took out my last 2 line elves, and Cooper and Hawk were stunned from the Pitch Invasion. Only Deputy Brennan could put pressure on Cello, but he fell down on his first GFI and the Orchestra still had life. The pass from Violin to a zombie (forget which one) was successful, as was the GFI to hand off to Cello. But Cello was so busy laugh at Deputy Brennan who KO'd himself, that he dropped the hand off and the game ended.

Thanks for the exciting game, Jimjimany. It definitely kept us both on our toes. Looks like Nuffle hit us both at different times, but he hit you last and that's probably the only reason I pulled off a successful episode. Good luck with the team.

Skills (2):

Big Ed Hurley - Fend (3 1) The audience loved seeing Ed get hit with a rock so much, they voted him MVP for the episode. Big Ed decided to train in Fend to keep his adoring fans at arm's length. He doesn't like it when they mess up his hair

Bobby Briggs - Dodge (1 4) Bobby has spent quite a bit of time scurrying around, we thought Dodge would help him stop worrying and keep scurrying.

Additional show notes: Another cast extra was injured and failed to finish the game. Gonna need 2 more extras for the next episode. Oh, and Shelly Johnson (ST 4 line elf) will need a show off, since an Oboe fell on her too. Good thing that Oboe got tossed out after falling on 4 people. Seriously, those things are dangerous, and someone should really put it away. Like permanently :) And after haggling with the producers for more money, they rescinded their first offer and said that funding issues were going to delay payroll this week (rerolled Winnings 3 to Winnings 1). Damn, Nuffle, I guess he did get me last.”